Hatboxgirl

I feel like a raw nerve ending. Like my chest is opened up and my insides are exposed. I have almost come to tears a few times today and I feel like I want to just run out of the office and go screaming down the street! No one here at work knows what I'm trying to do. There are no drinkers here so there isn't anyone to confide in. My husband isn't a talker and my sister is avoiding me now that I have told her I need her support. Her answer to me was that she would support me as much as she could but she intends to keep drinking because now that she has been drinking at night instead of eating dinner, she has lost 9 pounds. I don't know what to say about that answer except that it looks like I won't be getting the kind of support I need. How does everyone handle situations with family members who don't want you to stop?

hopealwayz

I have family members who still try to get me to use right along with them. I began to keep my distance from them. It is hard, but it is even harder to get sucked into their using too. I just focus on myself and don't worry about what happens when I say no to their requests.

It is so hard in the beginning. The emotions flow like a rollercoaster but after awhile they do even out.

Hang in there.

jcw1964

Hang in there hatbox. The devil wants you to be using. He wants the addiction to be in control. Not God. I am sorry that you arent getting the support you need. Like hope said, focus on yourself and let everyone else deal with it. You need to take care of you right now. It doesnt sound like anyone else is, so who will do it? You do have support here. Find some AA meetings, you will find support there too. Make new friends who will help you. An AA meeting would be the best place to find sober friends.
Good luck and keep up the great work.
Jeff

Hatboxgirl

Thanks guys! I just printed out a list of AA meetings in my area. It sure is scary to think of attending one. I never thought I would need to.

Can I ask something? If I drank a bottle of wine most nights, will I have the DTs? Or is what I'm feeling just nerves? I do feel like I'm having some withdrawal symptoms. It's weird. All I can think about is having a glass of wine! I never used to think about it all day the way I have been these last two days.

In memory of miracle

Congradulations on your decision to stop drinking,and yes it is normal to feel like jumping out of your skin especially without a detox.I would encourage you to read Chy"s post on what to expect when you quit drinking.Alcohol withdrawal can be very dangerous and ideally it is done ( detox ) in a medical facility,if you continue to feel bad,please go and get checked out.
As for people who didnt support my recovery,personally I feel they had a problem of their own and I avoided them. Hope you feel better soon. Bless, Trish

Anna

Hi Hatboxgirl,

You need to take care of yourself. I had no one else to confide in either when I stopped drinking. I had frustrated my husband to the point where he just wanted me to stop and had no interest in talking about it anymore. When it comes down to it, it is up to each of us to do this for ourselves.

SR is a good place for support. Don't give up.

Love, Anna

Hatboxgirl

Thanks Trish. I love your avatar. Is that an Amy Brown? She is my son's favorite artist .
I will try to be strong and not worry about support from others. I know I drank too often
and too much. I don't think I'll have terrible physical withdrawal symptoms but it's the
emotional withdrawal I fear the most. I associate drinking wine with having fun. It's been
years since I've gone without wine at a family function or social situation.

Hatboxgirl

Thank you Anna! I appreciate your support.
BTW, my name is Doreen. Wow... putting my name down is really scary!!! I figure if everyone else is brave enough to use their real name, so can I

In memory of miracle

Yes it is Amy Brown! I didn't know that.
I too used booze to be able to "talk" to people and loosen up.Ha! Boy did I loosen up! At the end of my drinking I wound up insulting people and hitting them! It took some time but most day's I find myself quite comfortable and happy in the world.Remember in the moment all is well.

CarolD

here is the link on withdrawal..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=47857


If you want to quit drinking...AA is working miracles daily.

Chy

Hi and welcome!
You keep fighting the good fight and remain determined. Find a means of support in your area, like AA, or SMART sticking with those on the same agenda makes you stronger. As for your sister loosing 9 pounds pffffft, I assure you it won't last long! *LOL*

Val-light

Hi Doreen,
I agree wholeheartedly with the others...that one's recovery is contingent on one's commitment to it. I relapsed yesterday for the umpteenth time. My stretch between relapses grows steadily, but I just can't seem to say "no" when the temptation is overwhelming. Yeah...so I insulted people I love because I took my frustrations out on them...not meaning anything I said...but just saying awful things to relieve my stress....pushing people away from me because I let life get the best of me. Anyway...I'm off and running again...and I owe a good part of that to being able to come online with SR and try to re-focus my effort to put my sobriety before what life deals me, good or bad. Stay strong. I'll keep you in my prayers.
Val

lawrence oakwel

hi chy and everyone 2 days in the only way is up. i see myself in so many of your stories its great to see that people can come out the other side thanx for your spirit

Hatboxgirl

Thanks for everyone's support. I'm on day 3 and it is hard as hell! I wanted to relax in the sun on my back deck last night with a cold glass of white wine but I refrained. Chowed on pork ribs instead . Luckily for me I have never done anything mean or nasty while drunk. Usually I got loud and huggy. One of those lovable drunks. Anyway, today is another day and we'll see how it goes.

You all are truly great people

jcw1964

Good job hatbox. It get easier each day. Keep it up.
You can do it.
Jeff

Kahlia

AHH...I can so relate....MY family all drink....they have hurt me, not supported me, told me I was CRAZY etc....I decided a month ago to set BOUNDRIES....no more. IF they cannot support me and they can't, that is OK. I need healthy people in my life and I realize they are not those people. Your sister is making an excuse why she is still drinking....it is called alcoholism....I used to do it..so did you. You are hurt by her Non-support BUT she cannot even support herself...she is ill. I hope you think about this and what you need to do for YOU....it is your LIFE at stake here.....make the most of it....I also had to get a restraining order aginst my alcoholic brother.....very bad and very hard BUT it maked me understand that HIS behavior was BAD for me...Blessings.......Kahlia

Hatboxgirl

I know I have a long battle ahead of me. I know I will be tempted, on purpose, and even sabotaged. I know I will be accused of "not being fun", "bringing people down", etc... I'm hoping it doesn't last long. I love my family and I don't want this to get between us but it probably will. I'll have to stand my ground and insist I get the respect I deserve if not the support. We'll see what happens. I expect this weekend to be my first major trial.

requiredfield

Hi Hatboxgirl,

Forget about the long road ahead. Look down at your feet and live in the moment you are in. Things will come and go; good times and bad, but nothing is ever worth a drink. A drink will never make anything better or solve a thing. Sobriety is the best gift you can ever give yourself.

You have to forget about pleasing everyone else or getting support from people who are still using. In early sobriety it is important to be somewhat selfish meaning do what is best for you. If your family doesn't like it, as long as your not purposely hurting anyone, then that is their problem, not yours.

Get to a meeting and tell someone you're new. It's hard at first but you'll thank yourself later.

Anna

Hatboxgirl

I guess this is one time where it's okay to be selfish. Is it normal to feel sad about not being able to do the things you're used to doing?

Chy

Absolutly! Quitting what we've come so used to doing and the routine of it all is truly a grieving process. We grieve many things, and this is a huge one for us, it's normal.