hello:)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wales
Posts: 13
hello:)
hi, im 22 male from wales and im not really sure whether im an alcoholic or not, i guess thats why ive come here. i havent read any of the threads yet so ill have a good read now.
basically i have always been a heavy drinker and i suffer from social anxiety and drinking is my main way to avoid my social problems. everything is just easier when im drunk. i dont need to have a drink every day but when i go through a patch of drinking in the evening i always feel like having a drink. also i find it very difficult to go out to social occasions with out having a drink.
another thing i that my dad is a recovering alcoholic and im not sure how this has affect me, maybe im just tryin to explain all my problems by following in his footsteps rather than facing up to them.
this is a brief over view and thing arent as bad as they used to be as ive recently had a long time off but ive started again and i can feel an erge to get drunk, all the time.
anyways ill stop blabbing. thx.
basically i have always been a heavy drinker and i suffer from social anxiety and drinking is my main way to avoid my social problems. everything is just easier when im drunk. i dont need to have a drink every day but when i go through a patch of drinking in the evening i always feel like having a drink. also i find it very difficult to go out to social occasions with out having a drink.
another thing i that my dad is a recovering alcoholic and im not sure how this has affect me, maybe im just tryin to explain all my problems by following in his footsteps rather than facing up to them.
this is a brief over view and thing arent as bad as they used to be as ive recently had a long time off but ive started again and i can feel an erge to get drunk, all the time.
anyways ill stop blabbing. thx.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Hank, welcome to SR! 
It is a good idea to read around the boards, there is a wealth of info there.
As to whether you are an alcoholic or not, only you can decide that, but if your alcohol consumption is causing you dis ease in your life, why not try to quit anyway ?
have you had a yak to ya Dad about this? he would be a great source of support . For me, the biggest red flag was that once I started drinking, I could not stop, and drank til i was drunk
keep osting, and ask any questions you need to, i wish you well in your search for answers, we are here for you , Hank , take care
HUGX
Lee
It is a good idea to read around the boards, there is a wealth of info there.
As to whether you are an alcoholic or not, only you can decide that, but if your alcohol consumption is causing you dis ease in your life, why not try to quit anyway ?
have you had a yak to ya Dad about this? he would be a great source of support . For me, the biggest red flag was that once I started drinking, I could not stop, and drank til i was drunk
keep osting, and ask any questions you need to, i wish you well in your search for answers, we are here for you , Hank , take care
HUGX
Lee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wales
Posts: 13
thanks justme, i have had a chat with my dad in the past but he doesnt know about my sa and plus he moved out when i was about 11/12 and i dont feel that close to him. it was aorund that time i started drinking, and yeh when im drunk im i wont stop drinking til i run out or fall asleep but that only on the weekeds when im out.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
Hi Hank,
Welcome to SR! Take a look around because you'll find loads of information and lots of supportive people. It sounds like you're questioning yourself and that's a good thing. And, just in case you're interested, we have a forum called 'Adult Children of Alcoholics' which you might want to check out. Keep posting!
Welcome to SR! Take a look around because you'll find loads of information and lots of supportive people. It sounds like you're questioning yourself and that's a good thing. And, just in case you're interested, we have a forum called 'Adult Children of Alcoholics' which you might want to check out. Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
Hank, question, has your drinking ever caused you problems:
1. physically / health? Not including hangovers
2. mentally / emotionally ? It has b/c you aren't dealing with social anxiety
3. financially?
4. at work?
5. in relationships?
6. with the law?
7. other?
Your answers to these may give you some insight.
Good luck with your journey. Levi.
1. physically / health? Not including hangovers
2. mentally / emotionally ? It has b/c you aren't dealing with social anxiety
3. financially?
4. at work?
5. in relationships?
6. with the law?
7. other?
Your answers to these may give you some insight.
Good luck with your journey. Levi.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hi Hank,
Very good you're willing to LOOK at this as you perceive there's a problem developing/ existing. That you're already aware of your tendency to avoid, and use alcohol to sedate yourself into a state of mental ease/ escape from situations and yourself, gives you the power to move beyond that mode of retreat and change this before it destroys you. And it will, left unchecked.
I'm finding that AVOIDANCE, and isolation, are key factors in keeping a person stuck in addiction. And it only progresses from there into further avoidance and isolation. I encourage you to read much across this site, and find good people in your life with whom you can be open and honest and trust to hear you. That will help you clarify your own thinking as well, rather than just avoid the issue under the distortion of more and more alcohol. You write "things aren't as bad as they used to be..." and in the same sentence continue you're feeling the urge "to get drunk, all the time." Be honest and real about this, Hank. It's a progressive and all-consuming, deadly disease.
Your father has been there, and through it. Perhaps you can talk with him? I bet he'd understand and want to help...
I wish you well in making the necessary changes.
Very good you're willing to LOOK at this as you perceive there's a problem developing/ existing. That you're already aware of your tendency to avoid, and use alcohol to sedate yourself into a state of mental ease/ escape from situations and yourself, gives you the power to move beyond that mode of retreat and change this before it destroys you. And it will, left unchecked.
I'm finding that AVOIDANCE, and isolation, are key factors in keeping a person stuck in addiction. And it only progresses from there into further avoidance and isolation. I encourage you to read much across this site, and find good people in your life with whom you can be open and honest and trust to hear you. That will help you clarify your own thinking as well, rather than just avoid the issue under the distortion of more and more alcohol. You write "things aren't as bad as they used to be..." and in the same sentence continue you're feeling the urge "to get drunk, all the time." Be honest and real about this, Hank. It's a progressive and all-consuming, deadly disease.
Your father has been there, and through it. Perhaps you can talk with him? I bet he'd understand and want to help...
I wish you well in making the necessary changes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
hello there Hank... good place to be... if your think'n you might have a problem, its a start.... i do know that for me, what i resist'd, has always persisted... i made a start... and now have three years clean, with a change of attitude and look at life... put'n the drink, and drug down was what i need'd... try it, wad'a ya got to loose?... agw & tol, Pattee
In Recovery
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 259
Hank,
Something I was told (at my first AA meeting) was, "It doesn't matter how much you drink, but what happens when you do." For me, it was becoming more sociable, yet also hostile towards all men who even appeared to me to be trying to pick me up.
Also, drank until I dropped, the bottle ran dry, or the bar closed up.
I was almost scared out of going to my first AA meeting, because I was told by someone that I woudl have to say "I'm an alcoholic." I, like you, didn't know it for myself yet. When I did get the courage to go, the people there told me that I didn't ever have to say "I'm an alcoholic" ...ever, if I didn't want to.
They are the most supportive, loving people I've known (I also grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional home), and I've become very close to a few of them. They are true, deep, intimate friendships like I've never known before.
IF you find an AA group, and they don't seem quite suited to you, find another. I love my group, and while I've thought of attending others (for variety), I wouldn't give those people up for all the gold at Fort Knox!!
Best of luck to you...keep coming back!
Kari
"Did you wake up today? Then it's not too late." --Maya Angelou
Something I was told (at my first AA meeting) was, "It doesn't matter how much you drink, but what happens when you do." For me, it was becoming more sociable, yet also hostile towards all men who even appeared to me to be trying to pick me up.
Also, drank until I dropped, the bottle ran dry, or the bar closed up.
I was almost scared out of going to my first AA meeting, because I was told by someone that I woudl have to say "I'm an alcoholic." I, like you, didn't know it for myself yet. When I did get the courage to go, the people there told me that I didn't ever have to say "I'm an alcoholic" ...ever, if I didn't want to.
They are the most supportive, loving people I've known (I also grew up in an alcoholic/dysfunctional home), and I've become very close to a few of them. They are true, deep, intimate friendships like I've never known before.
IF you find an AA group, and they don't seem quite suited to you, find another. I love my group, and while I've thought of attending others (for variety), I wouldn't give those people up for all the gold at Fort Knox!!
Best of luck to you...keep coming back!
Kari
"Did you wake up today? Then it's not too late." --Maya Angelou
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wales
Posts: 13
thanks for the welcome guys n gals, to answer the questions
1. no my phsysical, health has always bn pretty good but im only 22 and i guess the more this goes on the more id deteriorate
2.i have alot of mental health issues all rolled into one kinda hard to work out where to start
3.im skint lol..so yeh..went out last night but really shudntve
4.well not so far, ive bn to uni and it kinda started to affect my work
5.relationships-never bn in one
6yes-but only for peeing on the street-had a whacking 80 pound fine
7.well..the main way that i feel alcohol affects me is the whole avoidance issue,which is why im not sure if i have a alcohol problem or whether i just drink to escape from my other problems.
1. no my phsysical, health has always bn pretty good but im only 22 and i guess the more this goes on the more id deteriorate
2.i have alot of mental health issues all rolled into one kinda hard to work out where to start
3.im skint lol..so yeh..went out last night but really shudntve
4.well not so far, ive bn to uni and it kinda started to affect my work
5.relationships-never bn in one
6yes-but only for peeing on the street-had a whacking 80 pound fine
7.well..the main way that i feel alcohol affects me is the whole avoidance issue,which is why im not sure if i have a alcohol problem or whether i just drink to escape from my other problems.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hank,
Did you read your responses? Mental health issues, doing things you know you shudntve
drinking affects your work, prevents healthy relationships, a fine for public urination :andy: (which would be funny if this weren't so serious), and the BIGGIE, in your own words now:
Using alcohol to escape your other problems. Therein creating a whole addictional layer of problems masking all the other underlying problems. So in order to then access the origin of all those other problems you'll have to first get past the alcoholism. Can you see how alcohol is compounding your problems? Yes, you are AVOIDING big time. You can avoid for a lifetime, but it will also BECOME your life. You're 22. Every option open to you you to change this before it consumes you entirely. Sincerely hope you begin to address your underlying reasons for abusing alcohol before the alcohol becomes your primary problem. You'll need to open up to others to do that, cuz you're not going to see it from your own internal vantage point. Find someone you trust to help you, Hank.
Did you read your responses? Mental health issues, doing things you know you shudntve
drinking affects your work, prevents healthy relationships, a fine for public urination :andy: (which would be funny if this weren't so serious), and the BIGGIE, in your own words now:
Originally Posted by hank
the main way that i feel alcohol affects me is the whole avoidance issue,which is why im not sure if i have a alcohol problem or whether i just drink to escape from my other problems.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: The Big Woods
Posts: 521
Hank! You're AVOIDING again!
"Nothing to do" is NOT an excuse for a healthy 22-year old!
Engage that body and mind of yours and take delight in life! As soon as you start seeking alternatives to drinking you'll be AMAZED what all is out there for you to do! I could write a list that wouldn't end until next week Friday. But I have animals to tend, gardens to plant, letters to write, eggs to gather, a house to clean, several books to read (backed up by some AMAZING recommendations here at SR...worth your time to peruse to find ideas there), and if there's still daylight hours remaining a walk through the woods to take with my dogs.
You know there are always NA/ AA meetings ongoing most every evening, there are links right here at SR to connect you to them...that might be a good place for you to begin. Surround yourself with good people and positive minded ideas and what you're looking for will come to you. KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
"Nothing to do" is NOT an excuse for a healthy 22-year old!
Engage that body and mind of yours and take delight in life! As soon as you start seeking alternatives to drinking you'll be AMAZED what all is out there for you to do! I could write a list that wouldn't end until next week Friday. But I have animals to tend, gardens to plant, letters to write, eggs to gather, a house to clean, several books to read (backed up by some AMAZING recommendations here at SR...worth your time to peruse to find ideas there), and if there's still daylight hours remaining a walk through the woods to take with my dogs.
You know there are always NA/ AA meetings ongoing most every evening, there are links right here at SR to connect you to them...that might be a good place for you to begin. Surround yourself with good people and positive minded ideas and what you're looking for will come to you. KEEP AN OPEN MIND.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Rusty's right hank, just put it down, get some f2f support, either AA or some other programme, abd work on it .
You are only 22, and as alonagainor says, you are having problems already. I did not put it down until I was 57, and I regret the wasted life , dont let that happen to you
HUGX
Lee
You are only 22, and as alonagainor says, you are having problems already. I did not put it down until I was 57, and I regret the wasted life , dont let that happen to you
HUGX
Lee
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: wales
Posts: 13
hi again....i know i have a problem with drinking....but i also know that my biggest problem is my social anxiety and im scared that if i dont drink and get out ill end up alone in my house with no friends.....and yes i do know that if i carry on drinking thats exactly where il end up,im sort of tied between these 2 fears and thats whats keping me in this loop.
i know that not drinking wud be a start but i find it hard because alot of my friend want me to go out with them...but id never survive a night out without drink cos of sa and i dont wanna loose my friends.... i dont know where i was goin with this now sorry ...bit late
anyways ta for all ur support hope see u around more on here
i know that not drinking wud be a start but i find it hard because alot of my friend want me to go out with them...but id never survive a night out without drink cos of sa and i dont wanna loose my friends.... i dont know where i was goin with this now sorry ...bit late
anyways ta for all ur support hope see u around more on here
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