littlebopeep

As my father was an alcoholic and died from his disease and my mother was using drugs, does anyone think I was predisposed to having drug/stealing/eating problems? Was it determined before my birth?

xxxxx

BindereDunnat

Genetically predisposed, perhaps. I've heard many people say it's so. Maybe there's no genetic predisposition.. maybe it's conditioning: you learned certain behaviors or patterns at your Mommy's Knee, so to speak. Does that mean that you are destined to fulfill some sort of prophecy? No. I believe that knowledge is power.. The more aware you are of the possibility, the more power you possess to put on the brakes. The propensity may be encoded in your DNA like some hypothesize.. but then again SO is the ability to choose your own. You are, after all, a beautiful human being possessing free will.

You don't have to fulfill someone else's "expectations" of you. ("Like father/mother like daughter; it runs in the family..." doesn't have to be) I believe that no matter what your parents did with their lives OR your life when you were growing up, YOU have the personal power and the strength to take over the raising of you, be your own best parent, and to do it right. Even if you have made mistakes in the past, you have the option and the power to pull it out and be who you desire and deserve to be.

Something about your post in another forum the other day got me, BoPeep... I don't know what it was, but then seeing this post in this forum... we are and we have been facing very similar battles.. If my Dad was an alcoholic incestuous pedophilic child abuser because HIS dad was, as was his father before him, will I BE? Are my children safe? In the heat of argument, my AH pulls out the most hurtful things he can to throw at me to make me cry and win the fight by forfeit: "You were abused, you will abuse. You're a bad Mom." NOT so. (OK, well throughout my teen years I abused myself pretty shamelessly... but that's a whole 'nother issue, and I exited that self destruct phase long ago. I don't abuse my children.)

There is always hope. I will pray that you find peace and happiness. YOU CAN, and YOU DESERVE IT!! Don't forget that.

Feel free to PM or E me if you want/need to "talk".

Bindere... Dunnat.

JT

The verdict is still out on that one...genetic predisposition. I am sure the drug companies would love to think it was so.

I am not convinced that it is not so but think it has more to do with environment. Our methods of dealing with life become what they are by what we see modeled.

Hugs,
JT

BigSis

There are twin studies that were done in some scandinavian country (with socialized medicine and health records that go back for decades) that showed that identical twins adopted out had addiction rates identical to EACH OTHER... regardless what type of home they were raised in.

These aren't conclusive. And if it is genetic, there is no reason to believe you inherited the gene.... just as you can have two red headed parents and still be a brunette.

Also, there seems (in my mind) to be differing degrees of addiction - and not just because it is chronic and progressive... but just that I've noticed some addictions that start off stronger and harsher and go faster than others.

I've read about some studies around first-born males of alcoholic fathers having a more difficult time with recovery....

I agree that there is nothing "cut and dried" or certain when it comes to addiction.

BigSis