almost done?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 15
almost done?
hello everyone, i have been here reading the posts and they have really helped me.
i have been married to ah for 16 years. when we first met, i was going thru a divorce, and had an 8 year old daughter. money was scarce. he started paying my bills, giving me money and i was totally taken in by it all. we were married after 1 year. i got pregnant right away( i wanted another child). every weekend he would get drunk and be very verbally abusive. he would come home after the bars closed and wake me up to call me names and threaten me. he never got physical but the words were worse i think. so we never really had a normal marraige. of corse this was all my fault. after 5 years of this i took his keys and started to lock him out when he was drinking. ( Oh yeah, many DUIs no drivers license, so i had to quit my job in order to take and pick up from work) i did get to stay home with my youngest daughter. shes now 15.
fast forward...he is out there drinking for the last week. hasnt gone to work.
maxed out his credit cards. a cab driver called me this morning because he picked him up and took him someplace and his card was denied. me, like a dummy, go meet the driver to give him another card. i should have let him call the police. he just called to say that everyone tells him what a great guy he is. see, its me again.
i just dont see how i can have him come back to live here again. but im afraid because i still havent found a job that i can suppot myself and daughter. im gonna have to get some kind of aid for a while, but dont know how to go about it.
any thoughts?
i have been married to ah for 16 years. when we first met, i was going thru a divorce, and had an 8 year old daughter. money was scarce. he started paying my bills, giving me money and i was totally taken in by it all. we were married after 1 year. i got pregnant right away( i wanted another child). every weekend he would get drunk and be very verbally abusive. he would come home after the bars closed and wake me up to call me names and threaten me. he never got physical but the words were worse i think. so we never really had a normal marraige. of corse this was all my fault. after 5 years of this i took his keys and started to lock him out when he was drinking. ( Oh yeah, many DUIs no drivers license, so i had to quit my job in order to take and pick up from work) i did get to stay home with my youngest daughter. shes now 15.
fast forward...he is out there drinking for the last week. hasnt gone to work.
maxed out his credit cards. a cab driver called me this morning because he picked him up and took him someplace and his card was denied. me, like a dummy, go meet the driver to give him another card. i should have let him call the police. he just called to say that everyone tells him what a great guy he is. see, its me again.
i just dont see how i can have him come back to live here again. but im afraid because i still havent found a job that i can suppot myself and daughter. im gonna have to get some kind of aid for a while, but dont know how to go about it.
any thoughts?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Welcome. This is a great palce to get information, advice and support. Its really helped me.
I don't know what resources are available in your area but contact the state or county human services agencies and they will be glad to help you out. Its what they are there for and most are usually very glad to give assistance and point you to other places as well.
I don't know what resources are available in your area but contact the state or county human services agencies and they will be glad to help you out. Its what they are there for and most are usually very glad to give assistance and point you to other places as well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
Welcome Sue.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must be rough on you and your daughter.
Try the resources that Barbara mentioned above. Also, look into a women's resources center in your area. Where I live, one of them is called 'women helping women'. I'm not sure exactly what they have to offer, but I'm sure they can certainly help to point you in the right direction.
Keep coming back. Getting support from people that have been there and understand is so important.
Sorry to hear about your situation. I know it must be rough on you and your daughter.
Try the resources that Barbara mentioned above. Also, look into a women's resources center in your area. Where I live, one of them is called 'women helping women'. I'm not sure exactly what they have to offer, but I'm sure they can certainly help to point you in the right direction.
Keep coming back. Getting support from people that have been there and understand is so important.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome ((((SUE)))) to SR! You have found a wonderful place. Read some stickies and keep posting there is alot of support here at SR.
I'm so sorry that you are going through this and know that it is hard on all of you.
Check yes the resources Barb mentioned- and hopefully this will help you start off on the right direction as ICU said.
Possibly check out Al-Anon meeting or two as well.....
I'm so sorry that you are going through this and know that it is hard on all of you.
Check yes the resources Barb mentioned- and hopefully this will help you start off on the right direction as ICU said.
Possibly check out Al-Anon meeting or two as well.....
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