preciouz

It's been a long day, but the first day I felt actually okay inside. I don't know when was the last time I've felt like this. I went to my first meeting today, and it was scarey. I was scared to even go in. I got that gentel push from my boyfriend, and found the courage to go it. I was quiet as hell, but when i did introduce myself I did what i expected to happen. I broke down and couldn't even say all that i wanted to say. I know your suppose to go to at least 6 before you feel comfortable, but I really liked it & after a few minutes I felt like this is a place that I can feel safe at. Which is a nice change in feeling. Also, i haven't been here long, but i find this as a safe place too. You really do care, and that is a great feeling. I also found a therapist, and They will be calling me back next week and i will get that going. I know so far all my posts have been extremely heated in terms of my attitude, but I want all of you to know that I am not always feeling like that. *I know you knew that already * I have enless amounts of self help books, and continue to read more self help books. It ranges from self love, toxic people, toxic relationships, health related stress issues, family, abuse.. trust me i've probably read almost everything! Anyways, I have found allot of peace because of what I have learned on my own, and the chances I have taken to actually change this path I am living. For the most part, i have found ways to be happy and my future looks promising. I know that by taking these chances, I will have bigger walls to break on my way before its finally over with my dad. I know that day will come soon where I will finally shut him out and never think of him again.

Just wanted to share that, Today is a good day.

utopia

welcome to recovery p. you dont have to go to 6 before you feel comfy, its just suggested to go to 6 meetings before deciding if you want to keep going, commit yourself to a life in recovery, or just today. i hope things continue to grow and improve in your life as they have for me thanks to recovery. the goods days are really good. much love.

kennethhoff

Hey P,

I am only on meeting#4, so we are almost starting together. I know how you feel. I think it will be good, for both of us, ya know!

Peace,
Ken

blueglass

Good for you preciouz!

There aren't any ACoA groups in my area, and I've been tossing the idea of starting one around, but if I do it will be a ways into the future - health issues to deal with right now.

I was almost crying when I read your posting, I'm so happy for you! I'd be impressed if I could get out my name let alone anything else, cuz I'm kinda the sobby one in my family *lol*

Let us know how it goes when you have time. I've heard they get a lot easier after the first time, and people become a sort of extended family... just like here.

(((hugs)))

utopia

hee hee, I had my first meeting today, of the year that is, thank god for the lifeline of recovery which for me is meetings.

preciouz

"Hey, P" <---- I like that

kennethhoff, utopia, and bleuglass Thanks!! Glad that we are all in it together with everyone else. it's one of the best things that have happen to me. I am taking my sister to her first meeting tomorrow. This is good for us.

preciouz

Last night i went ot my 2nd meeting and i took my sister along. She loved it and i learned a few things about her. It has brough us closer and she told me she wants to keep coming back. She also told me it was the first time she actually felt better. She thanked me for bringing her and that was so nice to hear. The ripple effect has begun! Life can be good.

blueglass

That's fantastic to hear! Let the healing begin!