Rho

Am I a true sucker, or is love just blind?

My husband and I have been living in seperate homes since Feb last year when we BOTH decided to get clean and sober. Well thanks to my HP I have been DRUG free for 1yr & almost 7months now. I wish the same for my AH. I was doing well untill Feb of this year and he started using and drunking again, right after him and I started spending time together. I put up that wall once again, and then he started going to meetings again telling me he was sorry and that "it was just a glitch in the system that he was having". So I started to warm up to him again and spend a few nights here and tbere with him, he slipped again and I flipped and said I lowered you chikd support (for our now 3 yr old son) and have not gone after the $3000 grand from last year that you owe me for back sbhild support and told him I was NOT goingto allow him to see his son agaian.

Well he went to meeting FINALLY got a job and decided to go back to college to better himself (hes 33). Well after being positive and doing nice things and being his loving self making me feel loved and special thinking about giving him another shot and getting an apartment together and i would pay all the bills (like always for the 3 years we have been married). Everything has been great we went to the beack last Saturday with our son had a WONDERFUL time. We decided to leave the beach and while driving home he said he wanted us to go to dinner, I was like sure. Heasked to stop at the 7 11 on the way home and he walked out with 2 coors light. I got upset and he was like but honey I got one for you to and "it is just 1 beer, no biggy". I let it go DIDN'T want to fight or argue, I dropped him off at his moms (where he has been staying) with our sin and I told him I as going to go home(to my moms) take a shower and get cleaned up and go back to get him so the 3 of us can go to dinner.

Well 45 minutes later I went to pick him up and he was not there, but are son was with his mom. I asked where is he, she answered "I don't know Ro he left to get cigs 1 hour ago". I sat there for another 45 minutes, no husband, So at a 2 hout MIA I went to take our son for McDonalds and while driving something told me to drive towards the bay a dead end where I know he would go to while smoking crack to check to see if he would be there.

Sick thing he was I looked at him and said "Honey please tell me you are not F-ing up again". He said "Honey yeah but please DON'T be mad". I looked at him and said Honey we are over and drove away with our son.

He is acting like NOTHING WRONG happened nad wants us to get a place to gether.

Is he crazy? Will the drugs ever STOP?!?! Sick thing is becasue he is a recovering addict the state is paying for him to go to school paying for his books, and the check he got for his books, well he went ou and smoked it up but yet can't get money to pay me child support . What do I do???????? I pray but it does not seem to help...

cwohio

oh rho - i can't tell you how many times my AH & i went thru the second chance thing. the little kernals of hope would sprout only to wither up and die till there were none left. you have to think of yourself and your son. i didn't have children to deal with so i can't imagine how hard it must be. i prayed and i think i finally let go at the end because i knew that there was nothing i could possibly do but concentrate on me. it is terribly hard to accept that we are totally powerless over the addiction but we must truly surrender to that in order to take the next steps in our lives whatever they may be. i pray that you will know in your heart what is best for you and your son. please keep coming back here to talk with us.

CatsTail

The inner desire has to come from within them, nothing we can say or do will make that happen.

Think of you and your son.

Ngaire

FriendofBill

Ever try al-anon or nar-anon?

They work.

threefingers

when the time is right to make a change, you wil know it

Beautiful

Friends of ours had a similar situation. He told her that when she was clean and sober for 1 year then they could start dating again. She keeps falling off of the wagon. You'll know when you've had enough. For me, it started when my children were born. I could think of nothing worse than to have them growing up thinking that girls were "less than" boys and, simply by virtue of a vagina, were doomed to a live of modern day slavery. Maybe worse, they would turn out like their father and be a monster in sheep's clothing. That I knew it and did nothing about it. That gave me complete incentive to grow some balls....and they're BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC balls, baby!