He called, he want's to come home
When Pigs Fly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
He called, he want's to come home
My ex called crying (and drunk) that he wanted to come home.. I asked "where's home? What do you mean?" At first codie set in, but 1 min into the conversation I came back down to earth and said" I thought you were where you wanted to be." And he hung up on me.
Then His girlfriend called, she was very nice, she said she didn't know what to do with him, I said nothing, there is nothing you can do and that untill he checks himself in to rehab. At first she underplayed his drinking but I got it out of her, he drinks often enough that I know he is not better.. I explained to her that I have come to far to worrie about his needs, I'm trying to make a good life for the kids.
So why then could I not sleep? What if he does knock on the door? How do I turn away the father of my children whithout hurting my kids?
Then His girlfriend called, she was very nice, she said she didn't know what to do with him, I said nothing, there is nothing you can do and that untill he checks himself in to rehab. At first she underplayed his drinking but I got it out of her, he drinks often enough that I know he is not better.. I explained to her that I have come to far to worrie about his needs, I'm trying to make a good life for the kids.
So why then could I not sleep? What if he does knock on the door? How do I turn away the father of my children whithout hurting my kids?
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I'd do it kindly and with compassion, something along the lines of: "I'm sorry you're hurting, but this is not your home any more. I pray for you every day and hope you find a path to health, happiness, and success."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
wow........I guess it IS true "it's hard to loose an alcoholic" as Toby Rice Drews often says in the Getting Them Sober bools.
Kermit: no advice,just sending you a hug and prayers.....you have come a long way and have been an inspiration to me.
Kermit: no advice,just sending you a hug and prayers.....you have come a long way and have been an inspiration to me.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Kermie 
I like what FD said-with compassion it appears to be a good way if he should come knocking.
In the meantime do something for yourself so that you can get that restful sleep you deserve again!
I like what FD said-with compassion it appears to be a good way if he should come knocking.
In the meantime do something for yourself so that you can get that restful sleep you deserve again!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
(((kermie)))
Hopefully you won't be put in that situation, but if you are and he does come over- you've had some some warning and can be prepared with an answer.
It's things like this that remind me to take only day at a time and live in today.
hugs
Hopefully you won't be put in that situation, but if you are and he does come over- you've had some some warning and can be prepared with an answer.
It's things like this that remind me to take only day at a time and live in today.
hugs
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
((((((((((((Kermie)))))))))))))
A short while ago I would be telling you to ask him "How does it feel to want...." But that question would have come from someone who was in pain herself.....today I agree with FD...handle it with compassion never forgetting what he did tho....and the reality of it all. Stay the course and be strong. Who knows maybe he did this in a blackout and won't even remember any of it and actually try to make you feel that you dreamed it all up.....that sounds like something my ex would do..
Janitw
A short while ago I would be telling you to ask him "How does it feel to want...." But that question would have come from someone who was in pain herself.....today I agree with FD...handle it with compassion never forgetting what he did tho....and the reality of it all. Stay the course and be strong. Who knows maybe he did this in a blackout and won't even remember any of it and actually try to make you feel that you dreamed it all up.....that sounds like something my ex would do..
Janitw
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
What if he does knock on the door? How do I turn away the father of my children whithout hurting my kids?
I understand why your mind would jump there, please stay in today, focus on you and your children.
Holidays are arriving and practicing alkies use them as a reason to get extremely maudlin and manipulative. I know I sure did, as did many others I know, lol
That was a MANIPULATION call. Stay focused, you are doing great!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
Originally Posted by kermit 
How do I turn away the father of my children whithout hurting my kids?
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