JessicaNAJ

My AH called me last night and asked what I was doing (taking out the garbage). I asked him if could call him back (I guess). SO, I called back, nothing to talk about, he said he was getting ready to go to bed so he thought he'd call and say goodnight (it was 9:30/he never goes to bed this early, but first time for everything). I called him back 15 minutes later b/c I didn't know if he was going to get the kids or not. No answer.

Okay - now this is just a thought, but I think he was calling me to see where I was and what I was doing b/c he wanted to go to the bar....hmmmm (didn't want me to drive by and see him there). Why do I think that? He always answers the phone or calls me back unless he's at the bar.

Does he think I have "STUPID" written on my forehead?

On the bright side, we had a nice sober Christmas. How was your holiday?

jojo

Why does it matter if he thinks you have
stupid" on your forehead? Why would you drive by the bar? He isn't living with you any longer for a reason. Would your time and energy be better spent on the kids and taking care of you? Think about what YOU want for your life and try and let him decide how he wants to live his. He will either change or he won't. You trying to figure out what is going on in his head isn't helping you, is it? It is so hard living through the situation you are in. It is hard to make those changes in ourselves but when we do, things get better for us.

Hugs, Jo

Rose56

Jess,
They really just don't get it, do they? It's really pretty pathetic when you catch them coniving just to get their fix. I'm glad you holiday was sober at least. Mine was not, but hubby wasn't too bad. The saddest part of Christmas this year was realizing when hubby came home from a visit with his Dad (because he had the flu) that I wished he had stayed away. He can be very good when he is sober, but he can be very depressing too. I have to work so hard to move my focus away from him and onto myself. Wishing you the best new year!

JessicaNAJ

I really don't care what he's thinking - I just wish he'd give me a little bit more credit than that. ~ it's insulting that he don't think I'm smarter than that. (The bar is in a normal route if I were to go anywhere.)

Thank you for your thoughts JoJo....

Every day, my situation is a little clearer.

queenofthehwy

I don't think they do THINK..... it's kinda funny! I'm glad you had a sober holiday.
I was thinking about all of you this weekend, my computer at home is not working so I couldn't check in until today. We had a party @ our house friday with his family (whom I love dearly) and guess what he took off about 2 hours before everyone got there and when he got back (late of course) he obviously had been drinking. Normally I wouldn't have bothered me but he treats me so bad and I was so embarassed. He's batting 100 at ruining christmas for me, actually it wasn't as bad this year I'M GETTING BETTER!!!

dreamcatcher

I can totally understand the STUPID thing. I just can't figure out how to let it go. It is so hard to go along with things when I KNOW THE TRUTH. I feel like saying just tell me the truth, that is the least I deserve. I say to myself what does it matter, and for some reason it does matter. I think it has to do with getting our self respect back. We just have to keep working on it.

Dee at Mt Bully

Really-even when we are working on ourselves and we think we are doing good
when that stupid thing comes up it gets me too. I try to talk myself out of it but
I can't get around the fact that the AH thinks he's fooling me with is little devious
plans. It's amazing what he can come up with to get himself to some alcohol and
some good olboys to encourage him to have another one. I'm glad to know I'm not alone here--guess our work on ourselves is not done yet. Smiles--Dee

JessicaNAJ

I've pretty much given up on the idea that my AH will ever tell me the truth again. He tried to manipulate me before thanksgiving by telling that he went to the bar and didn't like it, didn't like the emotions he got, blah blah blah - anyway He wanted to tell me before anyone else told me b/c he needed me to trust him. AND THEN he turns around three weeks later, goes to the bar (i saw his car there), doesn't answer his phone when I call (I called before I passed the bar), and tells me the next day that he had it charging and it didn't ring b/c of that. He still don't know I saw his car there. What's the point of me telling him? He'd probably lie his way out of that too.

Dee - this is a long term "job" .... lol at least for me. I do think I deserve more credit than he gives me, but then again, look at who I'm trying to get it from.

I need a cushion cause I have to keep kicking myself in the ***.

JessicaNAJ

I completely understand how you feel - Good for you for not letting it get to you soooo much this year.... That's AWESOME!