dane5679

Just a question... I've noticed alot of talk about cheating in all of the forums... cheating on wifes, husbands, girlfriends, etc... Has anyone NOT cheated on their sig. other during active addiction or even during recovery? Thanks.

margo

I've never cheated on anyone - clean or using. I've been cheated on, though - more times than I care to admit.

daydream

Same as Margo. There were times I fantasized about having someone to hold me and be gentle with me, but I never actually considered cheating. Never flirted or anything remotely resembling cheating, although I got cheated on. Being faithful to a partner is a major moral value to me. Of course, that's not to say i could never cheat. Being under the influence lowers inhibitions, so I am not immune from it. I just seriously doubt it would ever happen, especially with me being clean. I have plenty of flaws....cheating just isn't one of them.

SaTiT

I cheated on my ex-wife in my using. There was infidility on both side.
But i learned my lesson will.

In recovery I've had never cheated on anyone or myself.
I had thought of other women in my early recovery, but i
didn't actually do it. But as time went on, It got to the piont where I've never notice other women.

From my Gf piont of view...she thinks i did.
But she been on a run for years and the relationship got worst
and worts. She went on a run, I spent my birthday , along again
for another year. I went though a process of getting over a long term
relationship for 4 months and tried to move on with my life.
I detached, grieve and cried my heart out over the woman.
Yes, 1 month of hoping things would change, but she just needed
a place to stayed and rest.
I spent another thanksgiving alone and another Xmas alone for another
year. All she wanted to do was go gambling. I terminate the relationship.
She went on another repree.
She knew it. She even came to my work asking to borrow money from
me again. I gave her money. She promised that she would no longer
bother me and it would be one last time as always. Of course that's
totally block out of her mind. She even taunted me ..yes..yes.
She didn't give a rats ass. she even said she didn't care.
Her going gambling or getting drunk is the same thing as cheating for me
already. What relationship, what intimatcy, what time spent together
beside the bitching and moaning.

7 months before I even ever consider of looking or thought of another
woman. So when I move on and didn't even know how the hell I was going
to start my life over again and all this dating stuff. I'm not a young stud
like I use to be. I was 37 at the time.

Other women started coming into my life.
After her bindge...she found out about the other women.
It pissed her off. What did it matter what women I got involve with ?
I told her , if it wasn't her....obviuisely it's going with someone else.
How much longer must I wait...and what freanken relationship did we have.
She sytematically started tanting my relationships with other women.
I'm still being accused of cheating on her amoungs many other things.

And the last thing on my mind is another relationship at the moment.
But she dosen't see it like I do....

"it's been freanken madness.. the last thing I need is another special relationship at the moment"

My perception has changes over the years about cheat.
everything starts with me. My recovery starts with me.
My not cheating on myself starts with me.

I'm no longer a jealouse type of person. It can be a bitch at times.
my Gf can have as many guys as she wants 13th step her , emailing her.
What dose it matter how many guys she talks to or get invlolve with ?
If it's not with me...it's not with me. if she dosen't love me, she dosen't
love me. Why get jeaoulse ?? It only pushes me further away.
Ultimately I get to this piont. Nope ....I don't think like a woman !!!

golf99

Didn't cheat when I was using, It would have taken too much energy. LOL

I've been married 23 years and happy to report...Never Cheated.

Paul83

I never had enough hormones to get a sig. other in the 1st place when I was using. Bingo!

Phinneas

I never cheated on my marriage when I was clean or using.

JenOffmethadone

I lost my sex drive for nearly 3 years on heroin. I had a live in boyfriend who was also a addict and had no intreast in sex AT ALL. I did cheat on him while using. I left that relationship anyway, he is still in active addication. I have never even thought of cheating in my new realationship while being clean. I made a lot of choices on heroin that I would not have made clean.

Recoveree

I never cheated on my wife...either in recovery or when I relapsed and we separated or when we got back together again when I got clean again.

Why??

I loved her.
I didn't want to live with the guilt.

Richie

best

When I was drinking...never.
Seems that the ladies of the moment were looking for sober guys, not fall down drunks. More so, it was a seeking the bottle then it was a seeking of anything else.
One track mind.

Charlina

Never cheated. But, when things got bad between us and he did not go along with my addiction and he left the state cause he just couldnt take seeing me killing myself, I did get lonely and did end up being with a guy that I used with on a regular basis. I ended up staying and using with him for about a year. When I got clean I left him. He just didnt turn me on like he did while I was using and now I moved to the State where my X moved to and we have been back together for almost a year. Also Ive been clean and serene since 1-05 alchol free since 2-06. So there is some hope rite?

Charlina

Daydream where did you get your avatar from? I love it!

Spungold49

I Was Faith Ful In An 18 Year Marriage. I Cheated In My First Non-married Long Term Relationship When I Landed In The Treatment Hospital, And My Last After Relapsing And Being Thrown Out . I Can Blame The Disease. I Do Blame The Disease. Why? Because I Never Thought I Would Drink And Drive, Stalk Anyone, Hit Or Allow Myself To Be Hit, Cut My Wrists...going Back Into The Drink Was Like The Biblical Pig Who Went Back To Mud Pit, Or The Clean House Who Was Not Filled With God And Seven Extra Bad Demons Decided To Camp Out In It.

Thanks For Allowing Me To Be Honest,,that Was Hard.

Active Addiction Is A Soul Sickness Because In Our Right Minds We Would Never Do Such Things.

dane5679

Thanks for your replies- My ABF has been clean for 6 months now and says he has never cheated and I hear so many stories about peoples sig others cheating in the nar anon forums etc. I was just wondering about those in relationships while in active addiction and their experiences within relationships. It just seems that in the Naranon forums you don't hear much about people remaining faithful to their spouse or partner while in addiction. Thank you so much for your honesty!

Tiro

Never cheated. Addiction or recovery

Been cheated on.