new here- any advice?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: down south
Posts: 58
new here- any advice?
I am glad to have found this site today and read all your encouraging words. I dont know if I am in the right forum here or not- I am worried about my boyfriend and I but have not told anyone. We have been smoking crack for between one and 3 nights a week- from about 9 or 10 pm till 5 or 6 am then I sleep all day pretty much. I can do without it- I did a residency out of town for 4 months and didnt miss it a bit. He cant seem to do without it.We have promised eachother lots of times that we wouldnt do it anymore but we do anyway. If its in the house I do it- if not I don't- and he is my only connection with smoking it. I am pretty isolated here and broke-- we live in a small town in the middle of Mexico and gossip travels as fast as you say something and I am a private person so I dont really want to go to a meeting here but I am feeling very alone and scared that I eventually will get in to the drugs deeply too- or maybe I am already?. As it is I have a hard time working. I just dont know what to do- ask him to leave? Sleep in a seperate room? No matter what we agree on doing when we promise to have clean days and get on with things we never make it to them. We have been together 6 years- the past 2 have been involving crack. Maybe this is long enough 
Trying to do the right thing.
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Oh sweetheart, you sound like you DEFINATLY need to get some help. that sounds like a nasty habit. done that one too
crack nearly finished me off.In everyway you could imagine....!
so PLEASE PLEASE try and find a street agency in a large town away from were you live.
IF you dont seek help your worst nightmares could come true....
keep posting if you can . anything to get you out
I'll be hoping for you.......Good Luck...!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Originally Posted by lotustea
I am worried about my boyfriend and I but have not told anyone. We have been smoking crack...
You are in the right place. Sincerely good people here, filled with amazingly helpful insights to help guide you in a positive direction.
You write you're worried about your boyfriend, followed by WE have been smoking crack. So I'm concerned about YOU. YOU are here asking for help, he isn't, in fact he's apparently a big source of the problem for you. I now hope you think about what YOU are going to do, not focus primarily on him. That you've been living with him for six years is a long time, making change all the more difficult, I understand, I really really do. But it's not too late. You're not married right, so this gives you a LOT more options to do what's necessary to do now, to reclaim your own life and move in the direction you want to go. You know you're not stuck in the situation you're in. Could be better with some changes....Be careful to not let your FEARS rule you. They'll only suppress you. Wish you courage to take a look at where you are, where you're heading, and where you want to be. I'd be curious to hear what you're thinking here...
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Hi -
Welcome to SR. You have found a great place and there are so many people here with wisdom. I am confused because you wrote that you are in Mexico but then listed your location as Charlotte, NC. If you ever are in Charlotte I'd be glad to help you get in touch with some of the local meetings. There are some excellent ones here - NA, Naranon, AA, and Alanon. I've found that by opening up and beginning to talk about the problems/issues that you will eventually sort your way through it all. I say good for you for beginning to ask the questions. There is already a lot of wisdom in the responses that you have already received. Focus on you and ask the questions that will help you become clear about where you are and what is going on with you. Keep in touch! Donna
Welcome to SR. You have found a great place and there are so many people here with wisdom. I am confused because you wrote that you are in Mexico but then listed your location as Charlotte, NC. If you ever are in Charlotte I'd be glad to help you get in touch with some of the local meetings. There are some excellent ones here - NA, Naranon, AA, and Alanon. I've found that by opening up and beginning to talk about the problems/issues that you will eventually sort your way through it all. I say good for you for beginning to ask the questions. There is already a lot of wisdom in the responses that you have already received. Focus on you and ask the questions that will help you become clear about where you are and what is going on with you. Keep in touch! Donna
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Posts: 2,274
Yes, this sounds like long enough to me. You will need to decide whether you have a problem and want to do anything about it. If you decide to get clean and your boyfriend does not, this will not work. He will get you high again. You may need to leave this guy to save your own life. Try going to NA. This meetings are a life-saver. Good luck to you.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
That is a real tough situation. Let me share some of my ESH with you that is all that any of us can really offer. My name is Vic and I am an addict. It used to bug the hell out of me to say that, but today, hum I might even be a little proud to be an addict 
Back in 2000 my wife (now ex) and I used dope heavily. It was my fault yes, I brought it around, but it wasn't my fault that she used. We each have our own choice to make. Anyway we were using heavily, METH. The reason that we used it was for the extremely arousing sexual experiences. We did things that we probably would have never done, fulfilled fantasies, etc. I ran my own business so money wasn't really an object, we used everyday, every night for almost two years. I know that one time, I did so much in my garage that my secretary told me that I feel to the ground, and crawled around, with dowel coming out of my mouth. I was a mess and so was she.
In 2001 I had sold my buisness and bought it back 4 times that year. Yeah that was just a run of bad luck huh?!!!! NOT, the electric got shut off 2 times with kids, because them damn people wouldn't wait until I got paid, but I had my dope right! During the months of September of 2001 through January of 2002, I don't have a lot of memeory there. It sucks but so goes life. I was in a walking, using, blackout. I don't even remember my wifes birthday that month
now ex.
Anyway, I do however remembering going in the house and my wife was sitting there on the couch and she looked at me and said ''Vic, if you love me and the children you will give me what is in your pocket!" I proceeded to the bathroom and did a big load of dope. When I came out she said Vic you are an *******, I said "NO I am the biggest ******* and don't forget it. Now that wasn't me talking and yet it was. I left the town to get clean, and got busted again for possession. I got out a week later on a plea bargain, I drove straight home. When I pulled up, the kids came running out, the dog came running out, but no wife came running out. When I went in she said that I couldn't live there, that she had enough. All I had was a few pairs of jeans, a few shirts and a change of socks.
Anyway I always said that I would get clean and I did for all the wrong reasons. But I still today say that my wife (now ex) saved my life. I would have never tried to get clean if she had let me back into her life. We both could have been dead by now, I know I sure would have probably. She loved me enough to set me free. Yes I was lonely, alone, etc. But I went to meetings, I started to work a program, and made new friends. Today we are really good friends, we can talk, laugh, argue, and still remain close. She saved my LIFE> It is up to you to do what you want, we are not here to tell you what to do only share what has happened to us so maybe you can find the answer that you are seeking.
I sure will send tons of good thoughts your way.
Love vic
Back in 2000 my wife (now ex) and I used dope heavily. It was my fault yes, I brought it around, but it wasn't my fault that she used. We each have our own choice to make. Anyway we were using heavily, METH. The reason that we used it was for the extremely arousing sexual experiences. We did things that we probably would have never done, fulfilled fantasies, etc. I ran my own business so money wasn't really an object, we used everyday, every night for almost two years. I know that one time, I did so much in my garage that my secretary told me that I feel to the ground, and crawled around, with dowel coming out of my mouth. I was a mess and so was she.
In 2001 I had sold my buisness and bought it back 4 times that year. Yeah that was just a run of bad luck huh?!!!! NOT, the electric got shut off 2 times with kids, because them damn people wouldn't wait until I got paid, but I had my dope right! During the months of September of 2001 through January of 2002, I don't have a lot of memeory there. It sucks but so goes life. I was in a walking, using, blackout. I don't even remember my wifes birthday that month
now ex. Anyway, I do however remembering going in the house and my wife was sitting there on the couch and she looked at me and said ''Vic, if you love me and the children you will give me what is in your pocket!" I proceeded to the bathroom and did a big load of dope. When I came out she said Vic you are an *******, I said "NO I am the biggest ******* and don't forget it. Now that wasn't me talking and yet it was. I left the town to get clean, and got busted again for possession. I got out a week later on a plea bargain, I drove straight home. When I pulled up, the kids came running out, the dog came running out, but no wife came running out. When I went in she said that I couldn't live there, that she had enough. All I had was a few pairs of jeans, a few shirts and a change of socks.
Anyway I always said that I would get clean and I did for all the wrong reasons. But I still today say that my wife (now ex) saved my life. I would have never tried to get clean if she had let me back into her life. We both could have been dead by now, I know I sure would have probably. She loved me enough to set me free. Yes I was lonely, alone, etc. But I went to meetings, I started to work a program, and made new friends. Today we are really good friends, we can talk, laugh, argue, and still remain close. She saved my LIFE> It is up to you to do what you want, we are not here to tell you what to do only share what has happened to us so maybe you can find the answer that you are seeking.
I sure will send tons of good thoughts your way.
Love vic
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