Hello All, Goodbye Meth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: The Road Not Taken
Posts: 40
Hello All, Goodbye Meth
I just wanted to say a short hello to everyone, and tell just a little about myself. I am writing for both myself and my boyfriend. I was a meth user for a little over one year, and he was just shy of his three year anniversary with that poision.
He and I both come from backgrounds steeped in addiction, from parents that were alcoholics (all recovered at this point!!) to our own addictions: I started smoking at 11 or 12 years old (quit a year ago) and was a full blown alcoholic from the time I was 18 until I met up with Meth (I gave up all other addictions so I could concentrate on Crystal), and I had dabbled in most other drugs as well. Prior to Meth, my drug of choice was Exctasy. My boyfriend's history reads about the same, replacing the name of a drug here or there.
Anyway, our sober date was 1 December 2004, and although we have had two slips since then, we are going to make it! I look forward to getting to know you all, and sharing stories (helpful only!! the cause of both of our slips was reminiscing about the "good old days", cause as any addict knows, its not all bad. But, I digress.) I have heard that a co-dependant relationship is the hardest type in which to "break the habit" in, but I think that in our case, our relationship is what saved us. If we were apart, I think that we both would still be using. However, we realized that it was either "us" or "me and meth", and we chose us. Not only did we chose the our relationship over the dance with death, but we loved each other enough to see what the drug was doing to the other person (funny how easy it is to look outward, but so hard to turn that gaze back inward...), and realized that we had to quit to save the other.
Finally, here are a couple other things about me:
My username _If_ was taken from one of my favorite poems, "If", by Rudyard Kipling. I will post it in the poems area (if someone hasn't already beat me to it). I have loved that poem, and The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost (which I have selected as my location), from the first time I heard both of them as a child. But, they have taken on an entirely new meaning to me at this juncture of my life, and I read them everytime I am down (and they still bring me to tears). Finally, my signature "Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus" is taken from a Virgil quote, and an approximate translation is: Meanwhile time flies and is never to be regained. It is funny, but while on Meth, you have so much more time - I would stay awake for on average of 3-5 days straight, then sleep for a mere 12-24 hours, then back up and away. But, oddly enough, not only did I never get ANYTHING accomplished at all, The time flew by so fast, I never had any clue what day it was, no concept of "yesterday" as it differed from "a week ago" or what I did then or when? I look back at this last year, and the images I have are from an internal camera on a slow shutter speed, while driving 90mph down the wrong road. (I hope that makes sense to all of you, it will definitely make sense to ex-meth addicts). Anyway, once again, hello to all!!! And, I will get those poems up in the poetry section as soon as I go and get some lunch =)
He and I both come from backgrounds steeped in addiction, from parents that were alcoholics (all recovered at this point!!) to our own addictions: I started smoking at 11 or 12 years old (quit a year ago) and was a full blown alcoholic from the time I was 18 until I met up with Meth (I gave up all other addictions so I could concentrate on Crystal), and I had dabbled in most other drugs as well. Prior to Meth, my drug of choice was Exctasy. My boyfriend's history reads about the same, replacing the name of a drug here or there.
Anyway, our sober date was 1 December 2004, and although we have had two slips since then, we are going to make it! I look forward to getting to know you all, and sharing stories (helpful only!! the cause of both of our slips was reminiscing about the "good old days", cause as any addict knows, its not all bad. But, I digress.) I have heard that a co-dependant relationship is the hardest type in which to "break the habit" in, but I think that in our case, our relationship is what saved us. If we were apart, I think that we both would still be using. However, we realized that it was either "us" or "me and meth", and we chose us. Not only did we chose the our relationship over the dance with death, but we loved each other enough to see what the drug was doing to the other person (funny how easy it is to look outward, but so hard to turn that gaze back inward...), and realized that we had to quit to save the other.
Finally, here are a couple other things about me:
My username _If_ was taken from one of my favorite poems, "If", by Rudyard Kipling. I will post it in the poems area (if someone hasn't already beat me to it). I have loved that poem, and The Road Not Taken, by Robert Frost (which I have selected as my location), from the first time I heard both of them as a child. But, they have taken on an entirely new meaning to me at this juncture of my life, and I read them everytime I am down (and they still bring me to tears). Finally, my signature "Sed fugit interea, fugit irreparabile tempus" is taken from a Virgil quote, and an approximate translation is: Meanwhile time flies and is never to be regained. It is funny, but while on Meth, you have so much more time - I would stay awake for on average of 3-5 days straight, then sleep for a mere 12-24 hours, then back up and away. But, oddly enough, not only did I never get ANYTHING accomplished at all, The time flew by so fast, I never had any clue what day it was, no concept of "yesterday" as it differed from "a week ago" or what I did then or when? I look back at this last year, and the images I have are from an internal camera on a slow shutter speed, while driving 90mph down the wrong road. (I hope that makes sense to all of you, it will definitely make sense to ex-meth addicts). Anyway, once again, hello to all!!! And, I will get those poems up in the poetry section as soon as I go and get some lunch =)
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by _If_
I look back at this last year, and the images I have are from an internal camera on a slow shutter speed, while driving 90mph down the wrong road.
Welcome to SR!
Thanks for sharing!
And congratulations on getting clean!
Thanks for sharing!
And congratulations on getting clean!
My husband and I used together,too, and got clean together. We have the same clean date and everything. Ain't that sweet? I know we couldn't have come this far AND stayed together if we hadn't BOTH cleaned up. We each have just over two years clean now. Recovery ROCKS, If!
I highly recommend NA. You both ought to get to some meetings, though not necessarily the same ones. In fact, for a long time, I think it was better that we went to separate meetings. Why not give it a try? I wish you both the very best!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: The Road Not Taken
Posts: 40
Eddie,
Thanks a million for your reply! And, I promise, we will keep your suggestion to attend NA in our discussions. I am not sure exactly what is holding us back, but we are both somewhat hesitant at the moment. Maybe some of you could help by sharing any initial reasons that you avoided NA, and who or what finally convinced you to go? And, thanks again for the welcome aboard. It feels good to finally be able to talk about everything!
Thanks a million for your reply! And, I promise, we will keep your suggestion to attend NA in our discussions. I am not sure exactly what is holding us back, but we are both somewhat hesitant at the moment. Maybe some of you could help by sharing any initial reasons that you avoided NA, and who or what finally convinced you to go? And, thanks again for the welcome aboard. It feels good to finally be able to talk about everything!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Hi IF
Welcome! I love that poem too.
Re the NA meeting thing...in my experience, MOST people are hesitant to go whether it's AA or NA for one reason or another...many many are ctually terrified...most people suffer from misconceptions.
I think because nothing can prepare you for the absolute love and support and spirituality that one finds in meetings like this. It is just something I have never encountered anywhere, and I literally cannot believe my good fortune, that I am part of something like this.
One thing that all people I know have in common is - no one ever, ever, ever regretted going to an NA/AA meeting.
Do it! I think Eddie's suggestion is a goof one too - if possible, separate meetings. It's something so special, I'm really glad that although my H is supportive (but as a non addict, doesn't really 'get it'), it's something I have all to myself. And I love it.
I'm pretty wrecked today, but am going to a meeting at 8.30 pm because a) I enjoy them so much and b) I cannot think of literally anything more important and special and necessary I could do with my time and c) it keeps me sober.
Good luck IF!
Keep coming back and let us know how you are getting on. Congratulations to both you and your b/f for doing this - amazing! Well done. Keep it up.
Cathy31
x
Welcome! I love that poem too.
Re the NA meeting thing...in my experience, MOST people are hesitant to go whether it's AA or NA for one reason or another...many many are ctually terrified...most people suffer from misconceptions.
I think because nothing can prepare you for the absolute love and support and spirituality that one finds in meetings like this. It is just something I have never encountered anywhere, and I literally cannot believe my good fortune, that I am part of something like this.
One thing that all people I know have in common is - no one ever, ever, ever regretted going to an NA/AA meeting.
Do it! I think Eddie's suggestion is a goof one too - if possible, separate meetings. It's something so special, I'm really glad that although my H is supportive (but as a non addict, doesn't really 'get it'), it's something I have all to myself. And I love it.
I'm pretty wrecked today, but am going to a meeting at 8.30 pm because a) I enjoy them so much and b) I cannot think of literally anything more important and special and necessary I could do with my time and c) it keeps me sober.
Good luck IF!
Keep coming back and let us know how you are getting on. Congratulations to both you and your b/f for doing this - amazing! Well done. Keep it up.
Cathy31
x
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
(((Cathy))),
We knew what you meant. LOL.
If,
You're welcome! I have to be honest, though, I came to NA through a treatment center and I was "forced" to go to treatment because I got caught. My husband and I had talked about going some months before this, but it took my getting busted for us to come around. It doesn't have to come to this, If! If you go "voluntarily" now, you can save yourself a lot of pain.
I was hesitant because of "the God thing," but NA does not require you to believe in God. You only need to be open-minded to the possibility that there are Powers greater than yourself. My addiction was definitely greater than I was, so I knew such Powers existed. I had to find a positive Power greater even than my addiction and I found it in NA! I hope this helps.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
We knew what you meant. LOL.
If,
You're welcome! I have to be honest, though, I came to NA through a treatment center and I was "forced" to go to treatment because I got caught. My husband and I had talked about going some months before this, but it took my getting busted for us to come around. It doesn't have to come to this, If! If you go "voluntarily" now, you can save yourself a lot of pain.
I was hesitant because of "the God thing," but NA does not require you to believe in God. You only need to be open-minded to the possibility that there are Powers greater than yourself. My addiction was definitely greater than I was, so I knew such Powers existed. I had to find a positive Power greater even than my addiction and I found it in NA! I hope this helps.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
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