CatsTail

I had to laugh at myself today. It was because I work with ill people some who are extremely manipulative and needy. The funny thing is, there I can see the manipulations coming a mile away and find it very easy to rise above them and not get hooked.

But boy do I get hooked in by the manipulations in a relationship.

As I;'m standing back right now and looking with my eyes open I see how truly insidious and cunning manipulation can be. How intricate the twists and turns are, how crazy making it all is.

Ngaire

robina

The disease certainly sucks us in.

megamysterioso

It is "crazy making" and I like that term! It breeds nothing but drama really and addicts are master manipulators, but they are definitely not the only ones.

CatsTail

I'm sitting here reading an article about abuse and it says manipulation is a form of abuse.

Ngaire

ICU

So true. When our emotions aren't involved or we have nothing invested with someone else, it's soooo much easier to see because we are more detached (hmmm...there's that word again).

CatsTail

For some bizarre reason after all the reading I've done on co-dependency and all kinds of abuse it's like a light has suddenly gone on. Must be those relationship goggles came off.

Still haven't spoken. I'm doing well with it. , Normally I'd be really freaked. I've been really positively busy with a new job so it's keeping me pretty occupied.

Thursday after work my son and leave for four days to Quebec city for his 13th birthday.

I've been to 6 meetings in the last five days which has been fun.

Ngaire
Ngaire

megamysterioso

Sounds like you've had a very serious AHA moment there Ngaire and those are healthy IMO. Have a great trip on Thursday with your son!! I'm taking a trip on Thursday as well- going back to my hometown for the first time since Christmas to spend time with my family. Here's to us fellow traveler!!!

upanddownjj

I just don't have relationships anymore !!!!

ICU

I'm with you Upanddown!!! Now just my dogs and cats benefit from my codie tendencies....

CatsTail

Well with the e-mail he sent me Sunday night saying in the subject line "Now I'm Crying." then the e-mail was blank. After he freaked out Thursday morning and said everyone uses him and takes advantage of him and we can all go f-ourselves.....and then hung up. So I didn't respond to the e-mail because I figured if I did it was just hooking back into the same old thing and I was being co-dependent. So I don't really know what is the healthy response but for now there is no response.

Ngaire

CatsTail

Because iF i RESPOND IT GETS INTO THE SAME ROUND AND ROUND CIRCLE WITH NO CHANGE.

NGAIRE

ICU

Sometimes 'no response' is the healthy response!!

megamysterioso

I agree with you completely ICU and ngaire- you're right. To respond would be the equivalent of you pushing the merry-go-round IMO. You're doing great!