It's not just about not enabling with money. The seemingly insignificant stuff matter
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It's not just about not enabling with money. The seemingly insignificant stuff matter
One of the first rules of not enabling is don' t give the alcoholic or addict money. True and effective at times. This is a big one. But that does not mean other forms of helping are not enabling no matter how insignificant they seem.
Saw a parent enable the alcoholic with money AND let the A use their house for storage, a crash pad and mail drop. After the parent passed and house sold the A purposely failed to do a change of address counting on the new owner to set aside their mail for months in order to keep that address for car insurance reasons. They obviously don't want to that. Now they are asking others to speak to neighbors they had little or no contact and have mail sent there. Not going to happen either. Should note the purposely slowed down the sale of the parent house for years with one excuse after another trying to avoid a change of address, paying for storage and be able to party/drink with their friends in the area losing a local crash pad.
But now the A is complaing about all three and is really unpleasantly surprised about not being able to keep the mail going there. And not even have paid for a year of storage yet they are complaing bitterly. And this from a A who shares an apartment costs with their gf. They also will wind up with close to 6 figures of money when the parents estate is settled. And have had access to other inheritance.
Saw a parent enable the alcoholic with money AND let the A use their house for storage, a crash pad and mail drop. After the parent passed and house sold the A purposely failed to do a change of address counting on the new owner to set aside their mail for months in order to keep that address for car insurance reasons. They obviously don't want to that. Now they are asking others to speak to neighbors they had little or no contact and have mail sent there. Not going to happen either. Should note the purposely slowed down the sale of the parent house for years with one excuse after another trying to avoid a change of address, paying for storage and be able to party/drink with their friends in the area losing a local crash pad.
But now the A is complaing about all three and is really unpleasantly surprised about not being able to keep the mail going there. And not even have paid for a year of storage yet they are complaing bitterly. And this from a A who shares an apartment costs with their gf. They also will wind up with close to 6 figures of money when the parents estate is settled. And have had access to other inheritance.
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