424's Journal
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 303
424's Journal
Going to commit to 90 days, then….see what happens.
I’ve been trying to quit drinking for over 15 years. I never was able to achieve even 90 sober days in a row, in all that time. I can’t at this present moment say forever, because I get so overwhelmed when I try to take on something that seems so much bigger than me. So, if I can get 90 full days of being sober, then possibly on that 90th day I will be able to see my life and future differently, and that I’ll have better focus and won’t feel like I am spinning in circles with feelings of being overwhelmed and unable to do anything. It’s a start, and I am going to give it everything I've got in me to not drink alcohol for 90 days. That seems like maybe, hopeful, I can reach that goal. And then go more……
Right now it is 48 hours and 55 minutes since my last drink of alcohol, so if I am counting correctly, I am starting day 3 right now. I'll go to bed soon, it was cold last night but I sweated into my sheets as I was detoxing, I am expecting the same tonight.
I watched Intervention last night on TV and one lady they way she looked after 90 days gave me hope, I could connect to her story.
I’ve been trying to quit drinking for over 15 years. I never was able to achieve even 90 sober days in a row, in all that time. I can’t at this present moment say forever, because I get so overwhelmed when I try to take on something that seems so much bigger than me. So, if I can get 90 full days of being sober, then possibly on that 90th day I will be able to see my life and future differently, and that I’ll have better focus and won’t feel like I am spinning in circles with feelings of being overwhelmed and unable to do anything. It’s a start, and I am going to give it everything I've got in me to not drink alcohol for 90 days. That seems like maybe, hopeful, I can reach that goal. And then go more……
Right now it is 48 hours and 55 minutes since my last drink of alcohol, so if I am counting correctly, I am starting day 3 right now. I'll go to bed soon, it was cold last night but I sweated into my sheets as I was detoxing, I am expecting the same tonight.
I watched Intervention last night on TV and one lady they way she looked after 90 days gave me hope, I could connect to her story.
Last edited by Dee74; 04-15-2024 at 04:30 PM. Reason: Member requested change title
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
There was a time that I could barely string 3 days together - but I came here, and the community helped me.
I made 90 days and decided this was the life for me.
We can help you too 424~~ALive - stick around
I made 90 days and decided this was the life for me.
We can help you too 424~~ALive - stick around
The Dog
Join Date: Apr 2023
Location: Fly over state USA
Posts: 5,214
I made a few tries to quit. My first one here ended at 50 days, then I didn't even make it a month. Finally I learned that I will always be an alcoholic and all I really have to control is never taking the first drink. Every time I thought about taking the first drink I came here first.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 303
I will check in everyday, thank you Suki. I will stick around Dee, I really need help and support. D Dog, I have to take action to not take a drink. Viking, thank you, I will keep at this.
When it was earlier I ate a bowl of yogurt with blueberries and chocolate chips so that I wouldn't want to drink, it would curdle in my stomach, alcohol and yogurt.
Exhaustion is taking over, I am going to bed. Thank you to all of you.
When it was earlier I ate a bowl of yogurt with blueberries and chocolate chips so that I wouldn't want to drink, it would curdle in my stomach, alcohol and yogurt.
Exhaustion is taking over, I am going to bed. Thank you to all of you.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,956
Well done, 424. That change in mindset between being a drinker and a teetotaller is hard to achieve.
The 90 days target is great, but what’s the plan at the end of it? It surely has to be not to drink ever again? That sounded insurmountable to all us at first, but if I can do it, you can.
A big problem is boredom and anxiety. Start thinking about how to fill your time. You don’t want to be sat there missing the alcohol. Whilst your mind’s occupied doing other things, your body’s getting accustomed to not having alcohol. I reckon the most successful quitters are those who’ve changed lifestyles and taken up new interests. Stopping drinking is a HUGE thing. It’s not like buying new clothes or changing a brand of coffee, it’s more like moving house and home - to another country. It’s a big big deal, but it’s so worth doing. Keep posting, please, 424. You will get cravings, but post here first 🙂
The 90 days target is great, but what’s the plan at the end of it? It surely has to be not to drink ever again? That sounded insurmountable to all us at first, but if I can do it, you can.
A big problem is boredom and anxiety. Start thinking about how to fill your time. You don’t want to be sat there missing the alcohol. Whilst your mind’s occupied doing other things, your body’s getting accustomed to not having alcohol. I reckon the most successful quitters are those who’ve changed lifestyles and taken up new interests. Stopping drinking is a HUGE thing. It’s not like buying new clothes or changing a brand of coffee, it’s more like moving house and home - to another country. It’s a big big deal, but it’s so worth doing. Keep posting, please, 424. You will get cravings, but post here first 🙂
Member
Join Date: Sep 2023
Posts: 520
Hi 424 I totally agree with Hodd if I was you I'd focus on health, exercise and hobbies etc you've always wanted to try over these 90 days. If you make positive lifestyle changes in that time you'll start to feel amazing and really see the benefits of loosing alcohol has. Potentially then when you reach your 90 days you will possibly feel like a different person and not want to return to alcohol. If you spend the 90 days feeling like your bored giving something important up and not making changes your far more likely to relapse. I'm totally convinced beating alcohol or any addiction starts in the mind and committing to lasting better changes. Good luck 👍
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,956
^ Thanks, gymb, you can put it better than me 🙂
I’m sure you’ve read enough SR, 424, to know that drinking again after 90 days or even 9 years means a return to full-blown alcoholism. I never actually knew this until I joined here. I always assumed (wrongly) that I’d be OK to have an occasional drink. It’s definitely not the case. Plenty of documented examples of relapses after just one drink. Sorry if I’m going over old ground, but better safe than sorry.
I’m sure you’ve read enough SR, 424, to know that drinking again after 90 days or even 9 years means a return to full-blown alcoholism. I never actually knew this until I joined here. I always assumed (wrongly) that I’d be OK to have an occasional drink. It’s definitely not the case. Plenty of documented examples of relapses after just one drink. Sorry if I’m going over old ground, but better safe than sorry.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
You say you feel overwhelmed when you don't drink. I think that's pretty common. Alcohol quieted my mind. It was the way I stopped the overwhelm.
In time away from alcohol I've learned how to quiet my mind without an outside substance - the way I was created to do it.
This helps:
https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/
Box breathing is a technique used to calm yourself down with a simple 4 second rotation of breathing in, holding your breath, breathing out, holding your breath, and repeating.
Also known as Navy SEAL breathing technique, or tactical breathing, it’s a surprisingly simple and effective way to help regain calm and control of your thoughts when under stress.
A perfect visual meditation for when you can’t listen to audio, or just need a quick second to refocus.
Use this image to help you keep time!
Here are the directions:
Repeat for as many times as you need to calm down.
In time away from alcohol I've learned how to quiet my mind without an outside substance - the way I was created to do it.
This helps:
https://quietkit.com/box-breathing/
Box breathing is a technique used to calm yourself down with a simple 4 second rotation of breathing in, holding your breath, breathing out, holding your breath, and repeating.
Also known as Navy SEAL breathing technique, or tactical breathing, it’s a surprisingly simple and effective way to help regain calm and control of your thoughts when under stress.
A perfect visual meditation for when you can’t listen to audio, or just need a quick second to refocus.
Use this image to help you keep time!
Here are the directions:
- Inhale for 4 seconds (as the circle expands)
- Hold your lungs full for 4 seconds (as the circle stays fully expanded)
- Exhale for 4 seconds (as the circle shrinks)
- Hold your lungs empty for 4 seconds (as the circle is contracted)
Repeat for as many times as you need to calm down.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,174
Early in our attempts, we often use days, years, or time periods to get us started. For a while, my goal was just making it past 3 days, because 3 days was as long as I could go without a drink. Oddly, I didn't enjoy any of those three days. In fact, each one of those days was pure Hell, and each day got worse. Eventually, I made it past 3 days, but nothing got better, and 5 days was the worst day I experienced in recovery. And then I experienced a shift in my thinking when an old timer pointed out that the real goal was never taking another drink, not reaching for a specified length of time.
Like you, this forever idea was something that seemed beyond reason. If three days were murder, how much worse is forever? But I tentatively decided to stop marking time and focus on what I needed to do to avoid alcohol. Like you, I had doubts, but I decided for the first time in my life to at least give "forever sobriety" a try, because it was obvious that what I was doing was getting me nowhere. And the good part was that I had nothing to lose. Things got better fast, and soon I was in the "I'm done with alcohol for good" mode. Many of us simply call this freedom. THAT is the goal!
There is a paradox we need to understand here. When one year sounds like an absurd possibility, it's actually easier when you go for the bigger absurdity of NEVER. That's when things started to fall into place for me. I say started, but there's lots more that needs to be done, although its the fun stuff, not like those early days of nagging cravings.
Of course I support your 90 day experiment, but if it doesn't work or starts to seem like it won't work, think about changing your sobriety goal to "all in" as they say at the poker table. But unlike poker, when it comes to sobriety, "all in" is a pat hand, and a risk free bet. You can't lose going all in when it comes to sobriety. Sure you could fail, but so what? All you've been doing up to this point is failing anyway, so no matter how you spin it, you won't be worse off than you are now by going all in.
But try it and see. Try it now. If you do succeed, what seems like silly prattle from a stranger will actually make sense one day.
Like you, this forever idea was something that seemed beyond reason. If three days were murder, how much worse is forever? But I tentatively decided to stop marking time and focus on what I needed to do to avoid alcohol. Like you, I had doubts, but I decided for the first time in my life to at least give "forever sobriety" a try, because it was obvious that what I was doing was getting me nowhere. And the good part was that I had nothing to lose. Things got better fast, and soon I was in the "I'm done with alcohol for good" mode. Many of us simply call this freedom. THAT is the goal!
There is a paradox we need to understand here. When one year sounds like an absurd possibility, it's actually easier when you go for the bigger absurdity of NEVER. That's when things started to fall into place for me. I say started, but there's lots more that needs to be done, although its the fun stuff, not like those early days of nagging cravings.
Of course I support your 90 day experiment, but if it doesn't work or starts to seem like it won't work, think about changing your sobriety goal to "all in" as they say at the poker table. But unlike poker, when it comes to sobriety, "all in" is a pat hand, and a risk free bet. You can't lose going all in when it comes to sobriety. Sure you could fail, but so what? All you've been doing up to this point is failing anyway, so no matter how you spin it, you won't be worse off than you are now by going all in.
But try it and see. Try it now. If you do succeed, what seems like silly prattle from a stranger will actually make sense one day.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2020
Posts: 286
Originally Posted by DriGuy 
. You can't lose going all in when it comes to sobriety. Sure you could fail, but so what? All you've been doing up to this point is failing anyway, so no matter how you spin it, you won't be worse off than you are now by going all in.
Welcome 424! Supporting you through 90 and forever.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,174
Originally Posted by biminiblue
Box breathing is a technique used to calm yourself down
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: New York, New York
Posts: 600
When you said ‘I’m going to give it everything I’ve got in me’ - that’s the mindset! All the strength you can muster not to take that first drink. This is the most important decision you will ever make in your life - the decision to give up drinking. I wish you that strength - each minute, each hour, each day - like your life depends on it. And it does. You are on your way!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
Originally Posted by DriGuy
I actually downloaded this, probably from one of your earlier posts about a year ago. I had it on my desktop until a couple of months ago when I had the Great Electronics Catastrophe of '23 and had to replace my years old computer. I'm going to download it again.
s ❤️
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,585
It's wonderful to have you join us, 424. 3 days is something to be proud of.
I drank 30 years & never imagined life without it (even though it brought me nothing but misery in the end).
When I found SR I was instantly relieved to know I could share feelings with those who really understood. None of my family or friends could relate to what I was going through. It took some of the anxiety out of quitting to know others had been where I was. I remain vigilant by checking in here every day, as I have for years.
You can get free.
I drank 30 years & never imagined life without it (even though it brought me nothing but misery in the end).
When I found SR I was instantly relieved to know I could share feelings with those who really understood. None of my family or friends could relate to what I was going through. It took some of the anxiety out of quitting to know others had been where I was. I remain vigilant by checking in here every day, as I have for years.
You can get free.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 303
Thank you so very much every one of you. Reading your responses and your interaction is so much more helpful than just reading pages in a book about quitting. The interaction and response to a in the moment feeling sticks in my thoughts more.
There is so much to think about, so much to take in. I will reread this a couple of times today, my mind is still very sluggish right now.
I sweat again last night but worse was the muscle pains in my arms and hands and even my toes! Then my legs were jumping constantly in bed last night. The constant feeling from a hangover is life sucking, but. This healing and detoxing feels right and healthy in a very uncomfortable way. My body seems to be working the way it is suppose to, get the toxins out any way it can. Drinking more water is on my priority. I ate a banana and tomato juice just to get some balance in my electrolytes. The breathing technique is quite enjoyable and calming, I am doing that a lot today, thank you.
Will definitely work on changing my routine, lifestyle, I want to be a different person, I want to transform away from what I had become when alcohol took over me. I’ll keep the good parts of me, I still feel them inside of me wanting out, need to feed her, me, not the alcoholic person.
There is so much to think about, so much to take in. I will reread this a couple of times today, my mind is still very sluggish right now.
I sweat again last night but worse was the muscle pains in my arms and hands and even my toes! Then my legs were jumping constantly in bed last night. The constant feeling from a hangover is life sucking, but. This healing and detoxing feels right and healthy in a very uncomfortable way. My body seems to be working the way it is suppose to, get the toxins out any way it can. Drinking more water is on my priority. I ate a banana and tomato juice just to get some balance in my electrolytes. The breathing technique is quite enjoyable and calming, I am doing that a lot today, thank you.
Will definitely work on changing my routine, lifestyle, I want to be a different person, I want to transform away from what I had become when alcohol took over me. I’ll keep the good parts of me, I still feel them inside of me wanting out, need to feed her, me, not the alcoholic person.
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