I cheated on my ex-wife in my using. There was infidility on both side.
But i learned my lesson will.
In recovery I've had never cheated on anyone or myself.
I had thought of other women in my early recovery, but i
didn't actually do it. But as time went on, It got to the piont where I've never notice other women.
From my Gf piont of view...she thinks i did.
But she been on a run for years and the relationship got worst
and worts. She went on a run, I spent my birthday , along again
for another year. I went though a process of getting over a long term
relationship for 4 months and tried to move on with my life.
I detached, grieve and cried my heart out over the woman.
Yes, 1 month of hoping things would change, but she just needed
a place to stayed and rest.
I spent another thanksgiving alone and another Xmas alone for another
year. All she wanted to do was go gambling. I terminate the relationship.
She went on another repree.
She knew it. She even came to my work asking to borrow money from
me again. I gave her money. She promised that she would no longer
bother me and it would be one last time as always. Of course that's
totally block out of her mind. She even taunted me ..yes..yes.
She didn't give a rats ass. she even said she didn't care.
Her going gambling or getting drunk is the same thing as cheating for me
already. What relationship, what intimatcy, what time spent together
beside the bitching and moaning.
7 months before I even ever consider of looking or thought of another
woman. So when I move on and didn't even know how the hell I was going
to start my life over again and all this dating stuff. I'm not a young stud
like I use to be. I was 37 at the time.
Other women started coming into my life.
After her bindge...she found out about the other women.
It pissed her off. What did it matter what women I got involve with ?
I told her , if it wasn't her....obviuisely it's going with someone else.
How much longer must I wait...and what freanken relationship did we have.
She sytematically started tanting my relationships with other women.
I'm still being accused of cheating on her amoungs many other things.
And the last thing on my mind is another relationship at the moment.
But she dosen't see it like I do....
"it's been freanken madness.. the last thing I need is another special relationship at the moment"
My perception has changes over the years about cheat.
everything starts with me. My recovery starts with me.
My not cheating on myself starts with me.
I'm no longer a jealouse type of person. It can be a bitch at times.
my Gf can have as many guys as she wants 13th step her , emailing her.
What dose it matter how many guys she talks to or get invlolve with ?
If it's not with me...it's not with me. if she dosen't love me, she dosen't
love me. Why get jeaoulse ?? It only pushes me further away.
Ultimately I get to this piont. Nope ....I don't think like a woman !!!