megamysterioso

You gotta sing the title in Donnie and Marie style...

Yesterday I overheard AH talking to the phone with his mom. Naive as it is, since AH is on day 16 of no booze, I caught myself thinking, "mmm, I guess he's making progress." His "dry drunk" symptoms had subsided, but guess what? Yesterday, he had no pot to smoke so boy oh boy!

I heard him saying how in a nutshell I'm the one "quitting" this marriage and why would he want to be with someone who can't stick out the "bad times." I also heard him say things like, "She thought when we got married that things would be 'perfect'. She just doesn't understand that 'life is hard." She runs when things get hard." Here's where Guy comes in...

WTF!!! NOOOOOO-- I just think that life being "hard" and living with an active alcoholic, mentally unstable, emotional abuser and for a time--- physical abuser--- are 2 different thingsand that has made me rightly run for the friggin' hills ahole!!!!! :uzi2: Ok, I'm done and have placed those feelings aside b/c in walks Sunshine...

I needed to see how desperately miserable of a person he really is without being intoxicated in some way shape or form. He spent most of yesterday silent and in a very foul and edgy mood. He wanted me to take him to go buy pot and when I said, "no," the first thing out of his mouth was, "Ok, I'll just walk to the store and buy beer then." Talk about an eye-opener (once again)! What blackmail and manipulation. What utter disregard towards his supposed resolve of "getting sober for himself." He obviously has the same mindset of someone who is VERY addicted and cannot cope with life on life's terms. Of course he blames his need for a buzz on the fact that "his life is miserable b/c I'm leaving him." There's always an excuse...

He did apologize to me this morning about being that way, but that is only b/c he knows that today is the day that potman cometh!!! It's amazing how many of these AHA moments we need sometimes in order to stop having one ounce of faith in these people. Anyway, that was all a blessing.

ASpouse

I think you got sunshine nailed ...... not so sure about guy though .... I'll have to ponder that one LOL.

megamysterioso

Just refering to the anger Judy LOL!!! I really did feel myself getting really steamed listening to that conversation. I didn't say anything though and just put it all into perspective.

ASpouse

Ah, I see ...... unhealthy (guy???) vs. healthy (sunshine???)

It gives you something to think about doesn't it? I will admit that I do not always have healthy anger .... many times my anger manifests itself in an unhealthy way at least for me ..... but I excuse myself (much like the Alcoholic) because I am getting old ... gonna be 49 in a few days ..... and I am going through all those hormonal changes that women my age tend to start to go through at my age! Blech ........

Jazzman

Uh oh...
I'm wondering if Judys right to post should be revoked during menopause? LOL!!!
i crack myself up
Mega... my ex was still a pot smoker too, at 43 yrs old still doing teenager crap. I use to say life's not all that bad straight and sober.. try it some time!

So now he's cranky AND can't sleep! Ugh....

megamysterioso

Yes, it does. I can see bits of myself (for the most part) in almost every post here. It is natural to get angry and be angry, but it is what you do with that anger that matters to me. I refuse to harbor it anymore b/c I have no control over my AH's thoughts and feelings. Those are his and rightly so (even if to me they're delusional LOL). I don't need to feel that it is some direct personal attack on me. I have my OWN feelings about the issue and those bring me peace and I'm sure AH would not agree w/most of those.

pmaslan

This is something I hadn't heard before...the pot smokin' thing.
So that 16 days you/he calls sober was all smoke and mirrors....
Sober is abstainence from all mind altering drugs/alcohol.
Pack them bags girl...this story is over.....

pmaslan

and Judy menopausal....holy crap!!!!
Personally, I can't wait for them replies....
Love ya my girl......

megamysterioso

Oh Jazz! You are too much...

Judy- bleh is right!

megamysterioso

Exactly Patty! I've tried not to really use the term "sober" when discussing him b/c it is just "booze free" to me. He uses it though.

Personally, I'll take a pot smoker over an alkie any day of the week if I HAD to choose. He's happy on pot. Drink makes him volatile and stupid. I'm in process of packing. The end of June is coming up quickly .

ASpouse

It's called PRE-MENOPAUSE or PERI-MENOPAUSAL thank you very much!

Oh yea Jazz, you crack me up too! LOL

pmaslan

I don't know pot smoking isn't much better.....
I've known a few and it's like talking to a melon....
Never understood the whole pot smoking thing....
makes you want to eat, slows you down, mentally
and physically.....made me tired.....

Missy

I love the AHA ! Will have to use that sometime myself...

megamysterioso

Can't really call on those Karen. They come at you when you least expect it, but oh are they enlightening!

Ha Patty! That is very true for some. LOL. I used to smoke years and years ago, but I have no desire today to as you say- pig out and be more tired than I naturally am all the time!

ASpouse

Same here!

sunshine003

the blaming will be much worse soon mega, hold on. also, apparently the drinking is coming also. man oh man, I had a little hope for your ah.....well, you never know what'll happen once you leave, maybe something will sink in.

what else can I say except, keep packing.....and I repeat, keep packing, LOL.

BigSis

Hi Mega...

Why did you listen? Was he intending you to hear his comments, and therefore was baiting you? Did you participate willingly?

I think my serenity works best when I can completely get away from the chaos... taking myself into the bathroom with water running might be enough to get "away".

I wish you the best.

reader

Menopause!!! It is taking my mind along with the hot flashes and the rest of the symptoms. Please..... Mega, it seems your H's actions are just putting more nails in his coffin. The blame game is such a part of the alcoholic relationship dance. Your at least stepping your way off the dance floor. Have u got any solid plans yet such as a new place yet. I find moving so stressful, at this point in my life I would rather light a match and start over. That sounds horrible, don't call the insurance people, i will be behind bars. LOL
Take Care,

megamysterioso

Thanks guys and yes reader, I do have a deposit down on a new apartment, but I can't get in until 7/7 and my lease expires on 6/30!!! I'll figure it out though. I mailed a letter to the tenant of my new apt. asking her if there is any possible way she could vacate early, I'd pay her a week's worth of rent in cash. Haven't heard back yet *crosses fingers*.

Big Sis-- we have a pretty small apartment and I could hear him while in my bedroom with the TV on!! I didn't blast the volume to drown him out b/c I WAS actually curious as to what he had to say (when I was not in the room). Terrible of me huh??? LOL. I needed to hear though and am glad I did.

Sunshine-- I'm REALLY hoping he can remain booze free for the remainder of our time together. He is much more peaceful to be around as a "melon"!!