upanddownjj

Yesterday I had to take my exbf (stroke-victim) grocery shopping..I actually felt better after getting myself out of bed.. I even woke up feeling better today (my Shrink called & has a Cancellation for me tomorrow)..I got myself out and across to the beach with the dog this am..(Oh well hi tide - not much of a beach - but I went)..gave dog a bath with hose)..and now I'm back here...I think I'm getting addicted to SR, but It is so nice to read everyone's posts and learn that I am not alone with my Dual Diagnosis...I am ashamed to talk about it at AA, and my Dr's support group is full of pple not in recovery, who need to be (excuse my judgement)
I have the same overwhelming load as I did yesterday, but somehow I am able to not dwell on it..I guess it is because I have hope - the Dr. is back - usually see him weekly (free medical) and he's been away for a month.
My brain chemistry may also be better...
But it just might be that I felt well long enuf this am to get my butt out of the house in the sunshine...
I think I would do a lot better if I could have that window of opportunity every day..waking up positive & staying there long enuf to get going....
Glad you are all here !!

xoxo Janni

ranae1221

glad you are feeling better today!

upanddownjj

Thought I'd try it out on my own post..Just to see how it looks..
How do you folks get those pretty pictures on there??..I'm not very good with computer technology...I'm actually stuck in the middle of upgrading my anti-virus..waiting for the techies to get back to me

OK - Enter & see what it looks like

Live

If you can remember these great days, even for a few moments, during the bad ones, they help us to remember that things change.
hugs,
live

upanddownjj

Thanks Live - The whole day hasn't been too bad !!

Playing with this sig thing again..didn't mean it to be so




HUGE

Janni

upanddownjj

I'm back in the land of the POSITIVE..Went to my Home Group this am and a good friend took her cake..lots of tears & love..a visitor fm Vallarta that I met when I was down there twice this winter..What a small AA world.

I did a little self care, nails done & some new underwear,,Ha ha- sorry guys..but a necessity...

The old friend fm high school (guy) called and we'll meet at the place he took me to for free fun poker last Mon & I was able to explain that I hoped he didn't get the wrong idea..I wasn't looking for anything more than friendship..(he tried to hold my hand & kiss me - yuck- do I still have issues YES!)..This is the first time I've gone out for fun in SEVEN years - except for AA meetings and Conventions...So finally - I am develponing some balance in my life - when my mental health is balanced.

I have so much shame around people seeing me when I am depressed..No one could believe it when I crashed...YOU - the most confident and capable and happy person we know ???...Unless I can be like that..I don't like to go anywhere but meetings..even then - I didn't want to take my 4 yr cake - I had NO Support fm my home group at that time - they just thought I was NUTS...no - I was ill.....
Anyway - Have a great home group now and just took my seven yr cake 2 weeks ago - they know I have another illness...and they support me...but I still try to hide it..ha ha..
Wow - am I ever typing alot...must need to make up for the time I've been down...Thanks everyone for being here..I'm learning so much and staring to feel like I belong...

Janni

BSPGirl

Aw I'm glad you feel better.

Marte

historyteach

I'm glad you're feeling so much better, Janni.
Remember to continue to take care of yourself. ANd check out the link on the post about resilience. I found it helpful.

Shalom!