Time to think about ME!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ca
Posts: 69
Time to think about ME!
So I woke up this morning and decided I am tired of it!! I want to be happy like we used to be, and if he doesn’t want to join me, his loss!! I spent all day yesterday in a different room of the house from him. His request. As far as I know he has been sober since Thurs. night. He is very irritable and mean. I kept trying to talk to him yesterday and would walk away crying every time. I kept thinking, he’s sober now why can’t we go back to normal. Well, just because he isn’t drinking doesn’t mean he’s sober. From what I read here he could even be this way for a year or so. He also has a natural tendency to be mean if he wants to. And right now he’s blaming me for him being sober, so he wants to be mean.
So last night I made the decision that I am going to care about myself FIRST!! I signed up to start selling Mary Kay! My niece has been doing it since last April and I have gone to a few women’s nights with her while AH and I were fighting and it was fun!! I never do anything for myself and it’s time I started! I am going to set up a separate checking account to handle my Mary Kay business. This way I have a reason to have another account in case I decide to leave. Also, I am sick and tired of him talking crap to me for how much my hair, makeup, etc. costs. So now I will use this other account to make money for myself and spend it on myself!!!! I am really proud of myself! When he finally realizes what I’m doing, he will be shocked! He doesn’t think I’m strong enough to make these decisions for myself. I always have been independent and strong, just gave it all up to be controlled by AH.
I woke up and went to the gym which I haven’t done in over 2 months because of depression caused by AH. I wrote a list of things to do for myself starting this week…
1. Dr. appointment – I want to have a full physical with blood tests and all to make sure I’m healthy, and talk to Dr. about depression
2. Dentist appointment – I deserve some clean teeth!
3. Eye Dr. appointment – I think I would like some glasses, getting sick of contacts and want to look cute w/ some new glasses
4. Open new checking account for Mary Kay business and ME
So since I have made these decisions for myself today, he is unhappy. You see, I woke up not caring if he doesn’t want to talk to me. So, I went to the gym by myself, and am choosing to be in the other room by myself. He can’t figure out why I’m not begging to be with him. So HE is coming in to me to find out when I want to spend time with him. Totally the opposite of yesterday, except I’m not doing it to be mean to him. I’m doing it because I really just want to be with myself today!
Feel free to reply with what you are going to do for yourself. Heck, it’s time for New Year’s resolutions. But let’s not do it for that reason. Let’s do it for ourselves!!
So last night I made the decision that I am going to care about myself FIRST!! I signed up to start selling Mary Kay! My niece has been doing it since last April and I have gone to a few women’s nights with her while AH and I were fighting and it was fun!! I never do anything for myself and it’s time I started! I am going to set up a separate checking account to handle my Mary Kay business. This way I have a reason to have another account in case I decide to leave. Also, I am sick and tired of him talking crap to me for how much my hair, makeup, etc. costs. So now I will use this other account to make money for myself and spend it on myself!!!! I am really proud of myself! When he finally realizes what I’m doing, he will be shocked! He doesn’t think I’m strong enough to make these decisions for myself. I always have been independent and strong, just gave it all up to be controlled by AH.
I woke up and went to the gym which I haven’t done in over 2 months because of depression caused by AH. I wrote a list of things to do for myself starting this week…
1. Dr. appointment – I want to have a full physical with blood tests and all to make sure I’m healthy, and talk to Dr. about depression
2. Dentist appointment – I deserve some clean teeth!
3. Eye Dr. appointment – I think I would like some glasses, getting sick of contacts and want to look cute w/ some new glasses
4. Open new checking account for Mary Kay business and ME
So since I have made these decisions for myself today, he is unhappy. You see, I woke up not caring if he doesn’t want to talk to me. So, I went to the gym by myself, and am choosing to be in the other room by myself. He can’t figure out why I’m not begging to be with him. So HE is coming in to me to find out when I want to spend time with him. Totally the opposite of yesterday, except I’m not doing it to be mean to him. I’m doing it because I really just want to be with myself today!
Feel free to reply with what you are going to do for yourself. Heck, it’s time for New Year’s resolutions. But let’s not do it for that reason. Let’s do it for ourselves!!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Oh how familiar it rings to remember the follow-from-room-to-room game. You are taking back your power and taking control of your own life. You are not engaging in his game. Now he's stymied and probably has his jockeys in a knot because he can't rope you in. You go, girl! I went to a Mary Kay party years ago and really enjoyed it! Selling and setting up sales parties will give you confidence in yourself. You can also earn a decent income once the ball gets rolling.
It took me about 18 months of sleeping in the basement, going into the office to use the computer, going to watch the other t.v., eating my meals alone in front of my computer while I studied before AH figured out following me wasn't doing any good. I just got bored with the whole thing. And I'm as guilty as he is - I did my fair share of following him from room to room as well so I could get him to admit he had been a jerk - fat chance!
I'm finishing my degree in 2007, applying to graduate school, getting a halfway decent full-time job, and I'm seriously considering moving back to the east coast. I think I have a good chance at getting a position at my last place of employment. I'm going to check it out in January.
I wish you the very best with your new endeavors. Sounds like a very positive direction!
It took me about 18 months of sleeping in the basement, going into the office to use the computer, going to watch the other t.v., eating my meals alone in front of my computer while I studied before AH figured out following me wasn't doing any good. I just got bored with the whole thing. And I'm as guilty as he is - I did my fair share of following him from room to room as well so I could get him to admit he had been a jerk - fat chance!
I'm finishing my degree in 2007, applying to graduate school, getting a halfway decent full-time job, and I'm seriously considering moving back to the east coast. I think I have a good chance at getting a position at my last place of employment. I'm going to check it out in January.
I wish you the very best with your new endeavors. Sounds like a very positive direction!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Ca
Posts: 69
The room following game is no fun!! We play it a lot. I figured I might as well be in charge of it today. It is killing him. He has gotten mad at me a bunch today because I jst don't care. He asked me if we were even going to spend any time together today. I said, I don't care. You didn't care yesterday, and I woke up this morning just caring about myself.
He came up later and asked if I wanted chinese food for dinner. I said sure it sounds ok. But didn't respond the way he wanted to the rest of the conversation. So he went and got it himself, which is something we never do. We always decide together and get the food together. He decided for both of us. So when he came home I let him know that I didn't like that he decided what I was to eat for dinner. So he has come and argued with me a few times about me not caring. I know I'm playing the game too, but at least he's not able to be mean to me. He can't be mean if I don't care what's going on. The food sure smells good though!!
He came up later and asked if I wanted chinese food for dinner. I said sure it sounds ok. But didn't respond the way he wanted to the rest of the conversation. So he went and got it himself, which is something we never do. We always decide together and get the food together. He decided for both of us. So when he came home I let him know that I didn't like that he decided what I was to eat for dinner. So he has come and argued with me a few times about me not caring. I know I'm playing the game too, but at least he's not able to be mean to me. He can't be mean if I don't care what's going on. The food sure smells good though!!
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