Visitation for Alcoholic Father
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere Ca
Posts: 26
Visitation for Alcoholic Father
It has been a long time since I posted here, and the situation is unchanged. My daughter has finally said enough, no more trying to work this out, no more chances.
The greatest concern is the 2 small children, 3 and 20 mths. Alcoholic father thinks he should have them for the weekend. Sure he'll swear he won't drink, but we've all been down that path. The other night, when my daughter returned home from work, she couldn't awaken the A. Not even with the large dog barking and her shaking him could he wake up. The front door was unlocked, with him unconscious and 2 little girls sleeping.
The agreement to getting back together was no alcohol in the house, well he clearly isn't keeping that agreement.
Any thoughts on how to keep the babies safe from this man, and still let them see their father?
The greatest concern is the 2 small children, 3 and 20 mths. Alcoholic father thinks he should have them for the weekend. Sure he'll swear he won't drink, but we've all been down that path. The other night, when my daughter returned home from work, she couldn't awaken the A. Not even with the large dog barking and her shaking him could he wake up. The front door was unlocked, with him unconscious and 2 little girls sleeping.
The agreement to getting back together was no alcohol in the house, well he clearly isn't keeping that agreement.
Any thoughts on how to keep the babies safe from this man, and still let them see their father?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 2
Abugslife
My father was a "functional" alcoholic. He was able to care for us, even had us from the time I was ten... me and my brother who was 3 years younger. However, I have many many memories of him drinking and did not like to be around him when he was that way. He even was brought home passed out once when he were suppose to spend time together because we went to my mom for Christmas, and our regular babysitter had to drive us to the airport the next day because he was to hungover.
In the ultimate irony, my father was killed by a drunk driver, and never admittted he was an alcoholic. I tell you all this as the child of an alcoholic because, it does affect me and it affects my life. It has very much affected the man I chose for my husband, and now I am going through something similar with him.
I think it is important that the kids have their father in their lives, in some manner. But from my perspective as a child of an acoholic I would want my mother to do everything possible to keep me away from the acoholic when they are drinking. She cannot trust him, he needs to earn that trust. She has to know this will be the same for her kids. My father let me down more times than I can count, she should protect her kids from that as much as possible. I don't know the hows, but I can definately relate to the whys. I'm not sure this will help, but I thought it might be a good perspective to show. I wish her all the best.
My father was a "functional" alcoholic. He was able to care for us, even had us from the time I was ten... me and my brother who was 3 years younger. However, I have many many memories of him drinking and did not like to be around him when he was that way. He even was brought home passed out once when he were suppose to spend time together because we went to my mom for Christmas, and our regular babysitter had to drive us to the airport the next day because he was to hungover.
In the ultimate irony, my father was killed by a drunk driver, and never admittted he was an alcoholic. I tell you all this as the child of an alcoholic because, it does affect me and it affects my life. It has very much affected the man I chose for my husband, and now I am going through something similar with him.
I think it is important that the kids have their father in their lives, in some manner. But from my perspective as a child of an acoholic I would want my mother to do everything possible to keep me away from the acoholic when they are drinking. She cannot trust him, he needs to earn that trust. She has to know this will be the same for her kids. My father let me down more times than I can count, she should protect her kids from that as much as possible. I don't know the hows, but I can definately relate to the whys. I'm not sure this will help, but I thought it might be a good perspective to show. I wish her all the best.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Somewhere Ca
Posts: 26
Thanks Kellye
I will make sure my daughter sees this. I know that in her heart she knows what you are saying is the case. She is feeling such guilt for primarily her older daughter. It will be good to hear from someone who has already lived that life and what you wished your mom would have been able to do for you.
Thank you very much for sharing this with me.
I will make sure my daughter sees this. I know that in her heart she knows what you are saying is the case. She is feeling such guilt for primarily her older daughter. It will be good to hear from someone who has already lived that life and what you wished your mom would have been able to do for you.
Thank you very much for sharing this with me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
