One Last Try With Showing Vulnerabilities
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
One Last Try With Showing Vulnerabilities
So, after the posts last week here about showing vulnerabilities....
Big fight with AW.
So I decided that I'd try "one more time" and one more time only...to let her know exactly what it is I need from her and our relationship. I was very open...and knowing what was discussed here in those posts I had a good idea what would happen.
As to be expected, my comments have now been dismissed by her. Instead, she has made a subtle threat that if I don't change, the marriage will be over.
So now, I'm moving forward with my plans and timetable to get the hell out. I'll be setting it in motion this week. It will take a few weeks to acheive but I've had all I think I can take.
Big fight with AW.
So I decided that I'd try "one more time" and one more time only...to let her know exactly what it is I need from her and our relationship. I was very open...and knowing what was discussed here in those posts I had a good idea what would happen.
As to be expected, my comments have now been dismissed by her. Instead, she has made a subtle threat that if I don't change, the marriage will be over.
So now, I'm moving forward with my plans and timetable to get the hell out. I'll be setting it in motion this week. It will take a few weeks to acheive but I've had all I think I can take.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Asking,
You've done the right thing for yourself. When push comes to shove, all we are capable of as human beings is trying as hard as we can to make something work.
I'm glad that you've done that, that you see you've done that, and you're taking steps to point yourself toward a better life.
Take care,
GiveLove
You've done the right thing for yourself. When push comes to shove, all we are capable of as human beings is trying as hard as we can to make something work.
I'm glad that you've done that, that you see you've done that, and you're taking steps to point yourself toward a better life.
Take care,
GiveLove
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Out on a MTB trail somewhere
Posts: 202
Asking,
I know how hard it can be when you keep trying and putting yourself out there by ask the A in your life, in this case your AW and for me my exabf, what exactly it is you need from them and the relationship, only to have your feelings, needs, wants, & efforts to be completely dismissed. It's heartbreaking, or at least it was for me. I spent the last 1 1/2 of my relationship with my exabf going round and round in a vicious circle. I would be vulnerable and ask my exabf for what I needed from him and our relationship expecting that if he cared or had any type of love for me and above all else our friendship he would make some type of effort, only to get the same response each time = Nothing...
Good for you for continuing with your plan to walk away. I didn't love myself enough towards the end of my relationship to do the most loving thing, walk away. Now, a year and 1/2 later I'm finally learning to truly love and respect myself. Hang in there!!
~MTB
I know how hard it can be when you keep trying and putting yourself out there by ask the A in your life, in this case your AW and for me my exabf, what exactly it is you need from them and the relationship, only to have your feelings, needs, wants, & efforts to be completely dismissed. It's heartbreaking, or at least it was for me. I spent the last 1 1/2 of my relationship with my exabf going round and round in a vicious circle. I would be vulnerable and ask my exabf for what I needed from him and our relationship expecting that if he cared or had any type of love for me and above all else our friendship he would make some type of effort, only to get the same response each time = Nothing...
Good for you for continuing with your plan to walk away. I didn't love myself enough towards the end of my relationship to do the most loving thing, walk away. Now, a year and 1/2 later I'm finally learning to truly love and respect myself. Hang in there!!
~MTB
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
You've tried hard to make things work. There comes a point when enough is enough. As for her subtle threat, RAH used to do that all the time, acting like it was all my fault and if I didn't change, it would be over. My final goodbye speech told him that I agree alot was my fault, I shouldn't have tried to stop him from drinking, and no longer want him to stop drinking, he should have the right to drink and enjoy himself the way he sees fit, but that I don't have to live with it so I'm leaving. I twisted it to make it look like he was right, and made my plans accordingly. I hope all works out well for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wales
Posts: 523
Good luck Asking youve done all you can. Now go and live your life. I have done it and today i am happy and stronger than ever. I have no regrets ive learned a lot from this experience about ME i have good days and bad ones like everyone else. You have done nothing wrong to be feeling like this you dont deserve all the pain she is giving you. Like my xab she will never change till she wants too. no matter what, mine is in hospital again and when he gets out he will go to the pub and carry on as normal. This time i dont have to be a part of it and it's a nice feeling. i thought i'd be sad, but im not.
Be strong
Mx
Be strong
Mx
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