Great talk with hubby last night
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Canada
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Great talk with hubby last night
DH and I got to talking last night about him, drinking and his mom. It didn't start out good, he got mad at me cause I mentioned I was going to go to an al-annon meeting and he said he didn't see why I had to go since it wasn't my parent. He told me that he didn't feel like I was supporting him cause I was questioning how good couple hours of therapy would be for her.
I told him how frustrated I was that he is willing to do everything for her and nothing for me. I told him how I was mad at his mom for putting him through this, how I was feeling sorry for her on all the big events in his life in the last couple years (buying our first house, renovating it, getting married, him switching careers), how I felt cheated cause I've never known her sober and everyone keeps telling me what an amazing person she was. I told him how frustrated I was cause I can see he's hurting and I can't help him, I told him how much it hurts me that she keeps getting his hopes up just to slam them back down. We talked about how the topic of his mom has been dominating every conversation we have lately.
I told him that if she was willing to get help, I would do everything in my power to help her get her life back in order and on track, but that as long as she was drinking, it wouldn't do any good. I told him it upsets me when he enables her. I told him that I don't know how to help him, but that I wish he could find someone that could.
We talked about his drinking and how it concerned me that he had two drinks on sat. He told me that he doesn't want to become like her and that he's going to read the book we have on drinking in moderation, and once the dust settles around his mom, he's going to actively pursue going into anger management. We both agree that it's his temper that needs help, not his drinking, although I'm happy to say there was no yelling last night. we both agreed that our counselling is making a big difference.
All in all it was a very productive night and we both feel so much better.
I know though, that I wouldn't have been able to express my feelings without all the advice I've gotten here - so thank you to all of you! It seems like we're going to travel down this bumpy road together instead of fighting each other each step of the way.
I told him how frustrated I was that he is willing to do everything for her and nothing for me. I told him how I was mad at his mom for putting him through this, how I was feeling sorry for her on all the big events in his life in the last couple years (buying our first house, renovating it, getting married, him switching careers), how I felt cheated cause I've never known her sober and everyone keeps telling me what an amazing person she was. I told him how frustrated I was cause I can see he's hurting and I can't help him, I told him how much it hurts me that she keeps getting his hopes up just to slam them back down. We talked about how the topic of his mom has been dominating every conversation we have lately.
I told him that if she was willing to get help, I would do everything in my power to help her get her life back in order and on track, but that as long as she was drinking, it wouldn't do any good. I told him it upsets me when he enables her. I told him that I don't know how to help him, but that I wish he could find someone that could.
We talked about his drinking and how it concerned me that he had two drinks on sat. He told me that he doesn't want to become like her and that he's going to read the book we have on drinking in moderation, and once the dust settles around his mom, he's going to actively pursue going into anger management. We both agree that it's his temper that needs help, not his drinking, although I'm happy to say there was no yelling last night. we both agreed that our counselling is making a big difference.
All in all it was a very productive night and we both feel so much better.
I know though, that I wouldn't have been able to express my feelings without all the advice I've gotten here - so thank you to all of you! It seems like we're going to travel down this bumpy road together instead of fighting each other each step of the way.
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