stjimmy

Hi. I'm not quite sure where to begin. I know that I have been an alcoholic for going on about 10 years now. I am 33 with 2 and 3 year old beautiful boys. I have been married for 7 years and with my wife for almost 16.....yeah that means together since we were 17. I know why I drink. I know how it began and how it got to this point. That is another topic for another show. My problem is that I am a very functional alcoholic. I never drink in the morning or afternoon. It's always after the kids have gone to bed. I go to work, do a good job at work, make a very good wage, come home, help with the daily chores, put the kids to bed, and off to the nightly ritual. My alcoholism really doesnt affect my family. That is not denial speaking. Aside from my health, my family does not suffer from my problem. I never drink until passing out (kind of hard to do that with coors light). I do not abuse my wife and/or kids. I am a very mellow drunk. I just know that if i dont stop, i wont be around to see 40. If anyone can give me any advice on where to start i would appreciate it. I have tried. I've gone a week without drinking and feel like i deserve some sort of trophy in the mail. Then....the weekend rolls around and i'm right where i left off. I know there are many out there in my shoes and I'd love to hear from you.

STJ

best

Welcome Jimmy.

Your above statement.... I think it would read truer if you add in the word...
greatly.

My alcoholism really doesn't affect my family...Greatly

My family does not suffer..greatly ..from my problem.

Now what to do about it? AA meetings would be a good place for collecting support and how to info.
Look about on the different forums here and read the posts at the top of the listing that say "sticky" beside them. I am sure you will find much info there as well.


You are making a wise choice. Stopping before things become a bigger problem is always a wise choice.

fuster

STJimmy: San Jose has a boatload of AA meetings. Shop around, go to a bunch. That is where you start. Start by telling them what you said here. Listen to what the people with long term sobriety say. You may hear things you don't like, you will likely hear things that will give you hope that you can stop and stay stopped, if you follow the Program.

Thanks for checking in.

kali ma

Hi. Welcome to SR. I think that SR is a good place to start. Read some posts, and I'm sure you will run into some people who have a lot in common with you. Good for you for posting. It is the first step in the right direction. I have never been to AA, but I have read tons of books that have helped me out. If you are a functional alcoholic, I would suggest "Drinking: A Love Story." TONS of parts in it rang true for me, so maybe it would for you too. That is just about all of the advice I can give. Stay strong, and keep posting. We are all here for you.

GeorgiaPeach

Welcome to SR! I can either guess that your name is Jimmy or you like Greenday or both, lol! I agree with Best, you don't realize what your family is going through or feeling just because you don't pass out or abuse them. What about the money or not spending that ALONE time with your wife? My AH use to drink before he started the pills and even though he never passed out, when the kids went to bed we could have spent time together but he was watching TV and drinking and relaxing. I knew that he wasn't drinking a lot but it was more than I wanted him to drink. Have yuo asked your wife if your drinking bothers her or how she feels about it? Do you have "quality time" with all members of your family? What happens on the weekends? The reward for quitting is your health and your family and your sobriety and a clear mind! Maybe you make good money but could you do better and don't even realize it? Find out how your family really feels about your drinking!

GP

salamander

Hi Jimmy,

I cant claim credit for this, i read it on another site, but it helped me. (My situation is very much like yours in that i am a highly functioning alcoholic) Its about working the first step. All I did was answer these questions and then keep it for future reference. I go back and look at it when i start to think maybe i really dont have a problem.

What happened the last time i took a drink?

What fear did this incidence create?

What guilt did this create?

What harm have i caused myself?

What harm have i done to other people?

What financial damage has my drinking created?

What psychological damage has my drinking created?

How has drinking damaged my relationships?

What mental damage has drinking caused?

How has drinking affected my work?

How has drinking affected my self esteem?

After i answered these questions i realized that i wasnt as highly functioning as i thought i was. Reading my answers gave me incentive to stop. I am 16 days sober and still working at it. Hope this helps some.

hector

(jimmy). Welcome to SR.

You're what some refer to as a high-bottom drunk.... maybe.... you say you're 33 and won't live to see 40 unless you change? You "just know"?

OK, so stop drinking. AA can help. You don't have to be a low-bottom drunk in a trenchcoat drinking rotgut out of a paper bag in an alley. Step One says "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." Your sharing contains the part before the dash. Your sharing denies the part after the dash, ALMOST. You think you'll be dead in seven years or less. Sounds unmanageable to me. Also sounds like you're taking your addiction (although you're not using that word yet) very seriously. Good. SR can help. AA can help. Other methods like reading, counselling, other programs can help. But unless you really want to stop drinking, you won't.

I've been sober over 17 1/2 years. Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.