Need advice...going to my first meeting!
Paige
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 48
Need advice...going to my first meeting!
Good morning,
First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support and kind words. I have really felt welcomed, and I now read this site every day. Since my arrest, I have maintained my sobriety (24 days). I think it is the longest I have been sober in 14 years, (with the exception of my pregnancy 6 years ago...not a drop). Most of the people that have written to me have suggested that I attend an AA meeting. Well, I found the local website, and there are locations all over my city, and at all different times. I had no idea.... However, I am TERRIFIED to go to my first meeting. I don't know why. Maybe the fear of finally admitting a problem? Afraid of what I will learn or find out? I don't know. I have been trying to go to one since Monday night, and I just can't seem to get there. I would appreciate any advice, or anyone else's story about the first meeting they went to. I am struggling with this, and I want to do everything I can to keep on the sober trail. 24 days is HUGE for me, and I know I could easily fall back. Thanks for listening. Paige
First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support and kind words. I have really felt welcomed, and I now read this site every day. Since my arrest, I have maintained my sobriety (24 days). I think it is the longest I have been sober in 14 years, (with the exception of my pregnancy 6 years ago...not a drop). Most of the people that have written to me have suggested that I attend an AA meeting. Well, I found the local website, and there are locations all over my city, and at all different times. I had no idea.... However, I am TERRIFIED to go to my first meeting. I don't know why. Maybe the fear of finally admitting a problem? Afraid of what I will learn or find out? I don't know. I have been trying to go to one since Monday night, and I just can't seem to get there. I would appreciate any advice, or anyone else's story about the first meeting they went to. I am struggling with this, and I want to do everything I can to keep on the sober trail. 24 days is HUGE for me, and I know I could easily fall back. Thanks for listening. Paige
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 307
Hi Paige,
I know exactly how you feel. I am 17 days soober and could not get myself to go to a meeting 14 days ago. I had just 3 days when I went to my first meeting and you have 24! Everyone on this board encouraged me and said not to be afraid and just go. They said I would be accepted with open arms and they were right. Is there a beginner's meeting in your area? That would be a good place to start. I will be going to my new "home" beginner's meeting tonight where my sponsor is as well. Please don't hesitate and go. You will be forever glad you did!
I know exactly how you feel. I am 17 days soober and could not get myself to go to a meeting 14 days ago. I had just 3 days when I went to my first meeting and you have 24! Everyone on this board encouraged me and said not to be afraid and just go. They said I would be accepted with open arms and they were right. Is there a beginner's meeting in your area? That would be a good place to start. I will be going to my new "home" beginner's meeting tonight where my sponsor is as well. Please don't hesitate and go. You will be forever glad you did!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: riverside,ca
Posts: 20
keep an open mind
Good for you. AA is a great program
" we only ask that you keep an open mind"!
Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. We supprot one another!!!!
I can tell you this much you can leave out of that meeting feeling empowered your surrounded by people that are just like you. They are not there to judge you only to help you and make suggestions in hopes that it will help someone or themselves. With this disease that we have, we have to have an outlet. I would recommend that you go to more than one meeting and find the one that your happy with. I applaud you for taking this step and its a very important step in you recovery YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY!!! I am very happy for you and look forward to hearing how your first meeting went and if this one does not work for you find another one.
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
" we only ask that you keep an open mind"!
Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.
Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. We supprot one another!!!!
I can tell you this much you can leave out of that meeting feeling empowered your surrounded by people that are just like you. They are not there to judge you only to help you and make suggestions in hopes that it will help someone or themselves. With this disease that we have, we have to have an outlet. I would recommend that you go to more than one meeting and find the one that your happy with. I applaud you for taking this step and its a very important step in you recovery YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY!!! I am very happy for you and look forward to hearing how your first meeting went and if this one does not work for you find another one.
"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."
spirit
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: perth,western australia
Posts: 1,460
paige , my name is kath and i wish to welcome you.
re going to a meeting, i found it is a bit like having a baby, dont have any expectations about what will happen cause you dont know.
just go, hold your breath, walk in the doors and say hi. you will be welcomed, there will be people there who as shy as you, no matter how long they ahve been there.
i have NEVER been to a meeting where i wasnt welcomed, where people didnt come up to me, shake my hand and say hello.
just go, say hi, and go with the flow. if you feel awkward tell them that it is your first meeting - people love that, you will be welcomed with open arms. if you dont know what to do, tell them. remember yo dont actually have to do anything, just BE and just BE THERE.
good luck and i hope you enjoy. when you walk in the doors, it is like going home, it is a nice place to be, the people there are just like you. the best club to belong to
hugs
kath
re going to a meeting, i found it is a bit like having a baby, dont have any expectations about what will happen cause you dont know.
just go, hold your breath, walk in the doors and say hi. you will be welcomed, there will be people there who as shy as you, no matter how long they ahve been there.
i have NEVER been to a meeting where i wasnt welcomed, where people didnt come up to me, shake my hand and say hello.
just go, say hi, and go with the flow. if you feel awkward tell them that it is your first meeting - people love that, you will be welcomed with open arms. if you dont know what to do, tell them. remember yo dont actually have to do anything, just BE and just BE THERE.
good luck and i hope you enjoy. when you walk in the doors, it is like going home, it is a nice place to be, the people there are just like you. the best club to belong to
hugs
kath
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 94
I went to my first AA meeting last February, but it took me another year before I got sober. I have 28 days today! Yay! Anyway, I was petrified at my first meeting too. I brought my husband along with me. As soon as I walked through the door, people came up to me, told me their names and shook my hand. I was shocked that everyone was so friendly and welcoming. As soon as they found out it was my first meeting, a lot of people gave me their phone numbers and told me to call anytime if I needed to talk. Wow!
AA's primary purpose is to help others stay sober and help the alcoholic who is still suffering. There's nothing more to it. No cultish stuff, no dues or fees--none of that garbage. It's great! I know after I got out of rehab and went to my first meeting back, it felt like coming home. I was welcomed with open arms and you will be too! Give it a try! You won't be sorry.
AA's primary purpose is to help others stay sober and help the alcoholic who is still suffering. There's nothing more to it. No cultish stuff, no dues or fees--none of that garbage. It's great! I know after I got out of rehab and went to my first meeting back, it felt like coming home. I was welcomed with open arms and you will be too! Give it a try! You won't be sorry.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi Paige...a warm welcome coming your way....so happy you've found SoberRecovery...the gang and their advice are the best, which you're finding out.
All I can say is go early...half an hour or so...people welcome you with open arms...hey they all understand, don't be scared. I made a mistake the first time I walked through the doors..actually two mistakes...but my first one was walking in at the last minute..sick and hungover and scared, so please go early.....my second mistake was thinking after a few meetings I was smart enough to do it ALONE....ha wrong.
Anyway you'll be just fine, it's people like us that you will meet...hey we aren't so scarey are we? ok ok some days we are, hahaha.
Sending love hugs and strength your way, you'll be ok......Denise
All I can say is go early...half an hour or so...people welcome you with open arms...hey they all understand, don't be scared. I made a mistake the first time I walked through the doors..actually two mistakes...but my first one was walking in at the last minute..sick and hungover and scared, so please go early.....my second mistake was thinking after a few meetings I was smart enough to do it ALONE....ha wrong.
Anyway you'll be just fine, it's people like us that you will meet...hey we aren't so scarey are we? ok ok some days we are, hahaha.
Sending love hugs and strength your way, you'll be ok......Denise
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cuyahoga Falls
Posts: 9
GO.LET GO AND LET GOD is a thing we say in AA
pray . then tell some one you are new and they will help
I been sober 13 years and been to meeting all over the usa and we just love to
help the new ones that is helping others to help ourself that is a big part of AA
pray . then tell some one you are new and they will help
I been sober 13 years and been to meeting all over the usa and we just love to
help the new ones that is helping others to help ourself that is a big part of AA
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cuyahoga Falls
Posts: 9
QUOTE=Andy F]Ok. Here's a game. I have taken it or adapted it from a book I read. It's not original. But, it's enlightening.
Identify a chore or event you need to attend to that your either really not looking forward to or you have been putting off. It could be something simple like doing the dishes or something bigger like a job interview. On a scale of 1 to 20 rate this chore or event on how horrible or distasteful you 'anticipate' it is going to be when you attend to it. 1 being the least horrible and 20 being the most umpleasant. Before you do it, post here a short description and your projected rating (1 to 20)of how horrible you anticipate this event is going to be.
Then go and do the event. Observe how you 'actually' feel during and afterwards. When you have finished rate again on a scale of one to twenty just how it 'actually' was. Then post our second rating of how it 'actually' was back here.[/QUOTE]
Identify a chore or event you need to attend to that your either really not looking forward to or you have been putting off. It could be something simple like doing the dishes or something bigger like a job interview. On a scale of 1 to 20 rate this chore or event on how horrible or distasteful you 'anticipate' it is going to be when you attend to it. 1 being the least horrible and 20 being the most umpleasant. Before you do it, post here a short description and your projected rating (1 to 20)of how horrible you anticipate this event is going to be.
Then go and do the event. Observe how you 'actually' feel during and afterwards. When you have finished rate again on a scale of one to twenty just how it 'actually' was. Then post our second rating of how it 'actually' was back here.[/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Cuyahoga Falls
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Stoic
Like many here, I suppose, I've accumulated lots of books about alcoholism and recovery. One of the best I've read recently is Seeds of Grace: Reflections on the Spirituality of Alcoholics Anonymous, by Sister Molly Monahan (not her real name). From the time she entered a convent in 1953, "Monahan" first became a social drinker, then a more serious drinker and, eventually, an alcoholic. During the process, sh gradually realized that she'd lost the capacity to pray (something rather serious for a nun, I would think), and ultimately much of her spiritual sensibilities. When she finally joined AA in 1983, she was struck by how much the spiritual life of the AA community reinforced, supported and extended the principles of spirituality she'd originally embraced as a nun.
It's a good book, well worth reading for anyone in AA. But there's a story, told to her by a fellow AA member, that alone is worth the price of purchase. This man had been in AA for a number of years, and was taking a long flight and had been airborne for about an hour when the pilot voice came over the intercom, saying: "Are there any friends of Bill W. on board?" After a flutter of laughter, the pilot continued: "If so, we'd be grateful if you would move to the rear of the cabin." The man was a bit perplexed, but rose and slowly made his way -- along with 5-6 others -- to the rear of the plane. There they found a young woman who was on her way to a rehab facility, and had also been struck with an overwhelming desire for a drink. She had called the flight attendant and asked if there were any AA members on board, which led to the pilot's announcement and request. These half-dozen AA members, who had never met this woman or one another before, spent the rest of the flight at the rear of the cabin, talking her through it, helping her stay sober, until the plane landed.
As many of you know, this is "how it works." I can't think of a better story to tell when people ask me why I'm in AA, and why it's been so important in my life.
It's a good book, well worth reading for anyone in AA. But there's a story, told to her by a fellow AA member, that alone is worth the price of purchase. This man had been in AA for a number of years, and was taking a long flight and had been airborne for about an hour when the pilot voice came over the intercom, saying: "Are there any friends of Bill W. on board?" After a flutter of laughter, the pilot continued: "If so, we'd be grateful if you would move to the rear of the cabin." The man was a bit perplexed, but rose and slowly made his way -- along with 5-6 others -- to the rear of the plane. There they found a young woman who was on her way to a rehab facility, and had also been struck with an overwhelming desire for a drink. She had called the flight attendant and asked if there were any AA members on board, which led to the pilot's announcement and request. These half-dozen AA members, who had never met this woman or one another before, spent the rest of the flight at the rear of the cabin, talking her through it, helping her stay sober, until the plane landed.
As many of you know, this is "how it works." I can't think of a better story to tell when people ask me why I'm in AA, and why it's been so important in my life.
Paige
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 48
Survived an AA Meeting!!
I finally did it. I was scared to death, but I made myself go. The meeting was at 10 am, and the people were warm, friendly, and happy to see me. I told them it was my first time, and they were wonderful. Many of the people told me about their first time to a meeting. I felt so accepted...and, it was really interesting -- I felt closer to these complete strangers with an addiction in common, than I have felt to my closest friends and family in the last 24 sober days. They were funny and crazy and working together to support each other. I felt very comfortable. After the meeting, several of the people go to lunch. They invited me to go, and we talked all the way through lunch about how important it is to attend the meetings. I have no idea what I was afraid of. I am so glad I went...and, I am going to another meeting tomorrow! Thanks for all of the encouragement! Paige
still moment by moment
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: on my way back to me
Posts: 83
YEAH! I too had to DRAG myself to a meeting. I can't actually say that I'm an "a....." But I'm working on it. I am worried that this is going to be awfully hard if I can't get by step 1.
BUT - I went anyway - and it is really an amazing experience isn't it.
I keep wondering - are these people really this nice to all people all the time - or are they just nice during the meeting. Do these people never honk at anyone or roll their eyes at a stranger in the grocery store or what? Because - if the world was this nice to complete and total strangers all the time - what a wonderful world it would be...
I'm glad I went. I am going to go again too. I keep making a deal with myself. "Give it another day - then decide...." So far, so good. Its only been 3 weeks, but in my world that is a really really long time.
BUT - I went anyway - and it is really an amazing experience isn't it.
I keep wondering - are these people really this nice to all people all the time - or are they just nice during the meeting. Do these people never honk at anyone or roll their eyes at a stranger in the grocery store or what? Because - if the world was this nice to complete and total strangers all the time - what a wonderful world it would be...
I'm glad I went. I am going to go again too. I keep making a deal with myself. "Give it another day - then decide...." So far, so good. Its only been 3 weeks, but in my world that is a really really long time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi Erino and Paige 
Hey , Erino, I thought exactly like you when I first went to AA. I did not believe that people could be so nice ! Here I am 16 months later , and nothing has changed
Like any gathering of people , some I like more than others, but we all have the same goal, not to drink today , and that is why it works ,
So glad you enjoyed your first meeting Paige , keep going back. one of the groups I go to have lundh afterwards, and talk about a looooong lunch lol
HUGX
Lee
Hey , Erino, I thought exactly like you when I first went to AA. I did not believe that people could be so nice ! Here I am 16 months later , and nothing has changed
Like any gathering of people , some I like more than others, but we all have the same goal, not to drink today , and that is why it works ,
So glad you enjoyed your first meeting Paige , keep going back. one of the groups I go to have lundh afterwards, and talk about a looooong lunch lol
HUGX
Lee
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Jasper, GA
Posts: 239
Originally Posted by paigem2000
-- I felt closer to these complete strangers with an addiction in common, than I have felt to my closest friends and family in the last 24 sober days.
Absolutely true.
BubbaBob
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
