The sheriff took him away last night
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NOR CAL
Posts: 70
The sheriff took him away last night
Hello all
I've been reading for the last few months, but this is my first time posting. Last night my AH got drunk (as usual) and his thing is to stand out in the garage and play music real loud as he's drinking. This really bothers me b/c we live in a upscale neighborhood, and my kids (10,12) are usually trying to sleep. Well, I had enough, and called the sheriff who immediately came out. He couldn't believe they could take him away, not arrested, but just to a place to sleep it off. The cops assured me that he would be offered help with his problem, the problem he says he doesn't have. Well, he came home this morning really pissed off, didn't say a word to me, took the kids out all day (still gone), took every penny out of our back account, and who knows what else. I know I'm doing the right thing, I know he's not ready to stop, he's very stubborn and won't have anyone telling him what to do. He's ruined our marriage, and family. We really have a good thing, he just doesn't see it. We've been married 15 years, and he's been this way the whole time. I don't know what's next, when he'll bring the kids home, what he's telling them, but I will stand firm and not tollerate his drinking, whatever it takes. I plan on seeking out Al-Anon next week. I hope calling the cops was a wise choice, a bit of an intervention. I knew there was a price to pay, but enough is enough. Thanks for listening, I have no one to confide in, and this site has really helped me understand that I'm not alone. So much for a happy new year.
I've been reading for the last few months, but this is my first time posting. Last night my AH got drunk (as usual) and his thing is to stand out in the garage and play music real loud as he's drinking. This really bothers me b/c we live in a upscale neighborhood, and my kids (10,12) are usually trying to sleep. Well, I had enough, and called the sheriff who immediately came out. He couldn't believe they could take him away, not arrested, but just to a place to sleep it off. The cops assured me that he would be offered help with his problem, the problem he says he doesn't have. Well, he came home this morning really pissed off, didn't say a word to me, took the kids out all day (still gone), took every penny out of our back account, and who knows what else. I know I'm doing the right thing, I know he's not ready to stop, he's very stubborn and won't have anyone telling him what to do. He's ruined our marriage, and family. We really have a good thing, he just doesn't see it. We've been married 15 years, and he's been this way the whole time. I don't know what's next, when he'll bring the kids home, what he's telling them, but I will stand firm and not tollerate his drinking, whatever it takes. I plan on seeking out Al-Anon next week. I hope calling the cops was a wise choice, a bit of an intervention. I knew there was a price to pay, but enough is enough. Thanks for listening, I have no one to confide in, and this site has really helped me understand that I'm not alone. So much for a happy new year.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Faith~Hope~Love
Posts: 963
Hi (((Penney))) and welcome
Your husband will only stop when he's ready and I think it's great that you are seeking help for yourself. I do hope your kids are okay and return soon. Given what's happened, it would make me very nervous letting him take the kids, but only you can set that boundary. Please keep sharing and keep us updated ok?
hugs ~
deedee
Your husband will only stop when he's ready and I think it's great that you are seeking help for yourself. I do hope your kids are okay and return soon. Given what's happened, it would make me very nervous letting him take the kids, but only you can set that boundary. Please keep sharing and keep us updated ok?
hugs ~
deedee
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
That was really brave of you to call the sheriff. Good for you. The only way anything's changed with my AH is because I put my foot down...hard as that is. And we're still not there yet. But you gotta start somewhere.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
oh penney. Sounds like another ABF I had. The music out in the garage I mean. I don't even live in an upscale neighboorhood but used to bother me. I own my house and he moved in with me. My friends used to tell me to let him know it bothered me becaue the garage is still the house and "it's your house" they would say. He'd smoke pot and drink with his friends who would stumble through the house every half hour or so to use the bathroom. Finally I could take it NO MORE. We broke up about 4 years ago. No regrets about that. Gotta say if nothing else it's great to be the queen of my own palace.
And you're doing the right thing. Had I sought the right help back then I'd probably not be here writing about a new A in my life.
And you're doing the right thing. Had I sought the right help back then I'd probably not be here writing about a new A in my life.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR... Im so glad you are hanging out with us... your not alone and we are all here to support each other.
I have to congradulate you on setting a boundry and sticking too it. If he wants to drink that is his choice and he will not stop till he is ready. That does not mean you have to accept unacceptable behavior and playing the music, drunk, late enough to wake the children is unacceptable in my opinion.
I hope he does not spend alot of time "punishing you" and I hope you can stand strong on your boundry.
I look forward to getting to know you.... I love sharing with strong women and you sound like you have things firmly in hand. Al-anon is going to give you so much peace and support.
I have to congradulate you on setting a boundry and sticking too it. If he wants to drink that is his choice and he will not stop till he is ready. That does not mean you have to accept unacceptable behavior and playing the music, drunk, late enough to wake the children is unacceptable in my opinion.
I hope he does not spend alot of time "punishing you" and I hope you can stand strong on your boundry.
I look forward to getting to know you.... I love sharing with strong women and you sound like you have things firmly in hand. Al-anon is going to give you so much peace and support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Tulsa, OK
Posts: 42
Your doing the right thing...
So many times we do not act, for many reasons. You did, be proud of yourself for not taking this sitting down. He may be angry, he may say things, he may try to bring the kids into this...stand your ground...he is wrong. I will pray that God gives you the strength you need to tackle the man your dealing with.
I wish you peace...
WTB
I wish you peace...
WTB
Rinnie's Grandpa
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Pylesville Maryland
Posts: 1,273
Welcome to SR Penney...
Last night you gave your husband a wake up call. He will either heed it or he won't. You let him know that after 15 years you are sick and tired of of his BS...
2007 may be a new beginning and a good year for you. It may be a new start where you take charge of your sanity and peace of mind...
Best of luck to you and your kids...
Stay Strong and Positive for yourself and for them...
One day at a time.
Steve
Last night you gave your husband a wake up call. He will either heed it or he won't. You let him know that after 15 years you are sick and tired of of his BS...
2007 may be a new beginning and a good year for you. It may be a new start where you take charge of your sanity and peace of mind...
Best of luck to you and your kids...
Stay Strong and Positive for yourself and for them...
One day at a time.
Steve
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