I deserve better !
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy with me !
Posts: 680
I deserve better !
Well, as some of you know I have been living with AH for the past two weeks again. I took Monday off of work to finish moving what is left in the house , because he will not change. My heart gets in the way of my head.
Well, last night he drank a 12 pack of beer, plus God knows what else...passed out on my side of the bed.
I feel so empty today, I am going to get my cat and go back to my apt. today...........
Well, last night he drank a 12 pack of beer, plus God knows what else...passed out on my side of the bed.
I feel so empty today, I am going to get my cat and go back to my apt. today...........
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
I'm so sorry that happened. It is so sad when you think that, just maybe, this time will be different. And then it isn't.
Hang in there. It takes a long time to get to the point that we can say 'enough' and honestly mean it. Even then, it isn't easy.
I haven't seen or talked to my AH in almost a week, and for that I am thankful today. Because if I did, the rollercoaster of emotion would just start all over again. I am getting a little stronger each day.
I enourage you to take your cat and go back to the apartment, put some distance between you. It is great that you have that option!
Do something nice for yourself today. Even if it seems silly. I have felt like crawling under a rock several times this week. When I sit and stew it gets worse. When I force myself to get out and do something, it gets better.
((((HUGS)))))
Hang in there. It takes a long time to get to the point that we can say 'enough' and honestly mean it. Even then, it isn't easy.
I haven't seen or talked to my AH in almost a week, and for that I am thankful today. Because if I did, the rollercoaster of emotion would just start all over again. I am getting a little stronger each day.
I enourage you to take your cat and go back to the apartment, put some distance between you. It is great that you have that option!
Do something nice for yourself today. Even if it seems silly. I have felt like crawling under a rock several times this week. When I sit and stew it gets worse. When I force myself to get out and do something, it gets better.
((((HUGS)))))
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
lilac, when I read the title of your thread before reading the post, I thought to myself "yes, you do!" Then I read your post and thought YES YOU DO!!!!!
I know it's sad and difficult. Be very kind to yourself in the coming weeks.
((()))
I know it's sad and difficult. Be very kind to yourself in the coming weeks.
((()))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
so sorry he did this to you--I don'tthink it is uncommon for us to make one more attempt at a relationship---you hoped for the best and he popped your balloon again!!Now you can see clearly that this really has nothing to do with you--it's him--he will not change-not your fault--be kind to yourself now.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Happily ever after...
Posts: 163
I feel your pain and sadness. It is such a let down.
Well, hell, It just plain SUCKS!!!!!!
take care of you and hang in there. Easier said then done somtimes, I know.
I can't promise but, one can hope that it does get better.????
(((((HUGS)))))
Well, hell, It just plain SUCKS!!!!!!
take care of you and hang in there. Easier said then done somtimes, I know.
I can't promise but, one can hope that it does get better.????
(((((HUGS)))))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
I've read so many posts where people say "I can't live like this anymore." I said the same thing, myself, hundreds of times. Yet we CAN, and we DO. For me, however, it was a real light bulb moment when one day I replaced the word "can't" with "won't" and finally said, "I won't live like this anymore." Wow! Do you see the difference?
It looks like you've had a light bulb moment. You have found your power.
It looks like you've had a light bulb moment. You have found your power.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 105
I thought the exact same thing Denny said! Glad you recognize that you deserve better!
The emptiness you feel today won't be there forever, I promise. Please continue taking good care of yourself and moving forward.
Hugs to you!
~ghm
The emptiness you feel today won't be there forever, I promise. Please continue taking good care of yourself and moving forward.
Hugs to you!
~ghm
Always hopeful...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 429
Lilac, you have made a long journey, just since you came here......you have sorted out some very important issues in your life. You love that guy, but you have realized you do deserve better, and now you are deciding you won't live like that anymore. This last attempt will help you in the next few weeks with peace of mind in your decision. It is not going to be easy, but it will be easier when you have a clear vision of how you want to live and how you don't. I think you have come to realize he is not going to be any different. We all wish, hope and pray our relationships and lives w/ the A's. will be okay, tolerable, happy? Try and try again, then that 'light bulb' moment, when we know it won't be okay..... Broken hearts suck, but broken lives are more painful. Linda
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