brdlvr2

I am trying to make changes to my own habits. My primary support is WFS but am also starting to attend AA for fellowship. My question to those of you who quit drinking and were also in a relationship with an alcoholic: Did you have to end your relationship ( dating or otherwise) in order to start to heal yourself. Or did you deal with the stress of trying to change your own life and still deal with the stress of having a relationship with an active alcoholic.

I think in my situtation it is easier to cut him out of my life, but then on the other hand, it's nice to have somebody to do non-drinking stuff with when they are in their sober mode.

Any advice?

Thanks!

CatsTail

My experience was when I quit drinking and started A.A I didn't have anyone in my life and didn't for a couple of years after.

It was good because I didn't have anything to give to a relationship, I was going to meetings everyday and adjusting to a life sober with a child.

Basically relationships throw us off track in our early sobriety.

You made the comment it's nice to have someone to do things with in their sober mode. One thing about getting sober is we have to also learn how to be alone and do things on our own without the crutch of a relationship.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Ngaire

Cap3

Hi,brd1vr2,i was 10 years sober,by Gods grace, before my hub came to the doors of AA.We are together,before and during this time.,and still are,as of today..His drinking during that time,never bothered me.Actually it became a remember when for me.In the Big Book,3rd edition it tells me,that i can get well regardless of anyone.Page 98.The only condition be,that i trust in God and clean house.My recovery is not dependent upon people.It is dependent,upon my relationship with God.And here is where i focus on.The BB tells me,all depends if im spiritually fit.If i am,i can go anywheres and be with anybody,it won't affect my recovery.As your living in recovery programs and changing,you will eventually know which path is yours to take.
Keep on keeping on,
God Bless,and take care!!!!!!!!!...One Day At A Time.

GettingBy

I really like what you posted, Cap. Thanks for sharing your recovery with us.

Shannon

cwohio

i second that - cap3 - you are truly amazing and what the program is all about! thank you for always sharing you ES&H!

hugs - christie

brdlvr2

Thanks for the advice. You are right. Continue to work on me and I will find my path. (Well I did last night - another post). Guess it's time to find out what I like to do and be content to do it by myself.