JessicaNAJ

I got a call last night at 4:30 a.m. I was half asleep and answered it b/c I figured it had to be important if some was calling at that time.

It was G. He got arrested for theft (frabricated some bs story about what happened), told me he could get out for $100. I told him I didn't have it. And tried my damnedest to go back to sleep.

So he went to court today, got a $1000 at 10% or an OR bond with EMU (Electronic Monitoring). In order for him to qualify for EMU he'd have to be living somewhere that has a landline phone. I thought for sure he'd call me tonight, but he didn't and I'm so glad b/c that saved me from having to tell him that it was not an option.

I'm still debating how to tell my son....he thinks his dad will be here to take him around for Halloween. I meant to call his counselor today, but I was so busy with work I forgot.

Anyway...drama....

TexasGirl

Drama always follows them around, doesn't it? Glad you didn't have to get too caught up in it. Take care, Jess.
TG

CatsTail

Good for you for saying no.

Ngaire

cwohio

glad this was you to G

denny57

You're doing great, Jess. I'm sure your son will have a great time on Halloween, even if he did hope his dad would be there.

((()))

FriendofBill

Give the drama to his Mama....

Good going....and yes, Halloween, our most favorite holiday. We'd all dress up together and go out....

this year is the 4th year in a row the drunk hasnt shown up.

Acceptance.....is the answer. Hang in there.

Cynay

Great recovery hon.. Im proud of you

mallowcup

I would discuss the topic generally. I would talk to your kids about the disease of alcoholism. I would talk about the behaviors and disappointments that come with it. I wouldn't use words like drunk, I would use words like addiction and intoxication. I would get the kids heads foing in a healthy and accurate direction. I would tell them he won't be coming for Halloween and there may be other times of disappointment. Knowing what you know before you ever sit the kids down, I would end the conversation by saying, "You know what, I know you are disappointed but I was thinking it might be funto have a Halloween sleep over party". Parents can buffer and diffuse damage. I always tried to make the outcome better for the kids instead of worse.

JessicaNAJ

Thank you all for your support. I wish I remembered what my lightbulb moment was so I could share it with you. I feel so free and ... like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder. He is not my resposibility. If he wants to through his life away, that's his choice. I choose not to allow myself and my kids to do the same.

Life is so much better these days.....

BohemiMamaof3

I think with kids, keep it honest and keep it simple. You sound like you are making some really good decisions for you and your family. :-)

JessicaNAJ

I did it...I simply told them we were going to Grandma's on Halloween. My son stated/questioned..he's not coming. I told him there was a very very very slim chance that he'd make it. He figured it out from that little bit of information, and seemed to be ok. My daughter was totally ok once she realized she could get more candy in Grandma's neighborhood.

mallowcup

You happen to be in the unique psoition of creating traditions your kids can count on. Going to grandmas for Halloween being one of the first. Make it fun. Are you dressing up mom? Why not?