So Tired
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Cypress, Ca
Posts: 3
So Tired
I am so tired of fighting. I am on another run on speed. Doctor supplied. Late at night 12:00 now. I got this script on thursday 90 prescribed, ritalin 20 mg, and I have about ten left.
My brain feels fried. I am writing this because I can't stand my mind talking to me.
I have a wife and kids, am 55, been fighting drugs and alcohol since 1972. i stay sober for a while then i either get drunk or loaded. havnt drunk in four or five months. get a new script every month.
GOD DAMN ME!
I would end it if it wernt for family but I cant take this much longer. I am dreading comming down. my jaw is sore from biting down, my head aches, my mind is telling me hateful things..............................HELPHELPHELPHE LPEHLP........i need help now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know what to do now but wait
will watch this for a while.
My brain feels fried. I am writing this because I can't stand my mind talking to me.
I have a wife and kids, am 55, been fighting drugs and alcohol since 1972. i stay sober for a while then i either get drunk or loaded. havnt drunk in four or five months. get a new script every month.
GOD DAMN ME!
I would end it if it wernt for family but I cant take this much longer. I am dreading comming down. my jaw is sore from biting down, my head aches, my mind is telling me hateful things..............................HELPHELPHELPHE LPEHLP........i need help now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont know what to do now but wait
will watch this for a while.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Hang on, youngbuck. Take a deep breath. You are not alone.
You said you've been fighting this disease since the 70s. Well, my friend, what can you do differently so that sobriety sticks. There are lots of programs out there and Drs. and rehabs and therapist. AA is what got me sober and keeps me that way.
Call the AA or NA hotline. Someone will be there who cares and who can help.
Hang in there, my friend. There IS a way out of the hell of addiction. Dump the pills, tie a knot on that rope and just hang on.
You said you've been fighting this disease since the 70s. Well, my friend, what can you do differently so that sobriety sticks. There are lots of programs out there and Drs. and rehabs and therapist. AA is what got me sober and keeps me that way.
Call the AA or NA hotline. Someone will be there who cares and who can help.
Hang in there, my friend. There IS a way out of the hell of addiction. Dump the pills, tie a knot on that rope and just hang on.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
(((((YoungBuck)))))
I feel your pain my friend. I have 12 weeks on Tuesday free from crystal meth. I can completely relate to the pain you are in. It sounds like you really need to go to an NA meeting. If what you aren't doing isn't working for you, change what you are doing to find something that will work for you.
I got so sick of depending on my dealer, of being suicidal, of only staying alive to not crush someone if I took my life. I hated it, I hated bein me.
It's just something you have to decide and tell yourself that NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL NOT USE, WILL STOP RUNNING, etc....... Stopping the madness and insanity in our heads is so hard....... It feels next to impossible.
I didn't think I could EVER live without meth. It gave me so many things. Yes, I still miss is sometimes, but my life has improved so much in twelve short weeks, it's amazing. You will be amazed at what life has to offer if you stop the drugs.
I don't know if you know who Elizabeth Wurtzel is, she wrote Prozac Nation, and then wrote a book called, Now, More, Again. It's about her when she was addicted to ritalin.
I hope you get yourself some help. It's too hard to do this alone. Why not call the guys at NA.......
I feel your pain my friend. I have 12 weeks on Tuesday free from crystal meth. I can completely relate to the pain you are in. It sounds like you really need to go to an NA meeting. If what you aren't doing isn't working for you, change what you are doing to find something that will work for you.
I got so sick of depending on my dealer, of being suicidal, of only staying alive to not crush someone if I took my life. I hated it, I hated bein me.
It's just something you have to decide and tell yourself that NO MATTER WHAT, I WILL NOT USE, WILL STOP RUNNING, etc....... Stopping the madness and insanity in our heads is so hard....... It feels next to impossible.
I didn't think I could EVER live without meth. It gave me so many things. Yes, I still miss is sometimes, but my life has improved so much in twelve short weeks, it's amazing. You will be amazed at what life has to offer if you stop the drugs.
I don't know if you know who Elizabeth Wurtzel is, she wrote Prozac Nation, and then wrote a book called, Now, More, Again. It's about her when she was addicted to ritalin.
I hope you get yourself some help. It's too hard to do this alone. Why not call the guys at NA.......
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