Party'sOver

I just had a drink at my neighbor's house. I want so bad to go out and to feel good and to feel normal. I am so sick of everything. I don't want to get out of control, I just want to have fun again. I'm tired of being this serious recovering, on the verge of a nervous breakdown crap. I have to leave the house. Crap, why this struggle?

Time2Surrender

Hang in there.The struggle will get easier.I cant speak for anyone else in this forum.But,for me.If I could go and drink,and use,and keep it under control I would be out there.I didnt get into recovery and come to this site because I didnt like alcohol and drugs.I am here because I am an addict and an alcoholic.I cannot control my drinking/using.I dont like the consequences of my drinking/using.Recovery is hard work.One must be willing to completely surrender and also be willing to go to any length.But,in the long run the pay off is big.We will all have good and bad days.Making it through the bad days clean and sober makes it a little easier each time.I hope you throw this dealers # away.

thatsickchick

Please Use Your Phone List Of People Who Are Clean & Sober. If At All Possible Go To A Meeting Tonight, You Don't Have To Go Thru This Alone. You Deserve To Have Freedom & Live. When We Get Loaded We (i) Become A Slave To My Disease. Pray If You Will , To A Higher Power Greater Than You.please Let Us Know How You Are Doing.
Debbie

bruised ego

First thing you should do is burn that number! Don't call to get more pain in your life.....and this person sells pain. Simple as that.

I don't have all of the answers....geeze, I don't have any right now.....but know somebody here cares and doesn't want to lose you to the darkness.

Turn on some lights in your life. Put on some fun music and dance? Take a really long hot bath and sleep on it......I hope tomorrow finds you awake early and feeling better. [[[hugs]]]

Party'sOver

I did call him, but no answer. I admit it. it was fate. I took a shower and feel better and calmer. I think I will go for a walk in the freezing cold to pick up a pack of smokes. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. I have no idea what hit me tonight. I've been so good and balanced. Later...

liveat5

Something that made it a little easier for me was to delete all my dealers' numbers from my phone, and program my whole phone list from the fellowship into my phone. Same can be done on paper. I know you can get that dealer's number again just as easily as before, but it just made it more reassuring to have the numbers of positive influences right there where I first look than to have a dealer's number staring me in the face. Just seeing the numbers of the people in the fellowship made it ewasier to call them instead, and I haven't called a dealer since I made the decision to get clean.

Good luck.

hector

(((partysover))). Lotsa hugs.

If you keep doing, what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

When a barn catches fire and a horse is led out, the horse must be held firmly. If he's let go, he will run back into the barn to his stall. And burn to death. Where he's always been safe.

Your barn caught fire. Let us hold you firmly. We want to. It keeps us out of our barns which are also on fire. I was led out of my "barn" over 16 years ago. It's still there.

Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together.