Bit of a moan! (Sorry)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Birmingham U.K.
Posts: 3
Bit of a moan! (Sorry)
Hey all, (New here)
Have been reading for a while, I just want to have a little bit of a moan.
I am going through a tough time right now, my mum who is an alcoholic, has been for around 35 years. She has been fired from her job for going into work "Intoxicated" I am just trying to help her appeal, which is hard because she isnt sober for me to help her. She used to be a nurse and midwife but was sacked for being intoxicated, she used to work at a supermarket but got fired for being intoxicated likewise with the bookstore and now this job. Her appeal hearing is tomorrow and at the moment she is drunk. Its embarasing because its all in the same town and people know her problem.
(I'd make a cuppa if I was you lol) The thing is she binge drinks for days and days, I have to deal with her paperwork and bills and phonecalls she gets. Because she isnt working I have to put up with out diminishing financial state, Shortfalls in mortages, and arrange legal cover for this.
At the moment I havent slept for a while because when she is drunk she shouts and screams all night and day, the family has tried to get her sectioned but alcoholism isnt covered under the mental heath act... No matter how pycotic she may be. She has attacked me before and i have had her arrested to try and shock her to stop drinking. She has been to a clinic which cost in excess of £10,000, she cant go to AA because she is always drunk, she has tried Aquarius which "TRIES" to teach alcoholics to adhere to alcohol units, I dont believe an acloholic and adhere to units!! I have been to here and my GP but he has said he cant do anything to help because she hasnt come to him and the only thing he can really do is send her to Aquarius.
I have my own problems, Depression and stress, I am 17 and have gray hairs and chest pains because of stress. I cant get an education because I have to deal with her, and with this depression I find it hard to do anything let alone leave the house. I went to my doctor about it and he asked if I have a drink problem!!! ME! A DRINK PROBLEM I am 17 for gods sake it just shows how alcohol can destroy anyone. All this whilst trying to deal with my sexuality.
It seems asthough there is no help for her I really cant see what anyone can do to help her. Sorry but I just needed to moan!
(I cant be held responceable for any spelling mistakes as I havnt slept
)
Have been reading for a while, I just want to have a little bit of a moan.
I am going through a tough time right now, my mum who is an alcoholic, has been for around 35 years. She has been fired from her job for going into work "Intoxicated" I am just trying to help her appeal, which is hard because she isnt sober for me to help her. She used to be a nurse and midwife but was sacked for being intoxicated, she used to work at a supermarket but got fired for being intoxicated likewise with the bookstore and now this job. Her appeal hearing is tomorrow and at the moment she is drunk. Its embarasing because its all in the same town and people know her problem.
(I'd make a cuppa if I was you lol) The thing is she binge drinks for days and days, I have to deal with her paperwork and bills and phonecalls she gets. Because she isnt working I have to put up with out diminishing financial state, Shortfalls in mortages, and arrange legal cover for this.
At the moment I havent slept for a while because when she is drunk she shouts and screams all night and day, the family has tried to get her sectioned but alcoholism isnt covered under the mental heath act... No matter how pycotic she may be. She has attacked me before and i have had her arrested to try and shock her to stop drinking. She has been to a clinic which cost in excess of £10,000, she cant go to AA because she is always drunk, she has tried Aquarius which "TRIES" to teach alcoholics to adhere to alcohol units, I dont believe an acloholic and adhere to units!! I have been to here and my GP but he has said he cant do anything to help because she hasnt come to him and the only thing he can really do is send her to Aquarius.
I have my own problems, Depression and stress, I am 17 and have gray hairs and chest pains because of stress. I cant get an education because I have to deal with her, and with this depression I find it hard to do anything let alone leave the house. I went to my doctor about it and he asked if I have a drink problem!!! ME! A DRINK PROBLEM I am 17 for gods sake it just shows how alcohol can destroy anyone. All this whilst trying to deal with my sexuality.
It seems asthough there is no help for her I really cant see what anyone can do to help her. Sorry but I just needed to moan!
(I cant be held responceable for any spelling mistakes as I havnt slept
)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
Why are you trying to help her appeal the firing? It seems like she doesn't have grounds for an appeal, particularly if they bring in past firings. And...
This is HER problem. She made the mistakes. Protecting her from the natural consequences of her mistakes is called "enabling". You are 17. She is the "adult". You should not be taking care of her as though she were a child, you have your own childhood (now near-adulthood) to deal with.
First rule of rescue: do not put the rescuer at risk. Hon, you're putting yourself at risk in so many ways. The first thing you need to do is take care of YOU, not her. She's a big girl now, she's making decisions that are screwing up her life, you need to learn to let go and let her make her mistakes.
Is there an AlaTeen or AlAnon meeting near you that you could go to? Do you have another family member you could live with so that at least you wouldn't have to worry about bills being paid?
I don't want to come across sounding all melodramatic, but you really MUST stop worrying about her and start worrying about you. Read the power posts in this forum. Being an Adult Child of Alcoholics is a hard road by itself, the behaviors you're learning now are only helpful in the very dysfunctional world you currently live in. You need to learn healthier behaviors which take care of YOU.
Please please look into AlAnon or AlaTeen.
As coldhearted as this sounds, there is nothing you can do to help your mother. Not until she is ready to seek help. It is neither your fault, nor your responsibility, for the situation she finds herself in. If she can't sober up enough to attend the appeal of her firing for intoxication, then it is beyond your control.
We can not change other people, we can only change ourselves.
I know this probably sounds pretty harsh. I suppose it is. Hopefully someone else will come along soon who can say things a bit more comfortingly than I just did.
We are here, we are listening, we know what you're going through (I swear, we all do...go read the 'power posts' sticky at the top of this forum, read the 13 traits of ACoAs. We all do know what you're going through.) We will support YOU in whatever way we can. We will not support your mother, her's is her's to deal with.
This is HER problem. She made the mistakes. Protecting her from the natural consequences of her mistakes is called "enabling". You are 17. She is the "adult". You should not be taking care of her as though she were a child, you have your own childhood (now near-adulthood) to deal with.
First rule of rescue: do not put the rescuer at risk. Hon, you're putting yourself at risk in so many ways. The first thing you need to do is take care of YOU, not her. She's a big girl now, she's making decisions that are screwing up her life, you need to learn to let go and let her make her mistakes.
Is there an AlaTeen or AlAnon meeting near you that you could go to? Do you have another family member you could live with so that at least you wouldn't have to worry about bills being paid?
I don't want to come across sounding all melodramatic, but you really MUST stop worrying about her and start worrying about you. Read the power posts in this forum. Being an Adult Child of Alcoholics is a hard road by itself, the behaviors you're learning now are only helpful in the very dysfunctional world you currently live in. You need to learn healthier behaviors which take care of YOU.
Please please look into AlAnon or AlaTeen.
As coldhearted as this sounds, there is nothing you can do to help your mother. Not until she is ready to seek help. It is neither your fault, nor your responsibility, for the situation she finds herself in. If she can't sober up enough to attend the appeal of her firing for intoxication, then it is beyond your control.
We can not change other people, we can only change ourselves.
I know this probably sounds pretty harsh. I suppose it is. Hopefully someone else will come along soon who can say things a bit more comfortingly than I just did.
We are here, we are listening, we know what you're going through (I swear, we all do...go read the 'power posts' sticky at the top of this forum, read the 13 traits of ACoAs. We all do know what you're going through.) We will support YOU in whatever way we can. We will not support your mother, her's is her's to deal with.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello Matty, and welcome to SR.
I'm sorry to hear you're going thru so much trouble with your Mom. You sound like you must love her very much to do so much for her. I hope you go to some Al-Anon meetings as they have tons of information that can help you deal with her alcoholism. You may want to copy your post over to the "Friends and Family" forum here as you will get a lot of replies from people in your part of the world, and lots of good suggestions too.
Mike
I'm sorry to hear you're going thru so much trouble with your Mom. You sound like you must love her very much to do so much for her. I hope you go to some Al-Anon meetings as they have tons of information that can help you deal with her alcoholism. You may want to copy your post over to the "Friends and Family" forum here as you will get a lot of replies from people in your part of the world, and lots of good suggestions too.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
First of all you are mature and literate - believe it or not that's one hell of an ace to have in your hand.
The UK mental health service is cr@p - especially if alcohol is involved!! You seem like you've done really well trying to find what is on offer, have you tried the 'uk drinkline'. Half the services out there don't know about each other but the uk drinkline seems to know about them!!
Are you still in education? If you are you might be able to get counselling through your college, if the counsellor is rubbish don't go again but they may be excellent.
Has your Mum got any other diagnosis apart from alcohol problems? If she has (or even if she hasn't) you may well qualify as a young carer - I'll try to find a link but if you do qualify it will be worth chasing up. I'm not sure of all the things they can do but I went to Poland with a group of young carers (all middle/late teenagers) and they did seem happy with the service.
The other avenue to look at may be the Connexions service - ask DIRECTLY if they know how you can contact an advocacy service. They will offer you help with issues like dealing with the mental health service and GP's etc (on the quiet they make proffessionals knees go jellyfied).
You're a bright young lady - don't give up, find help to take the pressure off you, if you've tried or try all of the above and nothing happens please post again or PM me.
The UK mental health service is cr@p - especially if alcohol is involved!! You seem like you've done really well trying to find what is on offer, have you tried the 'uk drinkline'. Half the services out there don't know about each other but the uk drinkline seems to know about them!!
Are you still in education? If you are you might be able to get counselling through your college, if the counsellor is rubbish don't go again but they may be excellent.
Has your Mum got any other diagnosis apart from alcohol problems? If she has (or even if she hasn't) you may well qualify as a young carer - I'll try to find a link but if you do qualify it will be worth chasing up. I'm not sure of all the things they can do but I went to Poland with a group of young carers (all middle/late teenagers) and they did seem happy with the service.
The other avenue to look at may be the Connexions service - ask DIRECTLY if they know how you can contact an advocacy service. They will offer you help with issues like dealing with the mental health service and GP's etc (on the quiet they make proffessionals knees go jellyfied).
You're a bright young lady - don't give up, find help to take the pressure off you, if you've tried or try all of the above and nothing happens please post again or PM me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Birmingham Carers does not directly work with young carers (Persons under the age of 18). There are several reasons for this but the main and most important one is that there is an established and effective young carers project in Birmingham run by NCH.
The project does not have a website of its own but anyone who is a young carer or is concerned about a young carer can call 0121 686 4070 for more details.
The project does not have a website of its own but anyone who is a young carer or is concerned about a young carer can call 0121 686 4070 for more details.
What is a young carer?
Young carers are children and young people under 18 who care for a sick or disabled relative. This includes children caring for parents who have mental ill health and/or severe drug and alcohol issues.
A young carer may also care for siblings, where the parent(s) is absent or dead. The young carer may be acting as main carer even where an adult is living in the household.
Caring can have a considerable impact on the quality of the young carer's childhood and can also affect future opportunities.
Young carers are children and young people under 18 who care for a sick or disabled relative. This includes children caring for parents who have mental ill health and/or severe drug and alcohol issues.
A young carer may also care for siblings, where the parent(s) is absent or dead. The young carer may be acting as main carer even where an adult is living in the household.
Caring can have a considerable impact on the quality of the young carer's childhood and can also affect future opportunities.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
West Midlands Information:
Addaction Walsall, 231 Stafford Street, Walsall WS2 8DF Tel: 01922 646262 Offers a community-based harm reduction service for people involved with problematic drug and alcohol use.
Addiction Services, Horizon House, Pitt Street, Wolverhampton WV3 0NF Tel: 01902 444030
Anchor Project (Sandwell Community Drug Team), 2 St. Michaels Court, Victoria street, West Bromwich B70 8ET Tel: 0121 5005852
Aquarius provides advice, support and counselling for people affected by the harms caused by alcohol, drugs and gambling:
Dudley - 1st Floor, Molyneux Chambers, 129-137 High Street, Brierley Hill, Dudley DY5 3AU Tel: 01384 261267 Email: [email protected]
North Birmingham - Matthews Centre, Duddeston Manor Road, Birmingham B7 4QD Tel: 0121 685 6340 Email: [email protected]
Solihull - Alice House, 10 Homer Road, Solihull, Birmingham B91 3QQ Tel: 0121 711 3732 Email: [email protected]
South Birmingham - 236 ******* Road, Edgbaston B5 7SL Tel: 0121 4140888 Email: [email protected]
West Midlands - 2nd Floor, 16 Kent Street, Birmingham B5 6RD Tel: 0121 6228181Email: [email protected]
Beswick House, 2 Bescot Road, Pleck, Walsall WS2 9AA Tel: 01922 632508 Email: beswickhouse******.co.uk Sheltered accommodation for people with mental health problems, learning difficulties or recovering alcoholics and drug addicts.
Birmingham Hiah, 10 Pershore Street, Digbeth, Birmingham B5 4RW Tel: 0121 6227780 A new service for the treatment of young people aged 18 years old and under, who are affected by drugs, alcohol or solvents.
Birmingham Voluntary Sector Drugs Forum, C/o 2 Thorngrove Cottage, Sinton Green, Hallow, Worcester WR2 6NP Tel: 01905 641621 Email: [email protected]
Burton Addiction Centre, 126 Station Street, Burton on Trent, Staffordshire DE14 1BG Tel: 01283 537280
Choices - Shropshire's Drug Awareness Project, The Elim Centre, Lancaster Road, Shrewsbury SY1 3LE Tel: 01743 440202 Email: [email protected] Aimed at young people
Community Substance Misuse Teams: Telford & Wrekin - Portico House, 22 Vineyard Road, Wellington, Telford TF1 1HB Tel: 01952 222229 or Shrewsbury: St. Michael's House, St. Michael's Street, Shrewsbury SY1 2HG: 01743 255741
Coton House, St Georges Hospital Addiction Unit, Corporation Street, Stafford ST16 3AG Tel: 01785 221315
Coventry Community Drug Team, 2 Dover Street, Coventry CV1 3DB Tel: 024 7655 3845 Email: [email protected]
Crack Outreach Team (Birmingham), Tel: 0121 685 6716 Provides a specific service to those experiencing problems relating to the use of crack cocaine
Drug Advisory Service for Herefordshire (DASH), 30 Commercial Road, Hereford HR1 2BG Tel: 01432 263636
Drug and Alcohol Support Project (Coventry), 104 Hillmorton Road, Wood End, Coventry CV2 1FW Tel: 024 7643 9940
Drug Concern: Birmingham - 2nd Floor, Ruskin Chambers, 191 Corporation Street, Birmingham B4 6RP Tel: 0121 200 2008 Fax: 0121 236 8177 Helpline: 0845 120 3745; Sandwell - 0121 580 4338 Email: [email protected] Provides a range of services for parents/carers who may be concerned about their children in relation to drug use. Recruit, train and support volunteers to help with service delivery.
Drug treatment services - list of projects and contacts in the Birmingham area
Drugline, Dale House, New Meeting Street, Birmingham B4 7SX Tel: 0121 632 6363 Email: [email protected]
Druglink - Staffordshire, Hope Street Centre, 76-82 Hope Street, Hanley, Stoke on Trent ST1 5BY Tel: 01782 425100
Dudley Drugs Project, The Warehouse, Cottage Street, Brierley Hill DY5 1RE Tel: 01384 480058
Edward Myers Unit, Harplands Hospital, Hilton Road, Stoke on Trent ST4 6TH Tel: 01782 441713
Kidderminster Community Drug Team, 28-29 New Road, Kidderminster DY10 1AF Tel: 01562 823211
Malvern Druglink, 12 Priory Road, Malvern WR14 3DS Tel: 01684 580240
Mary Street Centre Community Drug Team, 213 Mary Street, Balsall Heath, Birmingham B12 9RN Tel: 0121 4404444
Narcotics Anonymous (West Midlands) - Tel: 0121 5152926
New House Drug & Alcohol Unit, Shropshire Primary Care Trust, RSH Shelton, Welshpool Road, Bicton Heath, Shrewsbury SY3 8DN Tel: 01743 492009
Oswestry Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs (OFAAD), Kingswell Centre, 9 Arthur Street, Oswestry Tel: 01691 662618 or 655126 Email: [email protected]
Redditch Community Drug Team, 8a Church Green East, Redditch B98 8BP Tel: 01527 61010
Rugby Community Drug Team, Orchard Centre for the Community, Lower Hillmorton Road, Rugby, Warwickshire CV21 3SR Tel: 01788 551212
Saathi House, 49 Bevington Road, aston B6 6HR Tel: 0121 328 0013 Youth project organising culturally sensitive workshops and education and training resources relating to drug use in Aston
Shropshire Drug Help Project, 22 Vineyard Road, Wellington, Telford TF1 1HB Tel: 01952 222229
Slade Road Centre, 411 Slade Road, Erdington, Birmingham B23 7LA Tel: 0121 6856400
Solihull Drugs Helpline: 0800 783 8899
South Worcestershire Community Drug Team, Castle House, 14 Castle St, Worcester WR1 3ZB Tel: 01905 681460
St. Paul's Hostel, Hillborough, Tallow Hill, Worcester WR5 1DB Tel: 01905 723732 Email: stpaulshostel******.co.uk provides direct access accomodation, advice and support to people experiencing mental health and substance abuse difficulties
Staffordshire Integrated Drug and Alcohol Service - Burton (150 Station Road, D14 1BG) Tel: 01283 545071; Cannock (12 Park Road, WS11 1JN) Tel: 01543 468667 Email: [email protected] ; Stafford (18 Martin Street, ST16 2LG) Tel: 01785 251820
Stoke on Trent Community Drug Service - 76-82 Hope Street, Hanley, Stoke on Trent ST1 5BY Tel: 01782 425100
Telford & Wrekin Carers Contact Centre, Leegomery Community Centre, Leegate Avenue, Leegomery, Telford TF1 6NA Tel: 01952 240 209 Email: [email protected]
Turning Point - Evesham Druglink, Tel: 01386 444 380
Walsall Community Drug & A Team, Lantern House, 130 Lichfield Street, Walsall WS1 1SY Tel: 01922 858463
Warehouse - Dudley Drug Project, Cottage Street, Brierley Hill DY5 1RE Tel: 01384 482669
Warwickshire Substance Misuse Services, Woodleigh Beeches, Warwick Hospital, Lakin Road, Warwick Tel: 01926 410281
Welcome Structured Counselling, 15 Larch Croft, Chelmsley Wood, Solihull B37 7UR Tel: No. 0121 678 4740 Fax No. 0121 678 4731 Email: [email protected]
West Birmingham Community Drug Team, The Barker Street Centre, 3 Barker Street, Lozells, Birmingham B19 1EL Tel: 0121 6856300
West Midlands Public Libraries - Information can be found at your local public library.
Worcester Community Drug Team, 1 Fish Street, Worcester WR1 2HN Tel: 01905 681460
Worcester Druglink, 35 Foregate Street, Worcester WR1 1EE Tel: 01905 724853 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Thurs evening to 8pm
Addaction Walsall, 231 Stafford Street, Walsall WS2 8DF Tel: 01922 646262 Offers a community-based harm reduction service for people involved with problematic drug and alcohol use.
Addiction Services, Horizon House, Pitt Street, Wolverhampton WV3 0NF Tel: 01902 444030
Anchor Project (Sandwell Community Drug Team), 2 St. Michaels Court, Victoria street, West Bromwich B70 8ET Tel: 0121 5005852
Aquarius provides advice, support and counselling for people affected by the harms caused by alcohol, drugs and gambling:
Dudley - 1st Floor, Molyneux Chambers, 129-137 High Street, Brierley Hill, Dudley DY5 3AU Tel: 01384 261267 Email: [email protected]
North Birmingham - Matthews Centre, Duddeston Manor Road, Birmingham B7 4QD Tel: 0121 685 6340 Email: [email protected]
Solihull - Alice House, 10 Homer Road, Solihull, Birmingham B91 3QQ Tel: 0121 711 3732 Email: [email protected]
South Birmingham - 236 ******* Road, Edgbaston B5 7SL Tel: 0121 4140888 Email: [email protected]
West Midlands - 2nd Floor, 16 Kent Street, Birmingham B5 6RD Tel: 0121 6228181Email: [email protected]
Beswick House, 2 Bescot Road, Pleck, Walsall WS2 9AA Tel: 01922 632508 Email: beswickhouse******.co.uk Sheltered accommodation for people with mental health problems, learning difficulties or recovering alcoholics and drug addicts.
Birmingham Hiah, 10 Pershore Street, Digbeth, Birmingham B5 4RW Tel: 0121 6227780 A new service for the treatment of young people aged 18 years old and under, who are affected by drugs, alcohol or solvents.
Birmingham Voluntary Sector Drugs Forum, C/o 2 Thorngrove Cottage, Sinton Green, Hallow, Worcester WR2 6NP Tel: 01905 641621 Email: [email protected]
Burton Addiction Centre, 126 Station Street, Burton on Trent, Staffordshire DE14 1BG Tel: 01283 537280
Choices - Shropshire's Drug Awareness Project, The Elim Centre, Lancaster Road, Shrewsbury SY1 3LE Tel: 01743 440202 Email: [email protected] Aimed at young people
Community Substance Misuse Teams: Telford & Wrekin - Portico House, 22 Vineyard Road, Wellington, Telford TF1 1HB Tel: 01952 222229 or Shrewsbury: St. Michael's House, St. Michael's Street, Shrewsbury SY1 2HG: 01743 255741
Coton House, St Georges Hospital Addiction Unit, Corporation Street, Stafford ST16 3AG Tel: 01785 221315
Coventry Community Drug Team, 2 Dover Street, Coventry CV1 3DB Tel: 024 7655 3845 Email: [email protected]
Crack Outreach Team (Birmingham), Tel: 0121 685 6716 Provides a specific service to those experiencing problems relating to the use of crack cocaine
Drug Advisory Service for Herefordshire (DASH), 30 Commercial Road, Hereford HR1 2BG Tel: 01432 263636
Drug and Alcohol Support Project (Coventry), 104 Hillmorton Road, Wood End, Coventry CV2 1FW Tel: 024 7643 9940
Drug Concern: Birmingham - 2nd Floor, Ruskin Chambers, 191 Corporation Street, Birmingham B4 6RP Tel: 0121 200 2008 Fax: 0121 236 8177 Helpline: 0845 120 3745; Sandwell - 0121 580 4338 Email: [email protected] Provides a range of services for parents/carers who may be concerned about their children in relation to drug use. Recruit, train and support volunteers to help with service delivery.
Drug treatment services - list of projects and contacts in the Birmingham area
Drugline, Dale House, New Meeting Street, Birmingham B4 7SX Tel: 0121 632 6363 Email: [email protected]
Druglink - Staffordshire, Hope Street Centre, 76-82 Hope Street, Hanley, Stoke on Trent ST1 5BY Tel: 01782 425100
Dudley Drugs Project, The Warehouse, Cottage Street, Brierley Hill DY5 1RE Tel: 01384 480058
Edward Myers Unit, Harplands Hospital, Hilton Road, Stoke on Trent ST4 6TH Tel: 01782 441713
Kidderminster Community Drug Team, 28-29 New Road, Kidderminster DY10 1AF Tel: 01562 823211
Malvern Druglink, 12 Priory Road, Malvern WR14 3DS Tel: 01684 580240
Mary Street Centre Community Drug Team, 213 Mary Street, Balsall Heath, Birmingham B12 9RN Tel: 0121 4404444
Narcotics Anonymous (West Midlands) - Tel: 0121 5152926
New House Drug & Alcohol Unit, Shropshire Primary Care Trust, RSH Shelton, Welshpool Road, Bicton Heath, Shrewsbury SY3 8DN Tel: 01743 492009
Oswestry Families Affected by Alcohol and Drugs (OFAAD), Kingswell Centre, 9 Arthur Street, Oswestry Tel: 01691 662618 or 655126 Email: [email protected]
Redditch Community Drug Team, 8a Church Green East, Redditch B98 8BP Tel: 01527 61010
Rugby Community Drug Team, Orchard Centre for the Community, Lower Hillmorton Road, Rugby, Warwickshire CV21 3SR Tel: 01788 551212
Saathi House, 49 Bevington Road, aston B6 6HR Tel: 0121 328 0013 Youth project organising culturally sensitive workshops and education and training resources relating to drug use in Aston
Shropshire Drug Help Project, 22 Vineyard Road, Wellington, Telford TF1 1HB Tel: 01952 222229
Slade Road Centre, 411 Slade Road, Erdington, Birmingham B23 7LA Tel: 0121 6856400
Solihull Drugs Helpline: 0800 783 8899
South Worcestershire Community Drug Team, Castle House, 14 Castle St, Worcester WR1 3ZB Tel: 01905 681460
St. Paul's Hostel, Hillborough, Tallow Hill, Worcester WR5 1DB Tel: 01905 723732 Email: stpaulshostel******.co.uk provides direct access accomodation, advice and support to people experiencing mental health and substance abuse difficulties
Staffordshire Integrated Drug and Alcohol Service - Burton (150 Station Road, D14 1BG) Tel: 01283 545071; Cannock (12 Park Road, WS11 1JN) Tel: 01543 468667 Email: [email protected] ; Stafford (18 Martin Street, ST16 2LG) Tel: 01785 251820
Stoke on Trent Community Drug Service - 76-82 Hope Street, Hanley, Stoke on Trent ST1 5BY Tel: 01782 425100
Telford & Wrekin Carers Contact Centre, Leegomery Community Centre, Leegate Avenue, Leegomery, Telford TF1 6NA Tel: 01952 240 209 Email: [email protected]
Turning Point - Evesham Druglink, Tel: 01386 444 380
Walsall Community Drug & A Team, Lantern House, 130 Lichfield Street, Walsall WS1 1SY Tel: 01922 858463
Warehouse - Dudley Drug Project, Cottage Street, Brierley Hill DY5 1RE Tel: 01384 482669
Warwickshire Substance Misuse Services, Woodleigh Beeches, Warwick Hospital, Lakin Road, Warwick Tel: 01926 410281
Welcome Structured Counselling, 15 Larch Croft, Chelmsley Wood, Solihull B37 7UR Tel: No. 0121 678 4740 Fax No. 0121 678 4731 Email: [email protected]
West Birmingham Community Drug Team, The Barker Street Centre, 3 Barker Street, Lozells, Birmingham B19 1EL Tel: 0121 6856300
West Midlands Public Libraries - Information can be found at your local public library.
Worcester Community Drug Team, 1 Fish Street, Worcester WR1 2HN Tel: 01905 681460
Worcester Druglink, 35 Foregate Street, Worcester WR1 1EE Tel: 01905 724853 Mon-Fri 9am-5pm and Thurs evening to 8pm
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Birmingham U.K.
Posts: 3
Thanks for your replies!
I have looked in to Alanon I have found my local one, I am going to go down with my cousin next Wednesday! Also the Young Carers association, I have sent the form away.
As for taking care of meyself, I do, the reason I want her money to be sorted out is because if she goes bankrupt which she is in the position to do, I loose the house, Which I see as an investment for me, and life insurance. (If that looks very selfish please tell me)
Education wise, I had to leave school a year early because I was so mentally unwell, maybe because my father dies years previous or the stress of having to dead with her or both, I minimimal qualifications, I can get a Job I have had offers from IT companies and the college that I am at offered me a Job that just because I have a way with people and I am very sharp.
I do understand I should be letting her do what she wants but its hard because when she does something, people call me and people asscociate her with me, because I am her son lol. But as soon as I can I will get out and move away like her brother did.
She is quite ill, she is in remission from cancer, and is on Strong Vitamin B for whats left of her liver and is overweight, so I have to try and prepare incase something happens to her.
But yes thank you for your replies, its actally very comforting. I will read the posts and I will also let you know how I got on at Alanon!
I have looked in to Alanon I have found my local one, I am going to go down with my cousin next Wednesday! Also the Young Carers association, I have sent the form away.
As for taking care of meyself, I do, the reason I want her money to be sorted out is because if she goes bankrupt which she is in the position to do, I loose the house, Which I see as an investment for me, and life insurance. (If that looks very selfish please tell me)
Education wise, I had to leave school a year early because I was so mentally unwell, maybe because my father dies years previous or the stress of having to dead with her or both, I minimimal qualifications, I can get a Job I have had offers from IT companies and the college that I am at offered me a Job that just because I have a way with people and I am very sharp.
I do understand I should be letting her do what she wants but its hard because when she does something, people call me and people asscociate her with me, because I am her son lol. But as soon as I can I will get out and move away like her brother did.
She is quite ill, she is in remission from cancer, and is on Strong Vitamin B for whats left of her liver and is overweight, so I have to try and prepare incase something happens to her.
But yes thank you for your replies, its actally very comforting. I will read the posts and I will also let you know how I got on at Alanon!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
the reason I want her money to be sorted out is because if she goes bankrupt which she is in the position to do, I loose the house, Which I see as an investment for me, and life insurance. (If that looks very selfish please tell me)
I'm very glad that someone could refer you to so many resources in your area, and glad to hear you will be going to AlAnon. You sound like a very strong person, and I"m sure you will make it through this. As long as you take care of yourself first, you will make it through.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
because if she goes bankrupt which she is in the position to do, I loose the house, Which I see as an investment for me, and life insurance.
1) What percentage of the house is mortgaged or securing debts? Or how much is there as (I've forgotten the word I want!) capitol?
2) When do you turn 18?
I don't know them off pat but there are a multitude of laws protecting perminent residents in a mortgaged house. If the capitol is high enough and you can get your mother's agreement it's not impossible the mortgage could be signed to you. Don't presume that's impossible on the grounds of your work/earnings - it all depends...
I would contact your council re being vulnerabley housed, play it up a little (not that it sounds like you have to) and find what options they can offer. Ask both what they can offer now and what the situation is when you turn 18. Ask about tenancy rights if the house did come under a reposession order, I sure(ish) that making you homeless would be illegal.
Secondly contact the CAB and ask about debt reduction, there are schemes in the UK to right off debt (at a considerable level) if all are agreed the debtor cannot pay.
Don't be put off by your own age - use it. You come under some extra services as a legal child - you are also soon going to have additional independance as a legal adult.
You have a very adult attitude - enough to use what you have I think.
BTW - don't give up on education, my homelife was bollox, I left school with hardly anything, got a degree at 26 and am now applying for a MA! You will get there, you do have what it takes...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
SOUTH BIRMINGHAM YOUNG HOMELESS, Belton Grove Depot, Longbridge, B45. Tel: 457 8736
Advice and support for 16-25 yrs. Mon-Thurs 10.00am - 4.00pm. Friday 10.00am-1.00pm. Wed. 4.00pm-7.00pm by appointment.
Advice and support for 16-25 yrs. Mon-Thurs 10.00am - 4.00pm. Friday 10.00am-1.00pm. Wed. 4.00pm-7.00pm by appointment.
The best thing is you won't have to rely on your mother - this is something to make sure you know your options and it's something you can do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
If you want to arrange some counselling for yourself these people should be able to help:
Although they are for Looked After they will be able to signpost you (I bloody hope!!).
Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service
Social Care and Health CAMHS
Social Care and Health provide a mental health service for looked after children and young people.
To contact the service, whether you are a parent/carer or a young person seeking advice, you can call the Single Point of Access (SPA) for your area as follows:
North SPA - 0121 350 1565
South SPA - 0121 627 8231
East SPA - 0121 683 6520
Heart of Birmingham SPA - 0121 465 3683
If you are unsure which area you fall into, check our directory of local offices to find out whether your ward is served by our North, South, East or Heart of Birmingham offices.
The information leaflets attached below will give you more details about the services provided.
CAMHS also provide training to foster carers. View up to date details on the training available to foster carers.
Social Care and Health CAMHS
Social Care and Health provide a mental health service for looked after children and young people.
To contact the service, whether you are a parent/carer or a young person seeking advice, you can call the Single Point of Access (SPA) for your area as follows:
North SPA - 0121 350 1565
South SPA - 0121 627 8231
East SPA - 0121 683 6520
Heart of Birmingham SPA - 0121 465 3683
If you are unsure which area you fall into, check our directory of local offices to find out whether your ward is served by our North, South, East or Heart of Birmingham offices.
The information leaflets attached below will give you more details about the services provided.
CAMHS also provide training to foster carers. View up to date details on the training available to foster carers.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Isn't Equus fab?
Welcome, Matty, from a fellow Brit. You sound like you are doing a remarkable job, even though it might not feel like it sometimes.
Let us know how you get on at al-anon and stuff. And lean on us anytime you want.
Minnie
xxxx
Welcome, Matty, from a fellow Brit. You sound like you are doing a remarkable job, even though it might not feel like it sometimes.
Let us know how you get on at al-anon and stuff. And lean on us anytime you want.
Minnie
xxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Sometimes I'm about as much use as a chocolate teapot - other times I can help (but I'm always fab!! :p )
Matty, sorry to drown you with info but you guessed it - there's more! Young Carers can offer lots but the cut off at 18 is pretty well adhered to (read move quickly!), BUT there's also a UK online service that's at a national level, they have tons of advice, online experts and a forum.
From here on in I'd say they can give much better advice so I'll bow out apart from saying hi!
http://www.youngcarers.net/
Because it's online you won't lose it at 18 and they should still serve as the best signposters. You're not alone, they REGULARLY help with YP dealing with a parents substnace misuse and mental health. There will be other people there who have been through what you're going through AND Uk proffessionals that can really do something.
Matty, sorry to drown you with info but you guessed it - there's more! Young Carers can offer lots but the cut off at 18 is pretty well adhered to (read move quickly!), BUT there's also a UK online service that's at a national level, they have tons of advice, online experts and a forum.
From here on in I'd say they can give much better advice so I'll bow out apart from saying hi!
http://www.youngcarers.net/
Because it's online you won't lose it at 18 and they should still serve as the best signposters. You're not alone, they REGULARLY help with YP dealing with a parents substnace misuse and mental health. There will be other people there who have been through what you're going through AND Uk proffessionals that can really do something.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
For the link toyoung carers who's family have addiction problems:
http://www.youngcarers.net/i_care_for_someone_who/35/
Look on the left because there are more pages...
http://www.youngcarers.net/i_care_for_someone_who/35/
Look on the left because there are more pages...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
If I ever get rich and move to the UK Im hiring you Eqqus for my Personal Assistant...
Your amazing
Welcome to SR...
You know it probably feels like you are drowning, but it sounds like your doing well to me.
I just wanted to add my welcome!
Your amazing
Welcome to SR...
You know it probably feels like you are drowning, but it sounds like your doing well to me.
I just wanted to add my welcome!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Birmingham U.K.
Posts: 3
Again thanks for your advice! At the moment it looks like to can have her admitted under the MHA for Psychotic Depression. So I will phone the CPN.
AGAIN I cant thank you, maybe its just nice for someone to humour me let alone help me!! xxx
AGAIN I cant thank you, maybe its just nice for someone to humour me let alone help me!! xxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
BTW - Post 16 you can also apply for a carers allowance, welfare rights should be able to help you.
You're worth helping. In how you have lived and what you have done in caring you have returned more to this world than most of us ever will - value it in yourself, all of us should be (and most here are) proud of you!!
You're worth helping. In how you have lived and what you have done in caring you have returned more to this world than most of us ever will - value it in yourself, all of us should be (and most here are) proud of you!!
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