Hope

I used to get lots of feedback and responses to my posts but now many of my posts barely receive any responses. I probably shouldn't feel this way and I've actually felt like that for a while but I just never said anything. Now, I even feel stupid for mentioning this but I guess I just have to be honest about the way I'm feeling no matter how stupid it makes me feel. I'm sorry.

CarolD

I think you are an important member here.

NYCGirl

I'm new here so i spend most of my time reading I guess somethings are kinda "old news" I find if I read back in the post I get alot of answers without having to ask a lot of question.

Sometimes it is hard to follow the threads, and some topics just seem to take off. I don't think you should take it personally. I think too sometimes it just depends on who's on when you post, the posts seem to drop down fast.

I prefer the Alcholic Forum myself it is more focused on what I need.
Hope you can get comfortable.

lulu70

Don't let it worry you, Cheryl. We all still love you. I feel that way quite often. Actually have since I got here. I just have to remember that just because I am not getting replies doesn't mean that people aren't reading and that I don't matter. We are all important. Try making your focus more about helping others, and it will definitely help. (Not that you aren't helping others, but sometimes it helps me to keep asking myself, "How can I help someone else today?" Then I start to care a little bit less about what others think of me.

Again, we all love you and we need you here!

Jupiter2

Hi Cheryl,

I understand how you are feeling. I often read your posts but don't reply. This doesn't mean I don't care (and I am sure this applies to others who read and don't reply as well). I get a lot out of watching you grow in recovery. I have to remind myself that it might be more helpful if I post more responses to you and others on SR and not stay in the background. I think it is great you are bringing this up.

Jup.

Anna

You know Cheryl, when I first came here, I headed to the Women's Forum almost right away. I just felt most comfortable there. It wasn't nearly as busy as Newcomers but if I posted something I'd get a few replies. The thing was, they were amazing replies and I found one or two women who were so wise and generous and I learned so much from them. It's really not about the amount of replies, but what you make out of the replies. There are so many people here at SR, it's so easy to miss a post or just not have time to reply to all the posts you'd like to reply to. I'm sorry you feel neglected, but you are a very valuable member and I hope you keep posting.

aasharon90

Hi Cheryl.

Sharon and alcoholic here.

Glad u shared how u were feeling. I think we all in someway or another wish and want more attention. I know i do. It's a me thing. Like look at me or read my post or talk to me or message me...IM IMPORTANT. I WANT AND NEED ALL UR ATTENTION. Its like if i could, but i wont, i could and would suck every ounce of attention out of each of u to satisy my own selfish needs. But like i promised I wont.....i love each of u just as much even tho i have never met u personally or seen u. I do know, however, u r here for me in spirit.

I heard early on if u didnt get the attention or love from those near to u at an early age then u seek it elsewhere and possibly in all the wrong places. In which i been there done that all my life.

Today im trying to love me, and to remember I only have to please One other Person Whom is very important in my life...and that Person is my Higher Power.

When i share here, i share my own honest experiences, strengths and hope with each of u. I know when i share i may not please everyone, just like going to a regular AA meeting...not everyone will be interested in what i say, so u take what u want and leave the rest.

So, for me, im here to do what im called to do and if u r kind to me by reponding then im ever so greatful. If not..then its not my problem. Because we r not all on the same page in recovery. We r going thru different trails in our lives, but trying to deal with each of them the best way we know how by following the Steps provided to us in recovery.

Anyway....i am very grateful for this forum and for u people. It is by ur own sharing and postings that keeps me on the right path.

Soooo thank u for being here for me and allowing me to share.

best

Cheryl

How I see things around here is this...
New people get replies because of immediate needs and as their recovery grows, people see how well they are doing and don't see the immediacy as in the beginning.
I see many of your posts and see that people replied with great info. Seeing that you have been given good info, I may or may not reply. Less posts seen by you but by me I am seeing your growth and know you are in good hands.

My posts to others... all others... I try to use my time as I see the needs of others. There are maybe 100 people on here that I would like to talk with daily and reply to daily...I just don't have the time to do so.

I feel that most people here may do the same as me... when we see that a good answer is given, we use our time to help another.

You are doing great in your recovery and I know that you will always get good advice. Judge the advice given, not the post counts.

PillPopper

I have read a lot of your posts and I don't reply. I have learned a lot from you and many others - but never respond to their posts. But, have you ever looked at how many people actually view your posts? We have a lot of "visitors" here that for whatever their reasons have not joined, but come here to read posts. It would be a loss if you left or felt that your posts didn't matter because they do. I just wanted to say hello and I hope you are having a good day

aloneagainor

Well Hope
(two beautiful words pairing nicely)
Much interest is drawn to the newcomers here, to the most urgent concerns, and also to the drama.
I consider this attraction human nature.
But for stability, endurance, hope, examples of working recovery, those who have been around for awhile and have much to offer often, I've noticed, write more on other people's threads, than others write on theirs. Newcomers and people with serious issues, and also drama seekers, don't contribute much to other threads. But those who have been here awhile have more time to have something to contribute to others. It's a form of giving, of community involvement, I think. "We can only keep what we have by giving it away." It's good policy. So, keep on contributing what you have to offer.

As an aside, the thread about happiness you started today, interjected that idea in my head early on, providing me wonderful opportunity to convey something to that continuing idea...I thank you for starting that theme!

Aristo

Hello,

I am brand new here - and have been browsing all the threads and posts. There are so many, it's a bit overwhelming to be honest.

I guess we are all here for the same reason -

Chin up - The power of the collective thoughts and prayers will guide and help you !

Have a brilliant day.

Aristo

Lollipop

I, like Pillpopper, have read many of your posts and gained insight from them, even in just the short time I have been here, I may not respond but I think of you. You are important here!!!! Definately not overlooked!!!!
Liss

ru4outoo

I too feel that way but I know that it is just me, being sober has brought out the shyness in me so I dont post much at all. But I do alot of reading and I do read your posts and you have helped me alot.

JOY1115

Great replies! This was shared with me a while back.....

Continue to let your light shine, you never know when it may be the light at the end of someone elses tunnel.

Circle

I haven’t been here long. But I used to work for another website like this one. And what I noticed is sometimes people are so caught up in there own problems or lives that they don’t have time or energy to reply. Other times it’s hard to know what to say or how to say it. Do you ever see yourself reading someone posting and not responding because you simply don’t know how to respond? I don’t think it’s an indicator that people don’t care about you. It’s simply that sometimes there are no words. Or certain things get over-looked.

FarTooMuch

Hi Hope! I just want to say Hi I haven't been around long...and right now I'm doing much more reading than responding.

I'm sorry your feeling a little left out. I feel like that somedays too (not here...but in life in general)

I'm enjoying this thread and reading peoples responses. Thank you for starting it. It's apparent you have MANY people who know and care about you here.

dorothy0143

I thought I'd respond to u, cause I just posted and have had no replies either. HOPE SEEMS ON THE MENU HERE. From what i have read these folks know what they r talking about. I guess once the new wears off we will learn the ropes. Prayers to u. Hope 4 ALL.

Live

Hope, I had noticed how hard you were working at helping others, reaching out and yes, needing contact and support yourself. I could see that. And I apologize for myself personally because I did see it.

Part of it is, I don't really know you so do not know how to respond. There are several people here like that...that I would like to go and search their posts to get to know them first.....but I don't have the time or energy.

You have been incredibly supportive of me and I thank you very much.
I am glad you were honest.
hugs,
live

c'est la vie

There is some great insight here as to why some people who are doing well at recovery don't get so many answers. The newcomers don't feel "qualified" to respond, "oldtimers" feel like you're doing well and can't add more to exsisting responses, sometimes it's just drop dead boring here with no one logged on, and sometimes it's so busy that posts get overlooked.

People like you and me who are not newcomers and not good solid sober people (I can't remember how much time you have but if I remember correctly you're still fairly new to this) get stuck in the uncomfortable middle. You and I need help, desperately on some days, but we're seen as people who are doing fine and so we don't get the barrage of help responses we need at that time.

I completely agree that it's far more important to focus on the quality and not the quantity, although I know it's hard to do sometimes. I mean, aren't we all attention seeking melodramatic alcoholics? lol

BSPGirl

Aw I notice you!