Mom gets 25 yr chip but still in denial
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: south carolina
Posts: 67
Mom gets 25 yr chip but still in denial
To make a long story short, my mother just received her 25 year chip.
She started drinking after my dad died. She lost everyone and everything. She has sponsored many many people, has tons of friends who truly love her. As a kid of 17, I ran away from her because she was so hateful and mean and downright ugly. She drank from sun up to sun down.
One day 10 years after I had moved half way across the country to get away from her, she checks herself into rehab and stays sober for 25 years. In the mean time, the damage she did to me and my sister go UNRECOGNIZED by her. She sponsers all these people, she KNOWS the program and the 9th step! My sister has disowned her completely and doesn't care if she is alive or dead.
I finally moved closer to her 7 years ago because she is getting old. Not too close but a few hours away I figured it's time to put the past to rest. But I just don't understand why she has never apologized for what she did to me nor will she talk about it. She constantly complains about her life, not having money enough to do this or that. I feel like she is expecting me to be responsible for her. I love her dearly and have forgiven her. I couldn't bear anything happening to her. I would not want to stir up problems either.
The strange thing is the pretending nothing ever happened. What do you think of this for an old timer in AA?
She started drinking after my dad died. She lost everyone and everything. She has sponsored many many people, has tons of friends who truly love her. As a kid of 17, I ran away from her because she was so hateful and mean and downright ugly. She drank from sun up to sun down.
One day 10 years after I had moved half way across the country to get away from her, she checks herself into rehab and stays sober for 25 years. In the mean time, the damage she did to me and my sister go UNRECOGNIZED by her. She sponsers all these people, she KNOWS the program and the 9th step! My sister has disowned her completely and doesn't care if she is alive or dead.
I finally moved closer to her 7 years ago because she is getting old. Not too close but a few hours away I figured it's time to put the past to rest. But I just don't understand why she has never apologized for what she did to me nor will she talk about it. She constantly complains about her life, not having money enough to do this or that. I feel like she is expecting me to be responsible for her. I love her dearly and have forgiven her. I couldn't bear anything happening to her. I would not want to stir up problems either.
The strange thing is the pretending nothing ever happened. What do you think of this for an old timer in AA?
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
It is not my job to take anyone elses inventory. Your mom has to work her own program to the best of her ability.
How about you? what do you do for yourself and for your own healing. It sounds like, and I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but it sounds like you are expecting something from her, an apology or something. Expectations....are resentments waiting to happen. Accept her for who she is, it will make your heart lighter.
How about you? what do you do for yourself and for your own healing. It sounds like, and I hope I don't offend you by saying this, but it sounds like you are expecting something from her, an apology or something. Expectations....are resentments waiting to happen. Accept her for who she is, it will make your heart lighter.
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