he says he's done
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Booneyville USA
Posts: 246
Originally Posted by minnie 
I haven't left the house since without doing the "keys, wallet, fags, phone" ritual.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
OMG dobie! i think your right. it would work better. i think i'll mix the two 
i have to go soo bad right now too -hehe! i should probably hold it for like four hours and then go to town right? - LMAO
hey, how could he be mad right? he does it all the time.
"No need for revenge. Just follow through on your plans. That's your responsibility, right?" yes minnie, it is. i am trying to stick this out, but i have to admit it is getting harder and harder to live in the same house with him
he just goes about disrepecting everything in the house and me. hopefully, him sleeping in the truck after dumping the beer all over last night will be the start of him respecting the no alcohol in the house and no passing out and losing control of bodily functions in the house !
he got drunk last night after he went to counseling. i'm just sad about it all really and mad (can't forget that), but at the same time i am soo glad i didn't give in to him because i'm no longer playing the fool. what good will counseling do you if you are getting drunk right after to forget it?
i have to go soo bad right now too -hehe! i should probably hold it for like four hours and then go to town right? - LMAO
hey, how could he be mad right? he does it all the time.
"No need for revenge. Just follow through on your plans. That's your responsibility, right?" yes minnie, it is. i am trying to stick this out, but i have to admit it is getting harder and harder to live in the same house with him
he just goes about disrepecting everything in the house and me. hopefully, him sleeping in the truck after dumping the beer all over last night will be the start of him respecting the no alcohol in the house and no passing out and losing control of bodily functions in the house !
he got drunk last night after he went to counseling. i'm just sad about it all really and mad (can't forget that), but at the same time i am soo glad i didn't give in to him because i'm no longer playing the fool. what good will counseling do you if you are getting drunk right after to forget it?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
it might just come to that. i want so bad to wait until i get the money i should be getting from a settlement. things would be much easier then. plus, right now i am trying to get things in the house ready to move when the time comes. i have a lot of stuff to get rid of and things like that.
i just might have to put this all into high gear though.
i just might have to put this all into high gear though.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: oh
Posts: 757
nice idea, but i work during the day. i have been taking some days off to try and get things done though. i'm trying to kinda pace myself. plus, there is a real big part of me that thinks he should be the one to leave. i don't want to stay with family or friends. i feel like this is my responsibility to take care of, not their's and i don't want to put any of them out. i just wouldn't be comfortable. so, that is most definitely a last resort.
afterall, my brother just spent a year at my mom's and just moved out at age 42 because he couldn't support himself, and i have a feeling he might just be going back there.
plus, i just don't think moving out right now would be the smartest move as far as protecting my investments. i just really want to be prepared and smart about every move. i mean, who knows what he would do to that house or my stuff in it!
afterall, my brother just spent a year at my mom's and just moved out at age 42 because he couldn't support himself, and i have a feeling he might just be going back there.
plus, i just don't think moving out right now would be the smartest move as far as protecting my investments. i just really want to be prepared and smart about every move. i mean, who knows what he would do to that house or my stuff in it!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
i understand what you mean... and you don't want to live at home with your brother?! 
as long as you have your plan, you're doing what you need to do! you shouldn't be the one that has to leave, but that might be your only option down the road. thinking of you!
as long as you have your plan, you're doing what you need to do! you shouldn't be the one that has to leave, but that might be your only option down the road. thinking of you!
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Love him or hate him, I have learnt some great stuff from Dr Phil.
I remember watching a show if his where he said that there are some situations where "everything is negotiable", i.e. if we want something (i.e. a peaceful life) then we have to put everything up for scrutiny and analyse whether we can give that up for our goal.
I did that, but I can only see it in hindsight. I left a lovely house and a hugely successful and growing business because it wasn't enough.
I remember watching a show if his where he said that there are some situations where "everything is negotiable", i.e. if we want something (i.e. a peaceful life) then we have to put everything up for scrutiny and analyse whether we can give that up for our goal.
I did that, but I can only see it in hindsight. I left a lovely house and a hugely successful and growing business because it wasn't enough.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
I did too.
But you should see the place I live in NOW!!!! In fact, I'm gonna post some piccies. Give me a few mins..........
I know what you're saying, and perhaps you can take some legal advice on that. I would say, though, that you don't know what's through that other door in the hall till you turn around and walk through it.
But you should see the place I live in NOW!!!! In fact, I'm gonna post some piccies. Give me a few mins..........
I know what you're saying, and perhaps you can take some legal advice on that. I would say, though, that you don't know what's through that other door in the hall till you turn around and walk through it.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Trying to find the real pretty pics, but this I live in part of this converted Mill which was built in about 1770. We are surrounded by fields, a canal, a river and paddocks complete with 2 horses (Domino and Frog), sheep, a donkey (Jago) and a goat (Axel).
http://picasaweb.google.com/minnie.m...ey=iyP_Qq245qE
Puts my forner place to shame. And as for the neighbours - they are truly awesome and have been a huge part of my healing. I would never have been there, nor met those lovely people had my situation not been negotiable.
That is not for a munite to say that you should leave. I just wanted to show you that the alternative is not so terrible.
http://picasaweb.google.com/minnie.m...ey=iyP_Qq245qE
Puts my forner place to shame. And as for the neighbours - they are truly awesome and have been a huge part of my healing. I would never have been there, nor met those lovely people had my situation not been negotiable.
That is not for a munite to say that you should leave. I just wanted to show you that the alternative is not so terrible.
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
(((((((Hope)))))))
Oh bother do I EVER know where your coming from,,,,I'm about to leave my island?!?!?!?
I've been dreading it, was actually suppose to do it in June and been dragging my feet. Now that I'm down to the "wire" I have some mixed emotions
There are time that I run the beach and I stop short at the rock we use to lay on and talk for HOURS about our future.
Theres the family of red fox that frolic in the conservation area that I will no longer follow to see the NEW fox in the spring. The "couple" have been together the whole time I've been here. I watched their "begingings" when she would let him chase her for months, before he finally caught her
It's where my dog saved the kitty 5 years ago after someone abandoned him along with the rest of the litter. He was the only survivor. Kashja wouldn't drop Bear outta her mouth for 24 hours so I could take him to the vet. He was 2 weeks old. I finally had to go adopt him cause the damn dog was in mourning
Kashja was put down last year, but Bear is the cat whose a dog,,
I'm crying as I type, the memories and the "investment" that is in this island for me
It's where I dsicovered the spirits,,,,
But,,,(dry's my eyes)
My new place is in the middle of a bustling, ecletic city where I have friends and will be surrounded by love. The island has become isolation for me. The new place is a reflection of ME. I "fit" better
I am getting EXCITED about having MY place. Decorated the way I want. Devoid of the memories of my former life. The opportunity to fill it with my new life.
In other words, its ALL ABOUT ME
To me, thats the best "investment" I can make,,,,
Peace
Oh bother do I EVER know where your coming from,,,,I'm about to leave my island?!?!?!?
I've been dreading it, was actually suppose to do it in June and been dragging my feet. Now that I'm down to the "wire" I have some mixed emotions
There are time that I run the beach and I stop short at the rock we use to lay on and talk for HOURS about our future.
Theres the family of red fox that frolic in the conservation area that I will no longer follow to see the NEW fox in the spring. The "couple" have been together the whole time I've been here. I watched their "begingings" when she would let him chase her for months, before he finally caught her
It's where my dog saved the kitty 5 years ago after someone abandoned him along with the rest of the litter. He was the only survivor. Kashja wouldn't drop Bear outta her mouth for 24 hours so I could take him to the vet. He was 2 weeks old. I finally had to go adopt him cause the damn dog was in mourning
Kashja was put down last year, but Bear is the cat whose a dog,,
I'm crying as I type, the memories and the "investment" that is in this island for me
It's where I dsicovered the spirits,,,,
But,,,(dry's my eyes)
My new place is in the middle of a bustling, ecletic city where I have friends and will be surrounded by love. The island has become isolation for me. The new place is a reflection of ME. I "fit" better
I am getting EXCITED about having MY place. Decorated the way I want. Devoid of the memories of my former life. The opportunity to fill it with my new life.
In other words, its ALL ABOUT ME
To me, thats the best "investment" I can make,,,,
Peace
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 11
Hopeangle, I am with you girl, had the same problem, and you are doing the right thing. It took me leaving with the kids and saying I was done and I would not talk to him or put my wedding ring on or come back home until he was sober and getting help, and he is sober and staying sober and in classes, as I wrote in one of my threads. Stay strong, its hard finding the answer but your doing it and I hope all of us can be just as strong. Good loving yourself and my heart goes out to you. Aleks035
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