Speaking of Recovery....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Speaking of Recovery....
I have a terrible problem with anxiety. I have medication for it but I
try to limit it to only really intense times. I usually try relaxing techniques before popping a pill in my mouth. Seems to happen at bedtime, you know
when all is quiet and you are truely alone with yourself. Most times that
overwhelming feeling would come when I thought of my ex.
Lately these episodes have become fewer. Last night I laid down to sleep
and felt an incredible feeling of peace come over me.
I thought about John for a moment and really felt nothing. It was a
realization that what once was is gone and will never be again. I was okay with that....for the first time I was really okay with that. I don't know if it's because we are nearing the one year apart mark or what. It was a
very clear moment, a feeling of rebirth if you will.
Funny thing about it, I thought I would never feel this way.
I thought why have I carried this with me for so long....
This man did nothing but take from me, why was I continuing to let him?
I never deserved that and he never deserved me....
That isn't love.....
Only 2 months ago he had me in a tailspin....
I was caught up in his drama....
I was not caught up in his love.
No wonder why I am smiling today....
It really is a feeling of rebirth to feel this free.....
Just thought I would share ......
try to limit it to only really intense times. I usually try relaxing techniques before popping a pill in my mouth. Seems to happen at bedtime, you know
when all is quiet and you are truely alone with yourself. Most times that
overwhelming feeling would come when I thought of my ex.
Lately these episodes have become fewer. Last night I laid down to sleep
and felt an incredible feeling of peace come over me.
I thought about John for a moment and really felt nothing. It was a
realization that what once was is gone and will never be again. I was okay with that....for the first time I was really okay with that. I don't know if it's because we are nearing the one year apart mark or what. It was a
very clear moment, a feeling of rebirth if you will.
Funny thing about it, I thought I would never feel this way.
I thought why have I carried this with me for so long....
This man did nothing but take from me, why was I continuing to let him?
I never deserved that and he never deserved me....
That isn't love.....
Only 2 months ago he had me in a tailspin....
I was caught up in his drama....
I was not caught up in his love.
No wonder why I am smiling today....
It really is a feeling of rebirth to feel this free.....
Just thought I would share ......
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
Yep, bedtime does it to me also. I recently decided that I didnt want to have to take a pill to calm me down, no harm in it necesarily, but you know I wanted to get to a better place where I stopped those anxious feelings, instead of masking them. It takes more work that way, but it sure does feel good when we get there!
Thats growth, when you get to that point where you can see the situation for exactly what it was.
No more, no less.
Thats growth, when you get to that point where you can see the situation for exactly what it was.
No more, no less.
One brief hour...
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Anywhere, USA
Posts: 1,412
Thank you for sharing Patty and I am truly happy for you. It must be an overwhelmingly joyous feeling to be totally at peace with yourself and your situation. I hope to one day feel that calm.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Arizona
Posts: 928
Patty...
God I remember those anxst ridden days when I was with my exabf..wow..what a way not to live!!!
Since I've gone into Alanon I don't take any meds at all..usually for me prayer and meditation (you know..the sitting on the ground stuff) usually does it for me..deep breathing as well.
it's amazing how good peaceful feels!!!
God I remember those anxst ridden days when I was with my exabf..wow..what a way not to live!!!
Since I've gone into Alanon I don't take any meds at all..usually for me prayer and meditation (you know..the sitting on the ground stuff) usually does it for me..deep breathing as well.
it's amazing how good peaceful feels!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Sunshine State
Posts: 410
^Your post (((OP))) is full of HOPE! A wonderful encouragement to see a future internal peace from all the turmoil in our lives because of AFamily member! Bless YOU. BLESS YOU!
B-L-E-S-S Y-O-U! I know it's trite, but "Keep on Keepin' on."
-EB
B-L-E-S-S Y-O-U! I know it's trite, but "Keep on Keepin' on."
-EB
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 2,333
Thank you EB.....
I am not saying any of it is easy....
What I am saying is that personal freedom is out there for anyone that wants it.
When I came here I was no differnet than anyone else that comes here now.
I ranted, I cried, I complained, I repeated behaviour that kept me trapped.
I had several really great people here take me under their wing so to speak.
I listened to what they said, wieghed it out, considered my options.
I kept hearing go to an alanon meeting, the thought of it angered me....
"Why should I go I am not the problem...?"
I went, reluctantly....and I went again....
I was my own worst problem.
I found a therapist....
I detached....
I read everything I could get my hands on...
I prayed.....
Yeah, I slipped here and there but I never let go of the brass ring....
I am grateful that I put my pride aside and did what I had to do.
I looked at what worked for others and applied it to my life....
I wouldn't change a thing....
I am not saying any of it is easy....
What I am saying is that personal freedom is out there for anyone that wants it.
When I came here I was no differnet than anyone else that comes here now.
I ranted, I cried, I complained, I repeated behaviour that kept me trapped.
I had several really great people here take me under their wing so to speak.
I listened to what they said, wieghed it out, considered my options.
I kept hearing go to an alanon meeting, the thought of it angered me....
"Why should I go I am not the problem...?"
I went, reluctantly....and I went again....
I was my own worst problem.
I found a therapist....
I detached....
I read everything I could get my hands on...
I prayed.....
Yeah, I slipped here and there but I never let go of the brass ring....
I am grateful that I put my pride aside and did what I had to do.
I looked at what worked for others and applied it to my life....
I wouldn't change a thing....
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by pmaslan
When I came here I was no differnet than anyone else that comes here now.
I ranted, I cried, I complained, I repeated behaviour that kept me trapped.
I had several really great people here take me under their wing so to speak.
I listened to what they said, wieghed it out, considered my options.
I kept hearing go to an alanon meeting, the thought of it angered me....
"Why should I go I am not the problem...?"
I went, reluctantly....and I went again....
I was my own worst problem.
I found a therapist....
I detached....
I read everything I could get my hands on...
I prayed.....
Yeah, I slipped here and there but I never let go of the brass ring....
I am grateful that I put my pride aside and did what I had to do.
I looked at what worked for others and applied it to my life....
I wouldn't change a thing....
I ranted, I cried, I complained, I repeated behaviour that kept me trapped.
I had several really great people here take me under their wing so to speak.
I listened to what they said, wieghed it out, considered my options.
I kept hearing go to an alanon meeting, the thought of it angered me....
"Why should I go I am not the problem...?"
I went, reluctantly....and I went again....
I was my own worst problem.
I found a therapist....
I detached....
I read everything I could get my hands on...
I prayed.....
Yeah, I slipped here and there but I never let go of the brass ring....
I am grateful that I put my pride aside and did what I had to do.
I looked at what worked for others and applied it to my life....
I wouldn't change a thing....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
I am so glad your anxious feeling have subsided. Mine kepp sneaking up out of the blue.
Forgive me Im new here, do you paint, as art therapy, or to redecorate your house? I ask because recently I started redecorating and painting my whole house, it helped me feel fresh. Also, as suggestion of my therapist I have retaken up photography as an art and a way to express my feelings instead of being a drama clean it really has helped.
Forgive me Im new here, do you paint, as art therapy, or to redecorate your house? I ask because recently I started redecorating and painting my whole house, it helped me feel fresh. Also, as suggestion of my therapist I have retaken up photography as an art and a way to express my feelings instead of being a drama clean it really has helped.
Occasional poor taste poster
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 2,542
LOL! Thanks but NO thanks Patty. I just finished mine! I'm done for a while...
Cind/kids, it's a joke about painting is good therapy... well it's not a joke for me. I found it really helped me.
Karen, yes, the more anxious I am the cleaner my house is! LOL!!!
Cind/kids, it's a joke about painting is good therapy... well it's not a joke for me. I found it really helped me.
Karen, yes, the more anxious I am the cleaner my house is! LOL!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by pmaslan
Denny you are steps ahead of where I was....I never even knew I was
getting there...it just snuck up on me....
getting there...it just snuck up on me....
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