bahookie

Hey

It's all kicked off here again and I've basically been told to pack.

you know what the bad thing is? All I can think of is how to furnish a house with no money.

Life sucks sometimes, can someone tell me I can really do this?

j
xxx

cwohio

oh jane - i am so sorry that things have taken a dive. can't give you any advice on furnishing a house with no money but if you come over here i have lots of stuff i really don't need that you can have. LOL

(((jane)))

TexasGirl

Hi Jane,
I'm sorry this is happening. Yes, you can do this. Absolutely! And so what if you don't have perfectly coordinated, nice furniture for a bit. I'm sure dinner tastes just as good off a mismatched, cheap table as it would on a nice one! With time everything will come together. In the meantime, take care...I know you must be feeling down...

lojomama

I'm somewhat new, so don't know everyone very well, but I'm terrribly sorry to hear what has happened. I hope this comes off OK, but I'm a big "craigslist" junkie, and have found lots of things there that were in decent shape. Alot of it for free. I just bought a new (to me) dining set & couch (w/cover) for less than $60. And if you lived anywhere near me, I have a loveseat & matching chair that need a new home!

bahookie

Just been looking online and yes, the initial panic is unfounded.
Course I can do it.

I just hope I have the strength to really move out if she changes her mind.
It's just so hard after being so patient and supportive for so long.
It's very difficult to look past the disease sometimes.

Cheap carpets here I come!

J
xxx

cwohio

jane - many moons ago (like 25) i left a physically abusive relationship - took a 1000 mile bus trip to ohio with 2 suitcases. stayed with my sister and her family for a while, but to make a point...i started out with next to nothing and was able to find a good job (which I am still in today), apartment, furniture and did fine. you are a strong lady and i know whatever comes, you will survive!

Zoey

Is there still such a thing as a furnished studio apt??

equus

I'm so sorry you've got this to deal with - but you can do it!!

As for cheap furnture try auction rooms or large car boots. There should be some in the area that specialise in house clearence and you'd be amazed at the amount of antique oak etc. 10 times better than MFI!! It can be found - my oak wardrobe was £21 (but I had to treat woodworm!!), dressing table £6 (oak with age crazed mirror) etc etc. It's fun looking too.

Take care

DesertEyes

Hey there Jane,

I moved out not too long ago to a different town. Pretty much for the same reasons as you. Best move I ever made. I signed up at all the local meetings of the 12 step program and shared just a little of what I was going thru. I discovered that most everybody here has a garage full of furniture they don't want. I coulda furnished a whole apartment building !!! I felt bad turning people down and directing them to take their wonderful gifts next door to the Salvation Army.

Now I have more furniture than I know what to do with, a whole bunch new friends, and a great relationship with the folks who run the Salvation Army ;-)

Mike :-)

Jazzman

Sorry to hear this Jane. I get this feeling that you will be just fine. You just gotta go through the process. Just make sure you take the PC so you can stay with us... Keep your sense of humor and stick to your boundaries, in case they get shaken a bit... Love ya lots!

gelfling

(((((((((((((Jane)))))))))))))

Stand Strong, head up and shoot for the moon.

Blessings

CodeMaster

Stay strong, you can take out any challenges you way. Its all meant to happen the way it was suppose to, Destiny's guidance that is.

FriendofBill

Not only can you get thru it,,but when you do, you will have a feeling of great courage and accomplishment that only comes from putting on yer big girl panties and dealing with it.

Cant wait for you to experience the feeling of overcoming and feeling strong!

prodigal

By all means, look in the used furniture or for sale section of the Sunday paper for used furniture, go to the Salvation Army or ask friends for hand-me-downs they no longer wish to keep.

When I left my former AH, I had a love seat, end table with lamp, color t.v., stereo system (couldn't figure out how to hook it up), a bed and two end tables in my bedroom with a lamp, a dresser, and a small computer put-it-together-yourself desk for my computer.

In hindsight, I believe I was truly "rich" and blessed! I ate with a plate on my lap for three months before I bought a coffee table for my living room. I lived in my apartment for almost five months before I bought a dining room table, four chairs, and a china hutch (thanks to Pier I!).

It was no picnic, but I was willing to take handouts or "donations." As frightening as it was to go it alone, I look back on it as one of the most satisfying times of my life. I was able to overcome obstacles and my Higher Power walked through it with me every step of the way. I learned a great deal.

You CAN make it and you WILL make it. Reach out, reach up, and just be sure you have a roof over your head and food on your plate. I found I was grateful for that and it made the sad/bad times far more bearable.

CarolD

Yes Jane...you will be OK.

I have started from scratch 3 times.
This apartement was furnished from my AA friends
and they delivered too!

I also lived in a YWCA and another firnished room.
Not great but doable while I saved money.

Blessings...

bahookie

Of course this morning she's really sorry.
Just don't know if I can put up with it.

Still thinking. Made alist last night of everything I'd need and yes, I can definitely do it. I got great support from my friends too.

It was just a moment of panic, and I came here and you all made me feel so much better. Sitting this morning watching my wee son snowboarding put it all in perspective.

Time for a hard, hard think.

Thanks everyone

Jane
xxx

minnie

Jane, the game seems to be in full flow. Funny how the stakes have been raised since you really got the hang of detachment, isn't it?

How was the weekend?

bahookie

Yes, it does.

I thought something similar, but not quite so well formed.

The weekend was pretty awful to tell the truth. She was being clawingly nice, even to the point of making me a cup of tea. I know that sounds daft, but it's a rarity, not that she doesn't do tons of other things, but never tea.

I'm in no state to make any kind of decisions right now. My older boy was a nightmare yesterday and I actually drove off and left him to get the bus home. He's nearly 16, 6ft tall and has a deep, resonating voice. He was being so rude in the cinema, talking about the man in front of him and how big his head was that I was totally mortified. It seems that nothing I say has any validity for him and my reservoir of patience is empty.

Maybe I just recognise the lack of respect now instead of writing it off to teenage angst and arrogance.

I'm just empty, I've had it.

So, since I can see that the only way from here is up, I'm going to go easy on myself until the upturn comes.

and lots of tea, because it helps no matter what the situation.

thank you for your thoughts everyone

Jane
xxx

Jazzman

Sorry to hear about the roller coaster ride. I know it all too well. I have a spunky 12 year old that can sometimes try my patience, ( swear I think he's from Yorkshire) When I was in the thiick of it w/ my ex, my patience was very low for my son. Now that I can focus on him our relationship has really improved. A lot of one on one time with individual attention seems to work wonders for him.

bahookie

Hey Jazz
I was thinking along the same lines this morning, but you know what? I don't think that right now I've got much more to give.
He's good in school, STILL got the same girlfriend, is nice to old people and cats. Doesn't like dogs though. The trouble is that he was old enough to see his dad treat me the way he did and I think it's stuck in his head. There's no respect sometimes and I just won't have it around me.

enough of the rant, I think I've just had it with everyone!

LOL
J
xxx
Ps actually, you know what? I think that maybe being rude to 6ft 5 rugby-player, brick shi* house sort, and what happens as a consequence is a lesson a 16 year old smarty-pants might have to learn for himself.
that's how mean I'm feeling.