CAPTAINZING2000

At least, I didn't used to think I did. Ever notice, everyone else's character defects seem to be worse than ours?

Sitting at the meeting last night and hearing a guy list his shortcomings, I could so relate. Being in AA has been a real eye opener. By being sober, my eyes are open to the fact my character has needs for improvement.

Having compassion for other people was something lacking in my character. lack of empathy might have been my biggest shortcoming. The world always revolved around us right? Being in here and at meetings has me taking a deep look inside myself. I do care for my fellow man today. My self seeking has slipped a little bit.

nocellphone

I was in a recovery workshop once and a guy said, "I don't have character defects. I have... improvable behavior patterns!" He was serious, too.

When it was my turn to share, I said someting to the effect of, "Uh, I don't have 'improvable behavior pattenrs'. I have character defects, and they're trying to kill me. If I soften and change the language I use when I deal with these things, I will lose sight of the seriousness of the situation. I can't afford that, 'cos my life depends on it. The Steps call 'em 'defects of character', so that's what I'm calling 'em".

Through working the Steps, I've found freedom from many of my character defects! That's not to say they're gone, but many have been reduced... for today.

findingout

Oh yeah baby, the character defects of others shine brightly but mine are barely visible to naked eye and the longer I stare at the bright light of other's defects the harder is becomes to see my own.

I think one of the gifts I have received from A.A. is the knowledge that I do have these defects or "improvable behavior patterns ", that I can actually do something about them and the certainty that there is an ideal out there that I can strive for even if I will never obtain it. We are not saints.

It's the trying that matters and it's the trying that puts more between me and my last drink than simply the number of days.

Thanks CAPTAINZING2000

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

Millwallj

Captain, I might add that social scientists and pschologists say there is no difference between an alcoholic personality and that of a non alky. In other words, only after years of drinking, to our personalities become deformed into defects.

All my problems today are human. I dont agree they have anything, at all, to do with my drinking.

CAPTAINZING2000

I've often heard at meetings that, out emotional maturity gets stunted to when, we start drinking. I've often wondered if that was true!!!!

BikerBill8

Hey Chris, Yes that is true i started drinking at the age of 13 and that is where i was when i got sober. Today i am getting older in my mind i can do things that i couldn't do when i was drinking.

Slowbriety

If you can spot it, you got it.

i know after i did my 6th and 7th step i finally got that release. and i didnt do those steps RIGHT after my 5th, i waited for like 2 weeks and it sucked b/c i knew what my defects were and i could see them in me but i didnt know what to do with them. but that 6th and 7th step was some powerful stuff for me.

Secondchances

Well, I can vouch for the fact I am 13 when it comes to boys. Guess I skipped that part of development.

Far as character defects, I think there are normies out there with FAR worse defects than I possess. Difference is, their defects will probably not result in their self-destructing. Mine will, hence I guess I need to address them at some point.