My husbands a Binger
You're never alone!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,191
My husbands a Binger
Well, here I am again.. I have posted here before, but have never followed up. 
I know thise disease well, and recovery, because I am in recovery. I am a drug addict, clean of illegal drugs since 4/6/05. But when it comes to my husband, and his alcoholism, I feel lost, and very fearful. Not that I didn't feel that way about myself, I did, but these are different feelings. I'm also angry, and tired of this. I am running out of patience. I really don't know if I have an left. I am tired of the denial.
I guess I am really looking for a place to let off some steam tonight..
I am pretty angry, and disgusted.. It was my oldest sons birthday today,
and he came over for his birthday supper. My husband did make it through that, which I was grateful for. It was nice, and my son left.
Our normal weekend consists of my husband going to the BAR on Friday night, because NOTHING is as IMPORTANT as that stupid BAR!! But then,
our normal Saturday is him sleeping late, and I ususally do too, but then he usually does nothing all day, and sometimes sleeps, but normally he either then goes back to sleep very early, or if we are doing something, which I always try to plan for, because he works long hours all week long, and we don't do anything, or see much of eachother all week long, then he normally just sleeps really long, and lays around all day, and evening, making everyone wait on him. That is also very normal. He has been spending alot of time going out on Friday and Saturday night, both nights. It used to always be, one or the other. But this has been going on now for a while.
I make plans, and by the time it's time for us to go, or whatever, I am either angry at him, or know that he doesn't want to go with me wherever I had planned, so he ends up in the Bar again on Saturday night. It has really gotten out of control.
He is just SO lazy. He never does anything around this house at all. He lays and sleeps, like tonight. I am really angry tonight. I told him that we were going to do something, and that he better not go to sleep. I know that if he were going to the Bar again tonight, he would be WIDE awake, ( even if he was dead tired!!)... It is making me sick to even look at him. That's not a good way to feel about your husband.
He is also becoming more, and more angrier, and much more mean during the week, than he has ever been. He is becoming more difficult to live with during the week. I am often afraid of him, and I know the kids are too. He is very
explosive. He has also become more, and more controlling, not wanting me to do anything, or go anywhere with my friends. This is not the way our marriage has been over the years, until the last maybe year or so. I knwo that I put my family through alot, when I was using, but I'm in recovery, my friends are from recovery groups, and I attend christian recovery as well.
He is very threatened. About 2 weeks ago, I went out with 4 girls, after a meeting, to a little restuant,. I called him, and told him I was doing that,,
I had supper ready for him so when he came home from work, he could just eat, and go to bed. He knows all but 1 of the girls, and knows they are from my church group, and he has even been to my group.. He got just angry,
and acted just like a child. He began to call my cell phone, and called it , and called, and called while I ws out. In a period of about 15 minutes, he called 5 times. Plus, I believe he had my son call too. It was crazy, and I was extremely embarrased. Seee, it's ok for him to sit int he Bar every weekend,
but I can't go out and grab something to eat with a couple of girls. But this is his out of control behavior. My friends kept telling me to turn off my phone, but I couldn't, because I know what he is like to live with. He would have been very mean. I was afraid. It's crazy.
I just can't take this life anymore. I have 3 kids left at home, and my recovery to take care of. I am on suboxone now, but I am in the process of tapering off now. I am moving down, and want to be off.. This craziness isn't helping matters. It's only going to make everything more difficult when I am off, and ya know, I don't need a practicing alcoholic in my house, when I am finally off. This is hard enough. I am in a 12 stpe program, and do attend many meetings, and also groups. Even though this is all very disgusting to me, and I am so tired of it all, I do love him.. But his active drinking has gone on and off through out the 18 years of our marriage.. The last time he stopped, it took something very drastic, and then he just stopped, never got any help, and won't admit he's an alcoholic.
The drinking is getting so out of control, he is drinking more alcohol than ever. He is a huge binger.
Thanks for listening. I just really needed to complain.
Love and Prayers,
Becky
I know thise disease well, and recovery, because I am in recovery. I am a drug addict, clean of illegal drugs since 4/6/05. But when it comes to my husband, and his alcoholism, I feel lost, and very fearful. Not that I didn't feel that way about myself, I did, but these are different feelings. I'm also angry, and tired of this. I am running out of patience. I really don't know if I have an left. I am tired of the denial.
I guess I am really looking for a place to let off some steam tonight..
I am pretty angry, and disgusted.. It was my oldest sons birthday today,
and he came over for his birthday supper. My husband did make it through that, which I was grateful for. It was nice, and my son left.
Our normal weekend consists of my husband going to the BAR on Friday night, because NOTHING is as IMPORTANT as that stupid BAR!! But then,
our normal Saturday is him sleeping late, and I ususally do too, but then he usually does nothing all day, and sometimes sleeps, but normally he either then goes back to sleep very early, or if we are doing something, which I always try to plan for, because he works long hours all week long, and we don't do anything, or see much of eachother all week long, then he normally just sleeps really long, and lays around all day, and evening, making everyone wait on him. That is also very normal. He has been spending alot of time going out on Friday and Saturday night, both nights. It used to always be, one or the other. But this has been going on now for a while.
I make plans, and by the time it's time for us to go, or whatever, I am either angry at him, or know that he doesn't want to go with me wherever I had planned, so he ends up in the Bar again on Saturday night. It has really gotten out of control.
He is just SO lazy. He never does anything around this house at all. He lays and sleeps, like tonight. I am really angry tonight. I told him that we were going to do something, and that he better not go to sleep. I know that if he were going to the Bar again tonight, he would be WIDE awake, ( even if he was dead tired!!)... It is making me sick to even look at him. That's not a good way to feel about your husband.
He is also becoming more, and more angrier, and much more mean during the week, than he has ever been. He is becoming more difficult to live with during the week. I am often afraid of him, and I know the kids are too. He is very
explosive. He has also become more, and more controlling, not wanting me to do anything, or go anywhere with my friends. This is not the way our marriage has been over the years, until the last maybe year or so. I knwo that I put my family through alot, when I was using, but I'm in recovery, my friends are from recovery groups, and I attend christian recovery as well.
He is very threatened. About 2 weeks ago, I went out with 4 girls, after a meeting, to a little restuant,. I called him, and told him I was doing that,,
I had supper ready for him so when he came home from work, he could just eat, and go to bed. He knows all but 1 of the girls, and knows they are from my church group, and he has even been to my group.. He got just angry,
and acted just like a child. He began to call my cell phone, and called it , and called, and called while I ws out. In a period of about 15 minutes, he called 5 times. Plus, I believe he had my son call too. It was crazy, and I was extremely embarrased. Seee, it's ok for him to sit int he Bar every weekend,
but I can't go out and grab something to eat with a couple of girls. But this is his out of control behavior. My friends kept telling me to turn off my phone, but I couldn't, because I know what he is like to live with. He would have been very mean. I was afraid. It's crazy.
I just can't take this life anymore. I have 3 kids left at home, and my recovery to take care of. I am on suboxone now, but I am in the process of tapering off now. I am moving down, and want to be off.. This craziness isn't helping matters. It's only going to make everything more difficult when I am off, and ya know, I don't need a practicing alcoholic in my house, when I am finally off. This is hard enough. I am in a 12 stpe program, and do attend many meetings, and also groups. Even though this is all very disgusting to me, and I am so tired of it all, I do love him.. But his active drinking has gone on and off through out the 18 years of our marriage.. The last time he stopped, it took something very drastic, and then he just stopped, never got any help, and won't admit he's an alcoholic.
The drinking is getting so out of control, he is drinking more alcohol than ever. He is a huge binger.
Thanks for listening. I just really needed to complain.
Love and Prayers,
Becky
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Hi Becky, Glad you got a lot of the anger and frustration out. It helps to type it out where you know people understand and care.
You have a lot of help in your life with your meetings. so guess I really cannot make any suggestions, but glad you are here! Are you thinking you may have to leave for your recovery? Your recovery comes first as you know, not a fun place living with an A.
Looked like I am the only one still up tonight, that is tricky too, as by the time I type this 2 people could have replyed (SMILE)
Really just wanted to give ((BIG HUGS))
You have a lot of help in your life with your meetings. so guess I really cannot make any suggestions, but glad you are here! Are you thinking you may have to leave for your recovery? Your recovery comes first as you know, not a fun place living with an A.
Looked like I am the only one still up tonight, that is tricky too, as by the time I type this 2 people could have replyed (SMILE)
Really just wanted to give ((BIG HUGS))
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
Alcoholism is progressive - even with a binger. The following threw up some major red flags for me:
No one should live in fear! especially when it is from a family member that they live with on a daily basis!
You do have choices angelgirl, even if you don't like what the choices are! It's really just up to you.
Sending you hugs tonight.
He is also becoming more, and more angrier, and much more mean during the week, than he has ever been. He is becoming more difficult to live with during the week. I am often afraid of him, and I know the kids are too. He is very
explosive. He has also become more, and more controlling, not wanting me to do anything, or go anywhere with my friends.
explosive. He has also become more, and more controlling, not wanting me to do anything, or go anywhere with my friends.
You do have choices angelgirl, even if you don't like what the choices are! It's really just up to you.
Sending you hugs tonight.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
It is making me sick to even look at him.
Even though this is all very disgusting to me, and I am so tired of it all, I do love him.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Becky - Hi and welcome back hun. Congratulations on your sobriety and recovery. (((((((((hugs)))))))))))) I was married for 22 years to a severe alcoholic and its sooooo progressive. Your story gave me chills down my spine. Tell me something sweetie...When you said your wedding vows...you know? The "I do" part? I bet you didn't mean that you would "do it all"....did you? I didn't either..keep working your program and things will change when they change. You are taking inventory and that's apparent. This is the phase when you are almost ready to make a decision in your life that will move mountains. Stay the course and forge ahead. Stay sober in your recovery so you can think clearly....that way you won't have any regrets. I hope things improve for you soon. I have no doubt that they will improve because I can hear it in your words that you won't have it any other way. I commend you for your strength. You are in my prayers tonight hun.
Janit
Janit
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