mallowcup

I had to speak to my ex for the first time since 1997 yesteday. He called me. Ranting and bellaring right from the get go. He made about 5 babbling phone calls to my sons house and about 5 to mine. He was drunk or coking or both. Rambling, convoluted, loop conversation to include what a classless bitch I am. I remained calm and rational. My son is getting married in two weeks and my husband and I made all the arnangements for the rehearsal dinner. We haven't heard form this man since 1997 when I was in the ER with both of my sons who were being treated for head injuries, contussions and lacerations caused by my ex. My son graciously invited him to his wedding with the hopes he'd see a changed man. My ex was pissed he wasn't called, I was out of line to plan the dinner blah blah..........that's his job and he insisted on paying half. I said OK. Fine thanks. He said since he was paying half, he was inviting his parents and his sister, her husband and their new baby, then he hung up. Then he called back to say that I could pay the bill and I coud send him a bill for his half. (yeah right). We went out and when we got back, he left a message for my husband to call him, we didn't. Thing is, I have had a migraine ever since. I forgot that I used to get these headaches everyday when I was with him. I couldn't think past the headaches to make a plan. An alcoholic keeps you sick and exhausted.

megamysterioso

Hey Mallowcup and I'm sorry for your migraine and hope it is somewhat relieved by now. I feel somewhat sick for justifying my stay here until the lease is expired. In reality, I could possibly get a TPO on AH, but I don't b/c I don't want to add fuel to what is now his embers burning. If worse came to worse, I could borrow the money I need from my parents, but I simply refuse to do it b/c they were affected by Katrina big time and NEED the money themselves. I'm 34 for crying out loud! From an outsider's perspective, I can totally see why I am questioned for staying in the same household for one more minute. For those that know us both personally however, they see my logic and understand why I'm preceding in this way.

I want to take this opportunity to personally thank you for informing me to file the divorce myself w/o an attorney. I have a template of forms coming to me and I am getting well-versed on my state statutes, etc. If AH decides to contest this at some point, I'll only be out about $50.00 versus $530. I appreciate it Mallowcup.

denny57

I know it's difficult, mallow, but try to carry on now as if the calls didn't happen. Just because he called you and made all these rules (who made him boss?), you don't have to abide by them. Don't take his calls; don't return them. Does your son want you to accommodate his father? Perhaps your son is willing to deal with him and leave you out of it. Good luck and hope the wedding goes off well.

elizabeth1979

Exactly.
It does happen that we get physically sick due to the tailspins we get into.
I used to get migraines all the time.. I dont get them anymore..funny thing!
Can you lie down in a dark room with silence? That always helped me