planet

I had a long talk with the hubby today. He complains about sex and how he never gets any. HHHMMM Well I don't care to have sex with alcohol. Today was the day. I just let it all out.. about my misery and unhappiness. I cried and cried. I can't take it anymore. I want to be happy. I remember looking back at my high school pics and noticing how happy I looked. I don't think I looked like that since I met him. Now back to our conversatioin. Of course he promised to fix the drinking. Says he can quit no problem and never look back. I know he can't but I want so much to have faith. I reassured him I would be there to support him if he was trying. Now I suspect he may hide it from me. Is this wrong of me to not have complete faith. I want to believe I just don't know that I can. At the same time I want to leave and I can't. What is wrong with me?

Barbara52

**{hugs}}

There is nothing wrong with you! Take a good deep breath and try to relax.

parentrecovers

i'm praying with you, k

Rella927

There is nothing wrong with you-what he is doing is unacceptable for the way you want to live-that does not mean there is anything wrong with you-Hang in there (((HUGS)))) and maybe look into an Al-Anon meeting-it could be right for you or not-one never knows until they try.

And for the sex-I know IMHO who wants to have sex with someone when you are angry at them or disappointed? Drunk or NOT! I know in my own life I would not. Just MHO

prodigal

You mentioned you want to leave but you can't. Are you a stay-at-home mom? Do you not have a job? I'd suggest you look up Al-Anon meetings in your area and attend a few. Yes, we all want to have faith in the promises made by the A's in our lives. I'd also suggest you consider placing your faith elsewhere - in yourself and your right to have a life that allows you to have contentment and hapiness. If you're looking for it while living with an active A, you'll have to learn to detach. That's where Al-Anon can help.

And, yes, you are probably right .... he will hide the booze and continue to drink. All the while trying to convince you that he's clean. Read some of the posts here. I think you will find that many of us have experienced the same thing. I think it's admirable that you want to support him. However, I personally feel it's best to support someone who is making a sincere effort to stop drinking - going to AA, seeing an addictions counselor. If he doesn't think he has a problem, he's obviously not going to seek help. Telling you he can stop anytime he so desires is (1) denial about his problem, and (2) a way to passify you in order to make you stop hounding him about his drinking.

He doesn't want to stop drinking. You can remain miserable with the situation. As I said, I strongly suggest Al-Anon. Working such a program can really help you see you deserve more than empty promises.

Wanttobefree

Nothing is wrong with you. Unless it is wrong with all of us. I know I shouldn't speak for everyone, but I get so much understanding from this forum, that I believe we have all had so many of the same feelings. Educate yourself about alcoholism, take care of yourself and don't get sucked into the drama. Ask yourself why you should have complete faith. Do you trust him, is he a man of his word, or would you be setting yourself up for yet another disapointment? As for leaving, I couldn't leave either, and I STILL can't figure out why. Working on that.

denny57

Instead of thinking if what I'm doing is wrong for someone else, I now ask is it wrong for me. If the answer is yes, I stop doing it.

((()))