mazey

Now, I am so very, very relieved that I don't have to do this whole DUI thing with my exA. I am almost lighthearted today about it. AND, would love to say all those things that I can't say: 'you dumb a-- ! blah blah blah'. HE DID this! Thank God, I got out of this when I did. Timing is everything. It was time, I felt strongly about it and was lead by my HP. Again, one of the questions I asked myself, 'where do I want to be in 5 years?' It took repeated desires to leave/have him leave. But, when it was right it just felt right. Having your ducks in a row is so important, and having sorted things out so in my mind and heart I felt secure with the decision.
The recognition that things could never be any different, as much as I wished them to be, since he didn't believe there was any problem and therefore unwilling to make any changes, made it easier too. I am free to live my life without worrying about his life.

an'ka

That's wonderful, Mazey. That's my goal is to learn to live my life without worrying about his. Even though we haven't lived together for a year, he continues to effect me just as strongly, it is still about him, his disease, his struggles...But I am making slow progress. I keep reminding myself that just because he is ready to recover and work on our relationship does not mean that I have to work on our relationship. It's weird to realize that I don't owe anything to anybody, husband or not, and can really do whatever I feel is best for me. A little wow for me, since I am always so concerned about the feelings and opinions of others.