Victormeldrew

Try as I do,all I can muster is 3/4 days denial before the shakes start.
Me body is pleading for me to stop,AA only makes me welcome and feel safe.

What is the missing link?


Vic.

Dan

Hi Victor, and welcome.
Powerful question.

For me, I found the link, it seems, once I accepted that the pain of continuing to drink was going to be worse than the pain of yet another horrendous withdrawal episode.
That special sweat, the shakes, the insomnia.

I had to go to rehab. Voluntarily.
There was no other option for me.

So I stuck the shakes out for a week the last time.
They wouldn't have given me a bed in treatment if I wasn't detoxed.

I became willing, I suppose.

2dayzmuse

Working the program with your sponsor and having a relationship with your HP.
There is a solution, but you have to work at it.

Music

What is the missing link?? Most people don't like to use this word in relation to newcomers, but I believe the missing link is the "honest" desire to stop drinking. How do I know it's "honest?" I DON'T DRINK ANY MORE, NO MATTER WHAT!! I do, on a daily basis, whatever I have to do to not take that first drink.

findingout

There you go Victormeldrew. As plain and straight forward as you could wish. There is no road to where you want to go that doesn't eventually involve this simple but not always so easy step.

However, if you are experiencing severe withdrawal from the alcohol when you stop drinking, by all means please seek professional, medical help (aka a doctor) in getting off the stuff. How do you know if it's severe?
Start here
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withd.../aa000125a.htm
and here
http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/withdraw/a/aa030307a.htm
One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless
Tony

collinsmi

A long time ago, I was in a meeting with my sponsor. There was this guy who told a terribly sad story, and was in tears for almost all of it. I said to my sponsor "That guy MUST be ready to work steps!". My sponsor replied, "No, he just wants to want it". The guy left, and I never saw him again, to the best of my knowledge. This stuck in my mind, and I thought my sponsor both cryptic and cruel for his remarks, and I thought of that experience from time to time. Later it dawned on me what he meant! Of course, as soon as the meeting ended, he was surrounded with people offering help (phone numbers and sponsorship), but he brushed them aside and left the meeting. He hated where he was, but probably loved it too, at least at some subconscious level. Have you ever found yourself in some terrible, drawn out situation, and thought "I must love this, cause I keep finding myself at this point"? Bottom line is, as much pain as that guy was in, he didn't take the offered help. He hadn't got to that point of surrender.
You don't sound good, Victor. Don't listen to those people who say "for us, to drink is to die". There's plenty of people sitting around in institutions, wearing diapers, with their minds flickering in and out like a light bulb that needs to be replaced. I want to want to quit smoking, but I just fired one up! I'm not willing to do what it takes to quit. When I was finally willing to quit drinking I got a sponsor and did the steps the way he showed me.

Best of luck to you, I know what it's like to be there!

Music

On the contrary Victor. I think you should listen and read in the Big Book of AA where it says, "for us to drink, is to die." Only problem is, it doesn't say how we're going to die. I'd say sitting in an institution in a diaper with my mind flickering in and out is dieing. Just not dieing fast enough.

BikerBill8

Go meetings and if you are that bad go to the hospital and they can help.

fraankie

the missing link?
that's a good one
it may be not many stick around to experience
the desire to stop drinking
i was a "i want a drink" type guy for a long time
and, at five years or so
the desire to drink, the obsession went awya
it was lifted in a way
of course, i made a lot of meetings, service, worked the steps
and called someone before i took a dring
it takes time
but it does go away
a drink is only as far away as the reach of your hand
but
"wait till the miracle happens"

best
fraankie

Time4Me11

Really good one...

I think that not enough is said about the simple reality and process of getting through the physical symptoms of detox...though true grit, whiteknuckles, hospitalized, rehabbed, chained to a bed...however necessary in your individual case to get to the other side of those 3/4 days, 7 days, etc... until enough poison has left your system and you are able to sense the POSSIBILITY of physically surviving without alcohol in your system, until enough clarity has entered your thinking in order to make any sense of whether you are ready emotionally and spiritually to take the steps in order to stop for good, until you realize that going through that detox is a matter of life or death.

Strength and Courage to you.