The Family Afterwards
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Thin Ice
Posts: 96
The Family Afterwards
Just thought I would post this
__________________________________________________
The Family Afterwards
(111:1) You should never be angry
(111:1) Patience
(111:1) Good Temper are most necessary.
(111:4) Reasonableness
(111:4) Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion.
(115:3) it is best not to take sides in any argument
(115:3) Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around.
(116:0) be careful not to be resentful
(116:3) try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives.
(117:2) ìThese workouts (with faith and sincerity) should be regarded as part of your education
(117:3) be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit.î
(118:2, 127:0) tolerance (122:1) All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance
(118:2, 122:1) understanding
(118:2, 122:1, 127:0) love
(118:2) show a willingness to remedy your own defects
(119:0) When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.
(119:2) cooperate, rather than complain
(119:2) awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others.
(120:0) think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out.
(120:3) place the problem, along with everything else, in GodÃ*s hands.î
(124:1) grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.
(124:2) Cling to the thought that, in GodÃ*s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have-the key to life and happiness for others.
(125:1) We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.
(125:2) do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve.î
(127:0) They should be thankful
(127:0) spiritual understanding.
(127:3) family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.
(128:0) Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle.
(131:2) each will have to yield here and there if the family is going to play an effective part in the new life.
(132:0) Each individual should consult his own conscience.
(132:1) We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
(132:1) We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the worldÃ*s troubles on our shoulders.
(132:2) So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness.
(132:4) So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant.
(133:0) We are sure God wants us to be happy joyous and free.
(133:0) Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
(135:0) Seeing is believing to most familiesÖî
(135:4) We have three little mottoes:
First Things First Live and Let Live Easy Does It
(111:2) Never tell [them] (him) what [they] (he) must do
(111:3) Do not set your heart on reforming your [Spouse] (husband)
(111:4) Let [them] (him) see that you want to be helpful rather than critical.
(113:1) Avoid urging [them] (him) to follow our program.
(113:2) Again, you should not crowd [them] (him.)
(115:1) you must be on your guard not to embarrass or harm [them] (your husband).
(120:1) You need not remind [them] (him) of [their] (his) spiritual deficiency.
(120:1) Cheer [them] (him) up and ask [them] (him) how you can be still more helpful.
(123:4) [they] (he) shouldn't be reproached. {to blame, condemn or criticize}
(127:0) Let them praise [each others] (his) progress.
(127:2) show unselfishness and love under [your] (his) own roof.
(131:2) thoughtful consideration [should be] given their needs.
(130:2) adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.
__________________________________________________ _____
This is kind of some helpful hints for the Anon on how to deal with the "A" in their life. It gave a lot of suggestions.
I am an A
and I posted this ----- Please Don't Shoot ME! :uzi2:
P.S. I will try to treat my "Anon" the same as it suggests for an "A" above.
__________________________________________________
The Family Afterwards
(111:1) You should never be angry
(111:1) Patience
(111:1) Good Temper are most necessary.
(111:4) Reasonableness
(111:4) Be sure you are not critical during such a discussion.
(115:3) it is best not to take sides in any argument
(115:3) Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around.
(116:0) be careful not to be resentful
(116:3) try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives.
(117:2) ìThese workouts (with faith and sincerity) should be regarded as part of your education
(117:3) be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit.î
(118:2, 127:0) tolerance (122:1) All members of the family should meet upon the common ground of tolerance
(118:2, 122:1) understanding
(118:2, 122:1, 127:0) love
(118:2) show a willingness to remedy your own defects
(119:0) When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings.
(119:2) cooperate, rather than complain
(119:2) awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others.
(120:0) think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out.
(120:3) place the problem, along with everything else, in GodÃ*s hands.î
(124:1) grow by our willingness to face and rectify errors and convert them into assets.
(124:2) Cling to the thought that, in GodÃ*s hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have-the key to life and happiness for others.
(125:1) We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance.
(125:2) do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve.î
(127:0) They should be thankful
(127:0) spiritual understanding.
(127:3) family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism.
(128:0) Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle.
(131:2) each will have to yield here and there if the family is going to play an effective part in the new life.
(132:0) Each individual should consult his own conscience.
(132:1) We absolutely insist on enjoying life.
(132:1) We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the worldÃ*s troubles on our shoulders.
(132:2) So we think cheerfulness and laughter make for usefulness.
(132:4) So let each family play together or separately, as much as their circumstances warrant.
(133:0) We are sure God wants us to be happy joyous and free.
(133:0) Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.
(135:0) Seeing is believing to most familiesÖî
(135:4) We have three little mottoes:
First Things First Live and Let Live Easy Does It
(111:2) Never tell [them] (him) what [they] (he) must do
(111:3) Do not set your heart on reforming your [Spouse] (husband)
(111:4) Let [them] (him) see that you want to be helpful rather than critical.
(113:1) Avoid urging [them] (him) to follow our program.
(113:2) Again, you should not crowd [them] (him.)
(115:1) you must be on your guard not to embarrass or harm [them] (your husband).
(120:1) You need not remind [them] (him) of [their] (his) spiritual deficiency.
(120:1) Cheer [them] (him) up and ask [them] (him) how you can be still more helpful.
(123:4) [they] (he) shouldn't be reproached. {to blame, condemn or criticize}
(127:0) Let them praise [each others] (his) progress.
(127:2) show unselfishness and love under [your] (his) own roof.
(131:2) thoughtful consideration [should be] given their needs.
(130:2) adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.
__________________________________________________ _____
This is kind of some helpful hints for the Anon on how to deal with the "A" in their life. It gave a lot of suggestions.
I am an A
and I posted this ----- Please Don't Shoot ME! :uzi2:P.S. I will try to treat my "Anon" the same as it suggests for an "A" above.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: The Thin Ice
Posts: 96
My Mistake !
When I originally posted the first message here in the Al-Anon forum, I did not think it through. I have heard people in AA reccomend that the Anon read "the family afterwards" in "the big book".
I may have made it sound like an Anon should treat their A like this at all times. That was not the intention!
As I read it again, they are very good suggestions and I am sure any 12 stepper could use some of the ideas as a part of their program. I am sure that if everybody in the household tried to follow these suggestions (to the best of their ability) that the family unit would be much more stable and pleasent. Maybe I should have posted it in "RAPS"
We are not saints no body would be able to follow all the suggestions at the same time. I am sure that if I worked on a few of them myself (as an A) that things would be better between me and my Anon.
As I said I think it is more of an idea of how to live for anyone (one day at a time).
I may have made it sound like an Anon should treat their A like this at all times. That was not the intention!
As I read it again, they are very good suggestions and I am sure any 12 stepper could use some of the ideas as a part of their program. I am sure that if everybody in the household tried to follow these suggestions (to the best of their ability) that the family unit would be much more stable and pleasent. Maybe I should have posted it in "RAPS"
We are not saints no body would be able to follow all the suggestions at the same time. I am sure that if I worked on a few of them myself (as an A) that things would be better between me and my Anon.
As I said I think it is more of an idea of how to live for anyone (one day at a time).
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
lol !! at Still in the Dumps !!
okay wont shoot Ya and i find some of these helpful tidbits great but if i could do them all you' could call me Mother Theresa.
I'm just a human bean and we're all doin the best we can !
But thanks !
Hugs
liddy
ps i just saw that you re-posted- i see what you intended as a general guidline for living.
you may live now !
okay wont shoot Ya and i find some of these helpful tidbits great but if i could do them all you' could call me Mother Theresa.
I'm just a human bean and we're all doin the best we can !
But thanks !
Hugs
liddy
ps i just saw that you re-posted- i see what you intended as a general guidline for living.
you may live now !
Southern through and through
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: In.....trouble :-)
Posts: 1,453
Dumps,
I was just giving you a little ribbing there. I knew your post was well intended. I think we are in agreement that working the 12 step program whether from the AA side or Al Anon side is a good thing. Heck, it's good strategy for life even if you are normal without any problems. But we both know there are NO people in the world that are normal and without problems....
I was just giving you a little ribbing there. I knew your post was well intended. I think we are in agreement that working the 12 step program whether from the AA side or Al Anon side is a good thing. Heck, it's good strategy for life even if you are normal without any problems. But we both know there are NO people in the world that are normal and without problems....
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I think this is a great list. Anything that helps me take a look at myself and set goals is a good thing. I don't take it at all as if I have to do everything on this list right now, but it's a good guide.
Thanks Still in the Dumps. I think I'll print this out for my employees too.
Hugs,
MG
Thanks Still in the Dumps. I think I'll print this out for my employees too.
Hugs,
MG
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