Time4Me11

Well, I am early in day 3 having spent most of the night and morning in a fit of anxiety. But I have had two small blessings since then. I made it to the store and back without buying booze. More importantly, and a big blessing, the great friend that I thought I had lost forever due to my latest binge (although brutally honest) is still there for me...of course, only in sobriety.

I am somewhat relieved, but it makes the stakes higher and I am afraid of promising anything to anyone now knowing my track record.

I also feel the need to "dump" loads of past embarassments and situations from the past but don't know how to. They are haunting me. I know that it will take time, but perhaps I could do some of that here. I have drank in huge amounts over the last 5 years...can't believe nothing more serious has happened to me. Many of the stories I have read here are much worse than mine.

I need to let out the extent of my drinking to anyone willing to listen or share.

Maybe in the next post. For now, this morning at least, I am feeling more in control.

Lance

HPierce

hey lance welcome to the site and congrats on your three days! i know how you feel about the need to dump the load of embarassments but take your time you want to do it right. get involved in AA its a great fellowship and i truely love it. i'm only 24 and i feel AA has saved my future life. i didnt have many serious things happen to me either in my time of drinking... but i really feel that AA has saved me from making it further down into a deep bottem. i hope what i have said can be helpful to you! welcome to PM me anytime!

Heidi

Jupiter2

Hey Time,

Hang in there and try an AA meeting every day. It definitely helps me. I went to my first meeting on day 3. Maybe you could try one tonight? Hang in there and just don't drink for today.

Punt

Day two for me. I guess you can say we are making positive life style decisions at the time. I'm sure you have read many of the success stories of others here and if we accept their support and do our part, our lives will benefit from the clarity of living sober. Take care of yourself. Things will work out!

Time2Surrender

Time,congrats on 3 days.And Punt,congrats on your 2 days.

Time4Me11

Good Morning Everyone...and for once I actually do mean GOOD morning. I feel SO much better today than yesterday...for now. I wept for hours last night with the relief that I may be able to get through this through the help of your wisdom and courage.

Thanks
Lance

Anna

Lance,

You're doing great! And it does take time to deal with all the shame and guilt we cause ourselves with our addiction. But, things will work out. And, you definitely will be able to get through this. Keep visiting here and be inspired.

Love, Anna

BubbaBob

Fantastic. Red flag...it sounds like you are basing a part of your recovery on doing it for your friend. While it will be nice to have this friend, we must stay sober for US, not other people or things. If you stay sober for a job and lose the job, you lose the thing that you stayed sober for...same with family, friends, etc. YOU are the only thing you are assured not to lose, so stay sober for YOU.

That's step 4 of a 12 step program...try AA and get a sponsor that has worked the steps and knows how to show another person how to do it. On a sponsor, remember you aren't looking for a friend, you are looking for a hard-assed teacher who will call you on your stuff and MIGHT become your friend.

This place is great...so are AA meetings...F2F meetings... ...at least for me, I'm never in control. God is, or I'd be drunk again.

Lance[/QUOTE]

BubbaBob

Roxann

Congrats Lance. 3 days Sober, isn't that incredible? :bravo

I wish you much luck and ((HUGS)) and prayers. You have all the tools, use them and you can do this. Keep posting here, it really does help.

Time4Me11

BubbaBob

Thanks for the pointers...got me on the "for Me" part. My friend did too! I did choose Time4Me as my moniker...guess it is a really old pattern to work through.

L

HPierce

Lance so glad to hear your doing better today!!! keep on keeping on

jmhs002

Good Job Lance!

It gets better. Again, just decide to not drink today - you will start to feel better physically and emotionally. Hang in there and come back here often - lots of nice people to help.

I basically drank every day for the last 10 years. My drinking got progessively worse, and if I continued on that path, I would not be around for the long term. So, I decided that I had had enough. Day 24 today.

Good luck!

Punt

Hi Time4, Time2, Bubba, and so many others. I posted under my previous post, after reading everyones thoughts. I like so many others, have tried alone before and with no success. On some occassions I would not drink for a couple of weeks and the longest was 45 days over a year ago. But, always fell back into unhealth amounts and episodes several times a week. I'm going to try and post daily each day, to benefit from the support of all of you and possibly encourage others to take care of themeselves. I will strive to be a daily example, but fear that this will be a battle always fought, for the war will never end. The one thing about history I've learned as it is always ready to repeat itself if given the chance. Take Care....

BubbaBob

Punt, it doesn't have to be a war...a battle. A challange? Yes, and a difficult one, but you can stop fighting and start working. It is so much better when viewed as a life's work rather than a life's battle. When I quit fighting I started getting better.

BubbaBob

Punt

Thanks BubbaBob...that does seem like a much healthier way to approach my goal to stop drinking. Once again, I going to bed a more secure about my future...Take Care, and good night...

Time4Me11

Good Morning Everyone, (day 5 here)

Just wanting to check in...Looks like we are doing and being well! Yeah! I like Bubba's advice to Punt to consider this a challenge, yes....a battle, no .... it is work, and somehow for me for the past days it has been pure and inspiring work because it is so personal. I will stop fighting and be creative even humorous and joyful in this difficult, even grimy work that I have CHOSEN to do for ME!

Soberwolf

Well done everyone