FreeBird09

Wow, what a post. It made me cry. I am crying because I am finally realizing that I can't help my AXBF (who also uses meds to excess) and walking away is the best for him. (and for me) Very painful.

Flame

Those are exactly what I needed as a friend of someone who is starting over again today. Just to pray he finds what he needs in himself to keep going and stay clean.

Thank you.

HurtingHeart27

WOW this is deep and exactly what I needed to read in order to realize that I need to let me husband fall. I am always holding him back from falling but he needs to do it. I just pray that he doesnt fall into tragedy.

sugah13

Hello,
This is my very first post here! Looking desperately for support to help with the guilt and pain I am experiencing due to my adult son's drug addiction.
Oh my goodness, what a beautiful poem! Very enlightening but like another poster stated, I am so afraid that letting my son fall will also lead to devastating tragedy!
I have such a strong maternal instinct to help him............my heart is breaking and the stress is destroying me!

Prospero

My son, 27, is addicted to methadone and oxycontin. I hit my own bottom at about 6 PM tonight when I came home from a shopping trip and saw him lying on the couch, inert, with his head back and his mouth open. I tried to rouse him, and when he didn't respond I called 911, pulled him down on the floor and followed CPR directions until the fire department arrived. He had a pulse but wasn't breathing on his own, but they put a tube in and gave him air until the paramedics arrived. They gave him Narcon and got him breathing, and took him to the hospital in an ambulance.

If I hadn't come in when I did, he would be dead by now.

This wasn't the first time: that was six months ago. He came home after that one, and after two months checked in to a residential rehab program, where he stayed for six weeks. Within a week he was using again, and went back into rehab, where he spent another six weeks. He has been home for about two weeks, and had, I'm pretty sure, been clean for two months, the longest time in several years.

Last night, he and I had an argument, and he went out afterward for several hours. I didn't see him this morning. The next time I saw him, he was OD'd on the couch.

I'm not looking for answers. This is my first post here, and it has helped just putting some of this into words. His mother and I know about enabling, and I'm an alcoholic who's been sober since 1986. I'm out of my depth with methadone. You never know when the OD will hit you. He had lunch spread out on the table in front of him, and a new game running on the TV. I don't know what he thought he was doing, but he wasn't expecting to die.

caileesnana

Welcome to SR. go to the "friends and family of substance abusers". There are lots of "us" there!

MyJoey

This should be moved, but I didn't know where to put it.
What Codependents Do

My name's Jane. I'm a codependent. And this is what codependents do.

You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat myself better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is everyone else’s needs and how to go about fulfilling them. Within five minutes of meeting you, I will be offering you help.

My own feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my enabling that I have no empathy for myself.

My behavior cannot and will not change until I make a decision to stop enabling and then follow it up with a plan of action to practice acceptance, self-compassion and self-care.

And until I make that decision, I will help again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am a codependent. And that's what codependents do.

Muf

:ghug3 I'm a mother of 2 addicts,I had to let go, that was so hard but I knew i had to do it,they both hit there bottom and are now clean and sober,there is so much they haft to learn,now that they are clean,lots of ups and downs,my oldest used for about 7 years,my youngest 10 years.They relapsed many times before the stayed clean
It take time to stay clean ,my youngest was in a recovery house for 1 year before he went on his own my oldest too he is now married with a little girl. So far so good for both
Muf

Seamstress

Okay, so now that I've stopped crying because it's my son who could have written this; I know what we must do. It KILLS me, but I will quit and let him fall. I'll worry and wonder every night, but if that's what it takes, i'll do it

SerenityGirl

(((Seamstress)) I know its extremely hard not to worry, I ask God frequently to look after my son, to keep him safe and I put him in God's hands That helps me to let go.