Lauriejess

Well, once again my father exhibited what a mindless jerk he is. I attended my nephew's graduation party yesterday with my 14 yr. old daughter and my hubby. While sitting at a table next to my father he looks at my daughter and remarks "what did you do with your hair, you look like a walrus". I felt the incredible rush back through the years to when I was her age and younger and the horrible emotional abuse he inflicted upon me causing me emotional pain right to this day. I asked him to not be mean and I told my daughter to disregard every word he speaks. I left very shortly after that and again in the car reminded my daughter that he is a sick alcoholic and that whatever he says is ridiculous and not true. She, I hope, just disregarded the remark because I've raised her with tons of love and made sure she delveloped good self esteem.

I hate my father for what he did to me as a child and I hate the fact that all these years later he thinks that he could even attempt to treat my child that way! NEVER would I let that happen.

Laurie

Luckyv2

I know for me sometimes I say and react without thinking first and that is not right. But then I have to work the steps and make an ammend when I have done that and that is quite a bit. I am sorry that you have to deal with this, but as long as there is breath there is hope for anyone, including me. I know I have said somethings in the past towards my children and the only way to make it right is to be different today

historyteach

Laurie;
I'm sorry that you suffered as a result of your dad's alcoholism.
I'm glad you are showing your daughter a better way.
He is sick. And suffering. And alcoholism is a family disease.
You appear to be healing from that disease. You hate what he did; what he is still trying to do. Those are manifestations of his illness. But, you've seperated that behavior from the person he is.
Kudos!!! YOu are a great example for the rest of us!
Shalom!

Lauriejess

My father used to tell me I was lucky I was smart becauase "lets be honest, you wont win any beauty contests Sarah." Nice huh. This at the age of 12.

Not too nice at all!! I'm very sorry for the emotional abuse you suffered at the hands of another mean spirit.

Laurie

nocellphone

Welcome to SR, Lauriejess...


For years, I thought my stepfather was little more than a frickin' a$$hole. Then I found recovery in Al-Anon and finally understood that what I thought was pure a$$holery was actually alcoholism...

I've learned that "hurt people hurt people". Now, this doesn't make his cruelty ok by any means, but it allows me a window of compassion toward him. A person's gotta be in tremendous pain to treat another human being in such a way. For me, acceptance does not mean condoning. It just helps me to live my life in a healthy manner despite the sick behaviors of others.

I'm sorry for your pain...



By the way, I lived in New Baltimore (next to Ravena) from 1982-1991. That makes us practically neighbors!

I wish you peace...

aadako

I am also sorry about what is going on with your father. Personally though, I think that you need to let go of what he did to you as a child. Through talking to my dad and understanding what is going on with my mom right now, you have to realize the fact that it's the alcoholism taking over your dad, not your dad's actual....oh i don't think i can say this right. um okay. it's like dr jekyl and mr hyde. when your dad drinks he becomes dr jekyl but when he doesn't he's mr hyde, and when the doc comes out is when stuff gets ugly. I'm not sure if that will help you but it seemed to have helped me