thinking of others too much/attending open AA meetings

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08-09-2007, 02:04 PM

# 21 (permalink)

Astro

Forum Leader

Join Date: Nov 2006

Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!

Posts: 23,061

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunshine321

It has been recommended that I attend AA meeting in my Al-Alnon meetings. And I have recently. It does help me have compasion for the Alcoholic but not for my alcoholic. Other alcoholics don't hurt me and abuse me. Mine does or at least tries to. I can't have compasion for someone who hurts me. At least not yet

I have never heard it mentioned in an AA meeting that anyone should or could attend Al-Anon to get a better prospective of what the sober family is going through. It might serve for it to be in the beginning of a meeting. I don't think the A is even thinking of anyone but themselves in those meetings. I will say one thing though. Every AA meeting I've attended I will be the only Al-Anon in the room. When it comes time to introduce myself and I say I'm an Al-Anon member everyone turns to look at me like I have two heads. I don't think they love me being there if I don't have a problem like them too. They don't tell me to leave but I get the impression I'm an outsider.

I'm no different from your A, Jenny, we have so many similarities that take away our uniqueness once our eyes are open to the disease.

No, we don't announce that our members should attend Al-Anon, but I hear it suggested often at our discussion tables. When I speak at meetings I talk about 2nd stage recovery, and how the programs of Al-Anon and CoDA have helped me to grow. And I understand what you mean about feeling like an outsider. My GF gets the same looks when she shares at AA meetings. I think most AA'ers kinda wonder why anyone who isn't an alcoholic would want to attend a meeting, but I can assure you that 99.9% of us are very happy that you're there.

Speaking for myself, when I'm at a meeting what I'm thinking about most of the time is my actions in the past and what I'm working on to correct them. Honestly, it's not "all about me" anymore.

08-09-2007, 11:34 PM

# 22 (permalink)

bostonluv

Member

Join Date: Aug 2007

Location: Northern CA

Posts: 1,733

I'm an alcoholic and visiting this board really helps me see how my drinking affects the people in my life that I love. I never drank thinking, I really want to damage all my relationships. Mostly I want to destroy myself. I'm a tornado. If you're in my path while I'm doing this - you're going down also. It's a good dose of reality for me to see the anger, frustration and sadness so many of you have. However, to stew in that too much would send me into self hatred and back to my old understanding friend, Chardonay.

08-10-2007, 07:32 AM

# 23 (permalink)

Nitelite

Member

Join Date: Apr 2007

Location: Hurricane Alley, Fl

Posts: 119

There are several members of AA in the al-anon meetings here; it's been said that AA teaches you how to put down the drink, and al-anon teaches you how to pick up your life. We also have one all-together meeting once a week.
The best story I heard recently was at a joint weekend seminar. The speaker asked everyone in al-anon to stand up. When they did, the members of AA broke out into applause and cheering....

08-10-2007, 08:22 AM

# 24 (permalink)

laurie6781

Belgian Sheepdog Adictee

Join Date: Apr 2004

Location: In Today

Posts: 6,101

Quote:

I don't know that they will ever truly understand what it feels like to be on this side of the disease..

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh but once we get our first Sponsee, we do understand, lol That's is part of what Alanon taught me..............................because of Alanon I have a great raport with my sponsees.......................................... much better than those early years, lol

I send most of my sponsees to Alanon after they have some sober time, just like my sponsor did for me.

More and more, I see sober alkies in Alanon meetings.

Thanks to AA and Alanon, I am the person I am today!

J M H O

Love and hugs,