nytepassion

I am a fighter by nature and in turn I am a survivor.In my life I have been in many situations where it came down to a matter of fight or else.


I chose to fight

I think my strength comes from having to endure being violated (in every aspect of the word) by a stepfather from age 3 to 14 ... I left home at 14 1/2 ... I came home to visit my mom from time to time and at age 17 my stepdad thought he was going to push me around and I shoved his ass down the porch stairs and got in his face and said, I am not that scared little girl you used to cuss out and push around. I am not going to let you touch me, my mother, or anyone else in this house. You will never touch me again. You will never hurt me again ... nope, ain't gonna happen ... I'm not afraid of you anymore .. I will kick your ass to hell and back. So you best just back the fk up and watch your step. He looked shocked and became all timid. I was shocked at myself because I didn't know where all that bravery came from ... but it felt wonderful to take a stand for myself.

There were many other times that I had to take a stand and stop different forms of violations against me, but whatever it was eventually was left in the dust of me taking a stand for myself and fighting tooth and nail for what I knew was right.

I have fought sexual, mental, physical, emotional abuse, rape, alcohol and drug addiction ... and the things that those lifestyles entail. I am a survivor.

I have tried to fight against someone elses addiction, but it is not possible to win ... they have to fight for themselves.

In order to be a survivor you have to be a fighter.

If you're an addict you have to fight to get clean. You have to fight with everything you've got to stay clean.

You won't survive if you don't fight. Addiction can only take you down ... There are no up's in addiction except for up all night or up for days and weeks at a time, but that is as up as you'll get everything else is down.

On the way down, you lose yourself, your kids, spouse, family, friends, home, car, clothes, respect, dignity, hygiene, looks, mental & physical health, valuable time - time that you can't get back.

If you are an addict and you want to take a stand for yourself and get clean ... Know that it will be a fight. Addiction doesn't just magically disapear ... it takes dedication, a commitment, and perseverance ... if you get knocked down it takes getting back up as fast as your ass hit the ground and getting right back on track ... don't sit there and think about things ... there is no time for that. Get up get on track then if you need to think back and try to figure out what happened ...

If you want to get off dope ... fight with the fury of a survivor and you will become one.

Passion
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Gooch

This is one of the ultimate realities of addiction.

And fighting for oneself doesn't mean they have to fight by themselves.

This is the only battle where victory comes through surrender.

Surrendering to a set of principles thats helped so many win the war.

Moontime

I love when I heard "lose the fight and win the surrender." It changed my attitude about recovery.

nutz

I can relate. it's basicailly my story

here's some late 70's lyrics by a canadian band.
loved it the first time I heard it, love it now.

days grows shorter, nights are getting long
feels like we're running out of times
everyday seems much harder to tell right from wrong
you've got to read between the lines

don't get discourage
don't be afraid
you know what you've got to do
Fight the good fight....everyday
every moment , everyday
it's your only way

all your life i've been searching,
where you fit in into the plan
you're the master of your own desteny
so give and take the best that you can
nothing good is easy
nothing good is free
take a look inside your heart
there's an answer in your heart

fight the good fight
every moment, everyday

REZ

"You won't survive if you don't fight". I understand where you're coming from, but I prefer to use metaphors that are not so violent. I have found that I need to become willing to change, willing to let go of old ideas, reservations, friends, and behaviors, willing to listen, willing to work the steps, willing to go to meetings, willing to help others, willing to pray and meditate, willing to do what it takes.

Time2Surrender

No offense,but I see a lot of anger in this post.And it's very understandable.I am so sorry to hear what your step dad did.Hopefully this is something that can evenually be worked out through the steps of Narcotics Anonymous.The thought of "fighting" to stay clean everyday just doesnt sound like it's for me.I have tried it.At one time my user name here at SoberRecovery was "NeverSurrender" Ever since I made a decision to surrender to God and to recovery,my life has become much easier and so has staying clean.

nutz

It's a metapor or positive attitude for me. it's perceptions
Or with vigelaince..I don't get hung up on terms.
you know..god, hp, h-p or whatever words use to communicate
Passion straight from the heart and it's real
and it cuts through a lot of BS.
I had to earn my recovery...I didn't just attent meetings
and then wam bam thank you mam....I recovered.
or in other words " YOU GOTTA WANT IT" or
"WIlling to go to aNY length"

nytepassion

I'm sure there is some anger in my post ... I wrote it shortly after losing a loved one to addiction ... he had tried to get clean on different occassions, but always relasped ... he didn't fight for his life ... he didn't fight the cravings he gave into them .... he listened to the cunning and deceiveing voice of addiction ... he didn't fight ...

The road to recovery is pathed with battles (the battles are what helps you to build your strength) you know surrenderence is a two way street .. and when the old tapes play over in your head or dope starts calling your name ... if you don't fight ... you might find yourself at the mercy of your addiction ...

In my opinion a recovering addicts worst enemy is complacency.
Passion

splendra

I believe I did have to fight for my sobriety. I believe I understand passions post here. I do not think I know one person who has gotten clean that did not have some kind of struggle...

Time2Surrender

Sorry to hear about your loss.I've been there.And I can assure you I am by no means complacent in my recovery.Thats why I still go to a meeting everyday.I sit in a meeting and look around.I realize we are all survivors.

Time2Surrender

Getting clean was definately a struggle and a fight for me too.I dont deny that.I just feel if someone is actually working a program of recovery the struggle becomes less and less.I only have 6 months.But staying clean is not nearly as hard as it was.

Gooch

exactly .. boils down to making the conscious choice to surrender to the recovery process or automatically surrender to the disease .. there's no standing still or coasting. Heard a real great convention speaker sharing that he discovered for himself, That if we are not moving toward recovery we are sliding away from it.

splendra

Recovery is so interesting for me after 20 years clean from drugs and alcohol. I have now have more clean time than stoned time. But I have had my moments in sobriety even after years clean when I would pass a car that the occupants were smoking pot and I could smell it and it smelled good and the thought of using hung out with me. Drinking doesn't bother me at all any more the smell helps me out there cause alcohol really stinks to me and so do cigarettes

lafever chris

I think another word that would work good for you insted of fighting would be courage. I can tell you were upset when you wrote your thread, your in my heart and my prayers, i can relate to losing a loved one to addiction. We hurt because we can feel again.
chris

P.S. god bless

hopealwayz

I understand the concept of what the fight entails. On the days when the mental obsession kicked into overdrive, it was a fight. It is a struggle at times.