big question for the day
Hi Sadmom,
Both my dad and husband put themselves in rehab. Dad's been sober 12 years, hubby hasn't used in 10 months. The times my husband was court-ordered to attend rehab, he started using again immediately after leaving. From my observation, if they're forced to attend rehab, it doesn't seem to work out so well.
Hugs,
JG
Both my dad and husband put themselves in rehab. Dad's been sober 12 years, hubby hasn't used in 10 months. The times my husband was court-ordered to attend rehab, he started using again immediately after leaving. From my observation, if they're forced to attend rehab, it doesn't seem to work out so well.
Hugs,
JG
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: PA
Posts: 19
Rehab
Do they follow the 12steps and go to AA. What has made this time ok? Because he was ready. After so many broken promises I'm skeptical to take him back once he gets done. I have already laid the ground work for a temporary seperation while we both work this through.
My dad worked at the local AA club Rebos (sober spelled backwards) for 10 years. I'm not sure if he attended meetings while he was there, but he most definitely did not work the 12 steps - he doesn't believe in the whole HP concept.... My husband attended meetings while in rehab but not after. And if he works the 12 steps, I don't know about it. However, he does believe in a Higher Power and is very spiritual when it comes to staying clean and admitting that he's powerless over his addiction.
Only time will tell if he's serious and ready this time.
Only time will tell if he's serious and ready this time.
My AH went through an in-patient treatment program before I met him, when he was 23. Then he went into an outpatient program after we met and married, when he was 30. Both times were voluntary. He's been in and out of AA many times over the years, but never really worked the steps until he apparently, finally, hit HIS rock bottom four months ago. He's 49 now.
Big sigh.........boy, I HATE to admit this, but it's posts like your's, Sarah, that scare me to death. Your husband willingly got his first taste of AA and what treatment had to offer at 23. And now you say that he is 49 and JUST hit his bottom 4 months ago?
I try very hard to hold on to the hope I have in the fact that my daughter has sought help at her young age of 20. She's had outpatient and now is in inpatient treatment. I'm told to believe, have faith, turn it over to God and I am doing trying to do all that. Sometimes it's a daily process, sometimes it's a hourly process.
I guess it's just so disheartening for me to think that she is being afforded the opportunity to get the information that can save her life. Yet she could be like your husband, Sarah, and choose to ignore it. You would think they would get it before 26 years pass.
And we have absolutely no control over any of this. So we're left to stand by and just watch. I've had a hard time watching my daughter during her 'using' times and it's just been a year since I found out about my her problem. How in the world do you people make it 26 years or even more watching this literally destroy your loved one?
Yes, yes, I know....the 12 steps of Al Anon, but surely some of you know the despair a mom can feel after reading about someone who has known for so long how to do it but just hasn't. It is so scary to think that could be my daughter. But I also know I can't live a life of despair. I just can't. I have to believe that one day my daughter will get it.
Thanks for letting me just vent a little, or really it's more like sharing the thoughts that can really can make me feel so sad sometimes.
I try very hard to hold on to the hope I have in the fact that my daughter has sought help at her young age of 20. She's had outpatient and now is in inpatient treatment. I'm told to believe, have faith, turn it over to God and I am doing trying to do all that. Sometimes it's a daily process, sometimes it's a hourly process.
I guess it's just so disheartening for me to think that she is being afforded the opportunity to get the information that can save her life. Yet she could be like your husband, Sarah, and choose to ignore it. You would think they would get it before 26 years pass.
And we have absolutely no control over any of this. So we're left to stand by and just watch. I've had a hard time watching my daughter during her 'using' times and it's just been a year since I found out about my her problem. How in the world do you people make it 26 years or even more watching this literally destroy your loved one?
Yes, yes, I know....the 12 steps of Al Anon, but surely some of you know the despair a mom can feel after reading about someone who has known for so long how to do it but just hasn't. It is so scary to think that could be my daughter. But I also know I can't live a life of despair. I just can't. I have to believe that one day my daughter will get it.
Thanks for letting me just vent a little, or really it's more like sharing the thoughts that can really can make me feel so sad sometimes.
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