hope2bhappy

Almost 6 months have passed since I posted about the earth-shattering change in my life -- my AH's "bottom" and subsequent decision to enter rehab. People on the board cautioned me that the road to recovery would (or could) be just as bumpy as living with active addiction. So far, for me, nothing could be as bad as active addiction.

My AH has thrown himself into his recovery. He attends AA every single day and twice a day on the weekends. He continues to go to his extended outpatient treatment one night a week. I think he has read the Big Book about 6 times, now, and about half a dozen other books. He has involved himself in service to AA, as much as he is allowed to in these early days of recovery. He helps set up and clean up at meetings. He cooks out at the weekend meetings. He hands out chips (his favorite thing). He reads the traditions and promises at the meetings. He drives people to and from the meetings. He stays in touch with those he went through rehab with. He makes phone calls to those who have had a tough time staying sober. He's always anxious to talk about his meetings... the shares... the speakers.

What do I do? A lot of soul searching. A lot of meditating about myself... examining how I react to certain situations. How I can stop reacting. How I can be a better person for myself and others. I've learned a great deal about myself. Some of it I like, and some of it I don't. My relationships with others have improved. I have learned gratitude. And I never, ever complain that he's so wrapped up in his program. I give thanks.

I've never been in a sober relationship with this man. And, I admit that sometimes I don't feel like I'm in a relationship at all. I'm hoping that I will be someday, because I genuinely like him -- the sober him. But, right now, he is so focused on his sobriety, that if it wasn't for the bonds of matrimony joining us together, I'm not sure he'd even be with me -- or anyone else, for that matter. So... I just keep trying to focus on me, while he is busy focusing on himself. I have faith that everything will happen as it is meant to.

WantsOut

That's so wonderful. Thank you for letting us know. Sometimes it's hard to hold out hope with so much carnage around here ...

Spiritual Seeker

He us busy with sobriety and going at it the only way he knows how. full throttle.
Being an addict was isolating and now recovery must feel like the same.
Just get busy in your own life and be all that you can be. If you go to alanon at least you will be able to "speak the language." If he goes to speaker mtgs. you could go to those with him.

LaTeeDa

Thank you for the powerful and enlightening post. But, most of all, thank you for illustrating that recovery for the alcoholic does not mean automatic recovery for the family. This is a very important point that most of us do not want to face.

Thanks again,
L

hopeangel

thank you for such a wonderful hopeful post! just be as busy in your life as he is in his

ps. i'm very happy that you are both seeking recovery!