I am also sorry about what is going on with your father. Personally though, I think that you need to let go of what he did to you as a child. Through talking to my dad and understanding what is going on with my mom right now, you have to realize the fact that it's the alcoholism taking over your dad, not your dad's actual....oh i don't think i can say this right. um okay. it's like dr jekyl and mr hyde. when your dad drinks he becomes dr jekyl but when he doesn't he's mr hyde, and when the doc comes out is when stuff gets ugly. I'm not sure if that will help you but it seemed to have helped me
